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Views on this playground situation?

29 replies

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 18:46

So no big confrontation here, but I'm interested to see what other people think about this playground situation and how the parents dealt with it.

9yo boy goes over to a piece of play equipment and starts playing on it fairly robustly. At this point, he's the only child on it. A 5yo girl from another family comes and joins him and the two of them are playing together just fine, in the same way, for a few moments. Then her 6yo brother comes along and starts playing with it, but is scared and unhappy with the way the other two are playing so starts shrieking.

The mum of the 9yo is watching from nearby and shouts to her child, "tone it down a bit, sweetie, that boy's a bit scared". 9yo starts playing a bit more gently, but 6yo is still unhappy and shrieking.

The mum of the 5 and 6yo comes across and says sharply to the 9yo "you need to stop playing like that, he's only 6 and they're much smaller than you".

The 9yo's mum then gets up and says to her son, "I know you were playing on it first, it was your turn and they interrupted you playing, but the most important thing is that everyone is safe and not upset, so why don't you come off for now, we'll do something else, and you can have another turn later when hopefully you'll be able to play without anyone getting upset." She gives him a hug and goes with him to play somewhere else.

Would you think that anyone should have behaved differently in this scenario?

OP posts:
ShetlandishMum · 18/07/2026 18:48

I had removed my shrieking 6yo and let the other two play.

somanychristmaslights · 18/07/2026 18:53

Clearly you’re the mum of the 9yo? A bit passive aggressive, but the girl was also on it so not sure why the 9yo got the brunt of the parent moaning.

olympicsrock · 18/07/2026 18:56

The mum of the younger children was wrong to speak to the 9 year old. She should have taken her children off it , or asked 9 year old nicely if it was possible for him to play more gently .

Mum of 9 year old was diplomatic and diffused the situation

usererror99 · 18/07/2026 19:03

The mum of the 9 year old handled it perfectly

superspideysense · 18/07/2026 19:04

I think (depending on what robustly means) I’d have removed my 6 year old if they were that upset and suggested they play on something else whilst the others continued. This is assuming the robust playing was actually safe. If not safe then the other two should have been advised to play differently.

hard to know really. I guess the 9 yo parent felt they had no other choice.

concertinacornflake · 18/07/2026 19:07

If I was the parent of the 9yo I'd have suggested they tone it down to allow everyone to play together.

If I was the parent of the 6yo I'd have suggested they play on something else if they weren't happy.

I wouldn't have made any of the comments the parents in the OP made.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:08

By "robustly", the 9yo was playing in a way and at a speed that was probably safe for children his age and maybe physically capable younger children, but not for toddlers and timid older children.

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 18/07/2026 19:10

I think the mum of the 6yo should have said the 6yo needed to get off and have a go later on his own.
The mum of the 9yo was fine.

(I'm imagining one of those big caterpillar swings, or maybe a roundabout)

superspideysense · 18/07/2026 19:13

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:08

By "robustly", the 9yo was playing in a way and at a speed that was probably safe for children his age and maybe physically capable younger children, but not for toddlers and timid older children.

Hmm. I think if my older one was doing that, and younger ones came along I’d ask them to play a bit slower so all can play.

but I stick to what I said originally and if two were already happily playing like that and my younger one was upset - I’d suggest they play later.

which one are you OP? You seem to know the ages so I’m guessing you know all the kids?

stichguru · 18/07/2026 19:17

The mum of the 6 year old should have got him off. If BOTH the younger kids were scared, yes the 9 year old should have toned it down while there were young children around, but if the youngest kid was ok, it sounds like it was not generally too rough, but just the 6 year old didn't like it so he should come off.

TessSaysYes · 18/07/2026 19:18

The mum of the younger kids needs a more friendly attitude. The play ground is for all children not just hers. Perhaps she needs to rethink going to the playground with her sensitive son...till he's older.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:20

So it wasn't daggers at dawn stuff or anything like that 😂.

The thrilling sequel was that 9yo went to play on another piece of equipment, 5yo girl (who had taken quite a shine to 9yo) followed 9yo and started playing with him again, 6yo followed his sister and started shrieking about being scared/being too high up.

