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Next doors child always in my house

162 replies

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 14:50

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

OP posts:
Kidsalwayshere · 26/07/2026 09:27

@Crumpled86 I feel sorry for her too, she’s a nice (cheeky) kid, my son likes her but it’s all a bit much this week.
Woken up to rain! So hopefully it’s not going to be the kind of day they’ll want to go out, and no one is coming here today after the busy day we’ll be having.
Its nice to see a bit of rain!

OP posts:
Crumpled86 · 26/07/2026 08:47

This is the kind of thing that my dh would allow to continue but I'd put my foot down and actually speak to the great grandparents. I would have said that they could exchange phone numbers and check whether you are going to be in and are happy for her to come over for a set amount of time. I'd be clear in the conversation that you find her coming every day too much.

I do feel sorry for the girl in that parents aren't interested, she is being raised by grandparents who are hoisting her on great grandparents who are perhaps just too old or tired to manage her.

ThePoetsWife · 26/07/2026 08:30

Talk to the adults

Kidsalwayshere · 26/07/2026 08:26

Mirox1414 · 25/07/2026 22:24

Oh fuck that!!! Not a chance, tell her that you're doing stuff so she can't be there every day. You don't have to explain yourself, no is a complete sentence, and she's a child.
Tell the grandparents that this can't continue. Maybe word it a bit different to what I said if you're bothered about offending them, but definitely nip it in the bud love or you'll be running a camp for the rest of the 6 weeks holidays

We have got plans today, stuff on with my sons friends, then a visit to my parents and then seeing another of my sons friends late afternoon.
I will (and likely my son too) be shattered, and it’s going to be a quiet evening here! No uninvited guests today’s

OP posts:
Mirox1414 · 25/07/2026 22:24

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 14:50

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

Oh fuck that!!! Not a chance, tell her that you're doing stuff so she can't be there every day. You don't have to explain yourself, no is a complete sentence, and she's a child.
Tell the grandparents that this can't continue. Maybe word it a bit different to what I said if you're bothered about offending them, but definitely nip it in the bud love or you'll be running a camp for the rest of the 6 weeks holidays

AuntieBiotics · 25/07/2026 21:29

godmum56 · 25/07/2026 21:16

why do people immediately suggest lying?

They think they're being clever. They're not.

godmum56 · 25/07/2026 21:16

why do people immediately suggest lying?

GreenWhiteViolets123 · 25/07/2026 21:13

Mumto4loveliesxx · 25/07/2026 16:39

Can you say you’ve booked intensive online tutoring, so while he’s staying in, he won’t be available for play.

Why tell an elaborate lie? The truth is easier. "Sorry not today, maybe another day"

justmeandtheclan · 25/07/2026 21:08

NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 18:24

It’s the expectation that they don’t have to feed or give drinks to their granddaughter /great granddaughter because next door will.

The expectation is there because YOU are providing all of this for her. YOU CAN JUST NOT DO THAT. There is no gun to your head FFS!

Firstly , this would be driving me insane - I know what you mean by not being able to take the old bra off - to the poster saying the expectation ect …. She is a mother herself - she’s going to give a juice if she asks for it - not going to deprive her from a basic squash.
I agree it’s taking over - we used to have a neighbour like it and eventually my mum did just have to say no. Your not wrong for saying not today

Phineyj · 25/07/2026 20:37

Have you had safeguarding training?

I'm not there. I don't know (and neither do you) but this read awfully like one of the scenarios they give you in safeguarding training.

Hopefully she's fine but there are risks here.

outerspacepotato · 25/07/2026 20:35

When she came over today I was upstairs sorting washing and I heard my son shout, are you coming to my house today… I can hardly say no then.

Son, the rule is you don't ask people over without checking with me first. If you do, the answer will always be no.

Of course you can say no. It's not being a bitch, it's that you're not the local day care.

Oliwiaa · 25/07/2026 20:32

Phineyj · 25/07/2026 19:59

Nooo as she's their parent, knows where they are, it's for a short period and she clearly feeds them as she's referred to a cupboard full of snacks, catering ahead for son's friends etc.

And the other child is perfectly healthy looking and spends a couple of hours at the neighbours house before being sent home for tea 🤔

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 20:04

NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 19:59

Nope. Still makes zero sense.

