I don’t enjoy being a parent…

I agree on the relentlessness of it all. I've been a single mum for 16 years and did everything because ex refused to change nappies, feed ds, get up to night waking or pretty much anything else.

It felt worst when ds was 5 or 6 and demanded the most attention, wanting help with homework, learn to cycle, learn to swim, build dens in the woods. It was non-stop, 365 days a year and I was shattered, but it does ease off. They get more able to entertain themselves, gradually they learn to help with things, and eventually you become a team.

How old are your dcs?

Hang in there OP, it will get better xx

I felt like this for so long when I was a single parent to two through the toddler years. Now my eldest are teens I decided to have one more. Ended up two more and I really love parenting my twins (most of the time!). I think it’s being older and more patient and having a decent partner. But I completely get you, because I felt like that with my older two. It felt relentless, constant, and not worth it, even though I love them to pieces. They’re much nicer now they’re teenagers!

I'm surprised many women have children. If you could do a dummy run for 5 years, the majority would probably say no thanks, not for me!

Totally understand where you are coming from. The constant big and small provocations of the typical child, combined with entertaining them, feeding them, cleaning up, the 24/7 responsibility and no meaningful time for yourself doesn't sound like a route to happiness and fulfillment.

It often occurs to me that if our homes were subjected to the same laws as workplaces, a lot of it would be illegal.

As it's mostly women suffering this, not much gets done to change it. Especially as it's still a bit taboo to say you hate it, and can expect a huge dose of social shaming. It's getting more acceptable to say it, but you never know.

Totally relatable. Ours are 7 and nearly 5 and jesus it's relentless. Nothing prepares you for it. They are both high needs (not diagnosed but very high maintenance children) and we've no support. Its really not at all what I imagined tbh and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have them.

I would too. I swear people who have really hands on grandparents are living completely different lives.

We have been lucky enough to have a couple of child free weekends (our DC are 10 and almost 5). The problem is although it's a break from them and the daily grind, the worry and the weight of responsibility never goes away - but maybe that's just us. Our DC were much longed for (v long infertility battle) but I feel the same as you. If I knew what the reality of having kids was like I think I would have made a different choice. I love them fiercely and we have lots of fun but it never stops. For me, the daily grind is hard, but the harder thing for me is I feel like I will never feel foot loose and fancy free again and I didn't really anticipate what a difference that would make to who I was as a person.

Samanabanana 'For me, the daily grind is hard, but the harder thing for me is I feel like I will never feel foot loose and fancy free again and I didn't really anticipate what a difference that would make to who I was as a person.'

Same here. I had a terrible feeling of being trapped for so many years and no wonder because the nuclear family is unnatural to our biology and neurology. Playing a role most of the time with the real me trapped underground. The cultural script keeping it all going.