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Questioning parenting now you have your own kids

4 replies

Collla · 21/07/2026 22:55

Is anyone else shocked at the things their mum did when they were growing up now they have teens of their own? Mine was getting thrown out at 16 (for nothing she did it to all her kids) my mum going abroad for a week when I was 14 leaving me alone with my younger brother (no emergency contacts, no near by family and didnt chat to the neighbours) left to walk home from school in primary school not a problem on it’s own but she refused to give a key because “we would lose it” so had to sit in the garden sometimes for hours waiting for her to come home from work (no phones back then so would just have no idea how long that would be) now i have kids/ teens of my own I just can’t believe some of the stuff she did but was it just a different time? 90s not talking about abusive situations obviously there is worse just questionable parenting!

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Bex268 · 21/07/2026 22:57

So much! Getting told no drinks with meals as the drink would fill me up ☹️

Tulipsriver · 21/07/2026 23:05

It's the opposite for me, I held my parents to impossibly high standards before I had my own children (how dare they not have handled every single interaction perfectly regardless of how much of a monster I was being at the time?).

It sounds like your mum was pretty terrible though and I'm sorry you didn't get the parents you deserved growing up. The fact that you are feeling like this now is proof that you are a good mum and your children will have a much more stable life than you did Flowers

Tulipsriver · 21/07/2026 23:06

Bex268 · 21/07/2026 22:57

So much! Getting told no drinks with meals as the drink would fill me up ☹️

I think this was a pretty common belief at one point? I remember my mum and her siblings overriding my grandmother whenever she tried to tell us not to drink with meals. She was a very caring woman and seemed to genuinely worry that drinking with a meal was an issue.

Collla · 22/07/2026 02:12

Thanks all, yeah I often wonder but to my childhood and think wow was this acceptable?! 😕 was never invited on the holiday so it wasnt a case of not wanting to go.

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