I can’t help you with that

OP posts:
NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 19:59

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 18:33

Her grandmother would walk towards the car, shout back you’ve got an hour, or I’ll be back in an hour. Then she’d be back in 1.5 - 2 hours. Meaning she’d have an hour in her great grandparents I imagine (or an hour in our house!?)
I haven’t said all day have I? I’d say Monday she was here coming up to 5 hours, that was when I fed her dinner. Shortest day was yesterday and that was 1.5 hours maybe because I said she couldn’t stay for tea.
She has not been at great grandparents for just an hour this week. She arrived at 2.30 today, and was in my house by 2.45.

Nope. Still makes zero sense.

Phineyj · 25/07/2026 19:59

Oliwiaa · 25/07/2026 18:13

The OP has sent her child over to the great grandparents to play too, also neglect?

Nooo as she's their parent, knows where they are, it's for a short period and she clearly feeds them as she's referred to a cupboard full of snacks, catering ahead for son's friends etc.

LejlaKapovic · 25/07/2026 19:39

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 14:50

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

You need to nip this in the bud now. And you don't do that by telling the child that she can't come 'round. You need to knock on your neighbours' door and actually tell them that they have sent their grandchild over every day for a while without asking you first, and that it's not okay. You don't need to explain why, you just need to tell this neighbour that they can't send their grandchild over anymore and drive off, leaving you with the responsibility of her.

Also, whenever she asks intrusive questions or make intrusive comments, just smile and walk off. You don't need to give her feedback.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/07/2026 18:47

HerRoyalNotness · 25/07/2026 18:18

You have to just say not today when you don’t want her there. We had similar with a neighbours kid. I’d be in the pool with my Dd and she’d just appear in her swimsuit and get in. Wouldn’t actually leave when I told her to. She lived there three years and we only solved it by telling her no, my Dd is not playing today. She’ll come knock for you when she wants you to come over. Thankfully they’ve just moved a few streets away, haven’t seen her since.

You need a garden gate with a lock

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 18:34

And just left her great grandparents….

Thanks for the responses every one. Have a great weekend, what’s left of it

OP posts:
Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 18:33

NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 18:29

And in your OP she was being left for an hour by the grandparents. So how is she at your house all day/for dinner and snacks and in and out of your house constantly?!

Her grandmother would walk towards the car, shout back you’ve got an hour, or I’ll be back in an hour. Then she’d be back in 1.5 - 2 hours. Meaning she’d have an hour in her great grandparents I imagine (or an hour in our house!?)
I haven’t said all day have I? I’d say Monday she was here coming up to 5 hours, that was when I fed her dinner. Shortest day was yesterday and that was 1.5 hours maybe because I said she couldn’t stay for tea.
She has not been at great grandparents for just an hour this week. She arrived at 2.30 today, and was in my house by 2.45.

OP posts:
NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 18:29

And in your OP she was being left for an hour by the grandparents. So how is she at your house all day/for dinner and snacks and in and out of your house constantly?!

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 18:27

NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 18:24

It’s the expectation that they don’t have to feed or give drinks to their granddaughter /great granddaughter because next door will.

The expectation is there because YOU are providing all of this for her. YOU CAN JUST NOT DO THAT. There is no gun to your head FFS!

Ok !!!

Calm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV Land
OP posts:
godmum56 · 25/07/2026 18:24

Oliwiaa · 25/07/2026 18:22

It's a bit of a leap from an almost 9 year old knocking for the child next door (who has also come over to play at theirs) to 7 year olds roaming the streets.
But we do like a dramatic interpretation I suppose.

I wqas answering your comment which was much broader than this one child. basically you leapt first.

NotTheHRPolice · 25/07/2026 18:24

It’s the expectation that they don’t have to feed or give drinks to their granddaughter /great granddaughter because next door will.

The expectation is there because YOU are providing all of this for her. YOU CAN JUST NOT DO THAT. There is no gun to your head FFS!

Kidsalwayshere · 25/07/2026 18:23

Just to add, she doesn’t look starved, she looks perfectly healthy. Maybe she’s just like a cat, who goes around others houses to be fed, even though they’re fed plenty at home 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Oliwiaa · 25/07/2026 18:22

godmum56 · 25/07/2026 18:18

I dunno....I think at 7 its a bit young for kids to just wander off on their own without an adult somewhere being broadly responsible for the child....knowing they went to the shop and roughly how long they will be.....going to the park in a gang and not alone....same with calling for friends...maybe not expected but knowing they will be let in.

It's a bit of a leap from an almost 9 year old knocking for the child next door (who has also come over to play at theirs) to 7 year olds roaming the streets.
But we do like a dramatic interpretation I suppose.