At which point, mum of the two younger kids did remove the younger boy and both mums started laughing about the situation. Especially as 9yo has a 2yo sister, so by this point had two small girls following him around the playground like little ducklings.

Yes, I'm the 'owner' of the 9yo. And I'm not normally passive aggressive, but I do think the older ones should get a go on the equipment now and then without being hampered by younger ones. Not hog it, but just a few moments to themselves to go really fast or play how they like before they tone it down for the little ones to join as well.

OP posts:
SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 19:21

"I know you were playing on it first, it was your turn and they interrupted you playing, but the most important thing is that everyone is safe and not upset, so why don't you come off for now, we'll do something else, and you can have another turn later when hopefully you'll be able to play without anyone getting upset." She gives him a hug and goes with him to play somewhere else.

Well I'd make my point to the 9 year old with about a quarter of those words, as this was unnecessarily long.

But ultimately the shrieking child should've been removed.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:27

SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 19:21

"I know you were playing on it first, it was your turn and they interrupted you playing, but the most important thing is that everyone is safe and not upset, so why don't you come off for now, we'll do something else, and you can have another turn later when hopefully you'll be able to play without anyone getting upset." She gives him a hug and goes with him to play somewhere else.

Well I'd make my point to the 9 year old with about a quarter of those words, as this was unnecessarily long.

But ultimately the shrieking child should've been removed.

You've got a point, but 9yos aren't toddlers and sometimes do appreciate a bit more of an explanation of how the world works - i.e. sometimes even though what we're doing isn't wrong in itself, there are reasons why we should stop doing it for the welfare of others.

OP posts:
SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 19:30

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:27

You've got a point, but 9yos aren't toddlers and sometimes do appreciate a bit more of an explanation of how the world works - i.e. sometimes even though what we're doing isn't wrong in itself, there are reasons why we should stop doing it for the welfare of others.

Yeah but maybe not in the middle of a playground.

I would've found it quite embarrassing at that age.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:38

@SallyD00lally .I guess all kids are different. My DS needed a bit of reassurance after being snapped at by a stranger when he was playing normally.

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ToadRage · 18/07/2026 19:38

If the 9 year old and 5 year old were fine playing together I would have expected the mother to remove the shrieking child. He had the problem and should have been removed from the situation and calmed down.

Oliwiaa · 18/07/2026 19:44

I wouldn't have done the whole performance parenting speech to the 9yo, I'd have just said come on love, lets go play on something else for a bit.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:47

Oliwiaa · 18/07/2026 19:44

I wouldn't have done the whole performance parenting speech to the 9yo, I'd have just said come on love, lets go play on something else for a bit.

Why not? Why shouldn't he be told that he hadn't done anything wrong?

OP posts:
Darragon · 18/07/2026 19:47

I thought what you did was spot on OP. Sometimes people need to hear things like that so they can catch themselves on.

Oliwiaa · 18/07/2026 19:49

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:47

Why not? Why shouldn't he be told that he hadn't done anything wrong?

Why would he think he'd done something wrong?
Both mums seem to be making a drama out of nothing.

SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 21:21

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 19:47

Why not? Why shouldn't he be told that he hadn't done anything wrong?

Let’s face it, you were talking to the other mum.

That’s why the speech was long and performative.

mynameiscalypso · 18/07/2026 21:26

I have a 6 year old son who would have reacted in the same way as the 6 year old and a 5 year old niece who would have reacted as the 5 year old. I hate taking them to the park together as I spend my time retrieving my DS from things he’s followed her up which he’s too scared to get down from. If there was a cool 9 year old around, I definitely would have removed the 6 year old and let the 5 year old have fun with the 9 year old (assuming she wasn’t annoying him).

Error404FucksNotFound · 18/07/2026 21:34

SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 21:21

Let’s face it, you were talking to the other mum.

That’s why the speech was long and performative.

Thats how i saw it too.
Talking through the kid, as opposed to to them.

HappySummerFun · 18/07/2026 21:59

SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 21:21

Let’s face it, you were talking to the other mum.

That’s why the speech was long and performative.

No, I wasn't. I was talking to my son and I didn't really care if what I said offended the other mum. It was his turn and he had been interrupted playing.

I don't think what I said was unusual in terms of communicating with a 9 year old. They're not toddlers and don't need three word commands.

OP posts: