Moving into a refuge tomorrow, help me make a list

Does your ex know about the cottage?

Op what you need to think about firstly is what is actually practical for you to get out with. For example if you pack a bag will that be noticed and make you unsafe as opposed to a small gathering of important documents like your passport/ driving licence, kids birth certs etc.

If you need to pack a bag perhaps leaving it at a friend's house in advance could be an option if you can do that safely.

There is nothing but yourself and any kids you might have that cannot be replaced if it comes to it so getting yourself out safely is most important apart from necessary medication.

Have you asked your employer to temporarily keep your job open? Might be worth doing.

Are you sure there is no tracker in your car?

Glasses and spare glasses. Contact lenses.

Prescription meds.

Birth certificates, passport, driving license, insurance docs. Pension information. Wage slips. Benefits info.

Old photos (as in physical photos you don’t have a back up of).

Precious items like baby’s first shoes etc.

Any cash you have. Any valuable items eg expensive jewellery.

Phone and laptop chargers.

You ladies are so brave and im full of admiration. I’m lucky never to have experienced DV but wish you all the best, you sound like you are doing an amazing job getting the pets sorted etc. I asked chatgbt about help with fuel, Some options include:

• Emergency support payments – Many domestic abuse services can access emergency funds to pay for essential travel, including petrol, taxis or other transport needed to reach safety. They may also help with food and temporary accommodation costs.
• Rail to Refuge – If travelling by train to a confirmed refuge, free rail travel is available through the Rail to Refuge scheme. The refuge or domestic abuse service arranges the ticket.
• Refuges and local charities – Organisations such as Refuge can help people access emergency grants, arrange safe transport, and find accommodation.
• Local authority welfare assistance – Some councils have emergency welfare funds that can help with travel or other immediate costs when someone is fleeing abuse.

Woman’s Aid website has a list of what to take when leaving (not specifically to a refuge), including important documents like birth certs, prescription medication.
Have you got a safe leaving plan? Hope all goes well and for the future OP

Just a post to give a bit of moral support and to say you’ve got this.
Remember to change passwords on your email accounts and banking if they are known by your partner.
Make sure you have any tracking apps deleted eg 360 and make sure your child does too - snap chat location needs to be turned off.
If your child has a favourite toy or snuggle blanket take that.

Just adding, I turned up with literally the dress I was wearing, a bag of toiletries and crisps a woman volunteer in the hospital had sorted for me, and nothing else. Everything was still completely fine!

It's 13 years since I was in a refuge so I might be a bit out of the loop but I'll try to help!

When you get there, they will help you with all your life admin stuff, so don't worry about bills etc right now.

Take what food shopping you can because you'll have a fridge and so on to keep it in.

Clothes- what you think will fit into a couple of chests of drawers.

Bedding will be provided. Take some towels.

You can still go on holiday, but they'll want to be sure that you're going to be safe there.

Honestly, don't worry. The staff are all very very good at what they do and the freedom, the sheer relief, will be just amazing.

All the best! Please PM me if you want to. X