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Original poster

Could my husband’s recent behaviour point to dementia or something else?

58 replies

BlueJellycat · 23/07/2026 09:06

I'm getting fed up with husbands total lack of empathy. He has been like this for years but recently he is getting even more insular and selfish.

So for example he is OK but we but we don't do things together any more and that has creeped into lack of communication. He has sent ds into school with no uniform and insisted he didn't. I had to email school who confirmed ds went in non uniform. This was three days in a row. No thoughts of washing uniform or informing me.

He has ignored getting the dry washing in off the line and has left it for days ( new behaviour). Stopped engaging in buying weekly food ( new behaviour). And therefore sometimes theres no food. I have just gone back to work after being disabled ds carer for 11 years.

I have told him he has to step up, not down or I will have to resign. He agrees. Gets worse. He found me the job and wanted me to take it. I'm still struggling with my carers role and as above ds isn't being cared for.

I told dh that ds hears voices that tell him to do bad things. No reaction. No questions. No follow up conversation.

there's no discussion on dinner unless I initiate it. All of this week we haven't eaten together. He hasn't commented on that. Just been busy so dd has had beans on toast, ive had toast. He has had nothing. Normally we discus dinner every evening. When i didnt chase, family meals stopped.

all communication starts via me. Unless i ask whats for dinner, please get the washing in etc nothing happens. He hasnt moved the washing basket back to bathroom. Just leaves his clothes on the landing.

We had a chat and i said i wasnt sure i was happy in our marriage. He didnt comment at all.

He been not been able to get an errection for over two years. In all of that time he has been to the Dr's once. That was a year ago. The last time we had sex in April I told him to go the gp again. He didn't. Lots of excuses. He is so busy, we are bust, life is busy.

Now I honest think he has started to show signs of dementia. He keeps on saying he will try to engage more but in the last two weeks he has got worse. He dresses himself. Feeds himself and forgets there are school age children he normally cares for.

I told him this last night. Again no response. He is totally blank. He didn't seem worried at all.

OP posts:
Betterbeingdead · 23/07/2026 18:20

Long time lurker never posted before. Your op terrified me . My mother had same symptoms although she was over 70 so everyone said dementia . Then she went for eye test . Sent straight round to GP . Turned out she had a brain tumour . It was like she was still there but not the same

Original poster
BlueJellycat · 23/07/2026 17:35

He is 52. Ds is 14 and been disabled forever. That's nothing new.

No he says nothing at all in response to my concerns. If if push him he denies and deflects and only after doing that will he apologise and say he will change but by the next day it's like there's been no conversation at all.

No reaction to the suggesting his personality change and ED could be vascular and linked. No idea what he thought of that. Today, as usual it's like the conversation never happened.

OP posts:
Thundertoast · 23/07/2026 11:05

I think the fact he's been like this for years indicates thats its more likely to be that he has realised he can get away with it, i would expect him to also be struggling to look after himself if it was a neurological or mental health issue?

ComedyGold007 · 23/07/2026 10:52

Forgetting that you have children at all and taking them to school without being in school uniform is beyond being lazy. I would think this could be dementia or similar and he (or you) should speak to the GP.

ginasevern · 23/07/2026 10:42

Do you mean he says absolutely nothing when you question these behaviours? Have you not told him that you're deeply concerned about his mental state? How old is he?

user67392097643 · 23/07/2026 10:04

How old is he? Presumably if your kids are young, he is also young for dementia although not impossible. There are plenty of other illnesses that have similar symptoms though.
It sounds like there’s a lot of stress going on for both of you, I’d think depression more likely unless he’s a really old dad.

orangehandles · 23/07/2026 10:00

This sounds more like he just does not care in any way shape or form about you or your dc. He doesn't want to know, so he ignores everything. He knows if he doesn't do it, you will, but he doesn't actually give a shit if things don't get done anyway.

Why are you staying with him and tolerating such a horrible situation? It is not so much why does he behave like that, but more why are you putting up with it?

24Dogcuddler · 23/07/2026 09:58

Could he be depressed? He sounds overwhelmed and detached from everyday life.
If he’s been like this for years he may have difficulty with executive functioning.

I’d be encouraging him to see the GP.
Do you get much support with DS?

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