I've been waiting for my adult ASD assessment & they've just contacted me saying that they have slots available this week, so I'm all booked in.
I'm so nervous.
I know that they will all vary but can I just have some reassurance that it won't feel like they are judging me?
I HATE doing online meetings, cannot stand them. I spend the whole time thinking 'I look stupid/sound stupid/look at my hair/should have got changed/can't hear them properly but don't want to say/hate the sound of my voice/look fat/can't sit still'... Etc. honestly, I'm SO critical of myself. If there's ever a chance to do something in person then I will (although this brings a whole new level of worries!)
Anyway, I've had a rough couple of years where I've been criticised by professionals for my lack of eye contact/facial expressions/smiling when I shouldn't etc, & I've kept away from new people as much as I can since then.
This is one of the first online meeting type things that I'll have to do since being criticised like that, & I'm so scared.
Please be kind, I just want to know if it's like a tick box thing or if it's more you talk & they make notes, & will they be commenting on if I smile at the wrong time etc (although I've developed this habit of covering my mouth now as I don't want people to see if I smile) will that in itself be criticised?
I was also criticised for focusing on a fidget type thing (it was just a pen but I was fiddling with it) during a face to face meeting, but I always have a pen or something at meetings as I need something.
Will that be criticised as well though?
Sorry. I think this is just a jumbled mess but I'm in a massive panic & want to cancel it