Im a minger Help!!!!

I’m a similar size to you OP, and probably age. I’m 18 in tops 14 in trousers and I think it’s possible you are similar. It’s the bust that doesn’t fit in the tops lol

You have a better figure than me and I think you look fine. The jumper is also ok, I’d wear that at home. I’m sure I have far worse. I’d probably put the jumper with skinny jeans even though they are not even in fashion.

I’m 51 and the perimenopause plus chronic pain has done its job on me too, I go out to work each day so have to be relatively put together so at weekends I’m a slob in dog walking leggings, my tips (from myself and some over 50s on SM)

1. hair, you wear you’re hair everyday so a good cut and colour is an essential for me
2. I’ve really researched skincare this year, started with one product that would make a difference and built up a routine. It doesn’t need to be expensive and I know I’m not going to have 20 year olds skin again but my skin is starting to look and feel better, my dark spots are reducing too.
3. start with a good pair of jeans that suit your body shape, take a good few pairs into the changing room and find what looks good on you, I’m a classic pear with a big bum so skinny jeans, those barrel legs do nothing for me. Plus I’m only 5 foot 3, I’m living wide leg jeans just now, from there a nice pair of trainers, a few tops and a good jacket are the next key pieces.
4. Good luck and have fun experimenting

You have a great figure, so that's a good start. Spend some money at Uniqlo, buy some colourful trainers and jolly socks for when you leave the house, go to a good hairdresser and ask them to be bold with recommendations.

Get some natural looking makeup. A dab of lippie/mascara/blush (doesn't have to be all) for around the house. Put it on first thing, and you'll feel better every time you catch yourself in the mirror. Maybe a bit of tinted moisturiser too.

Lastly, a pair of simple earrings and some perfume.

Sounds a lot but isn't a huge departure from what your picture shows, and hopefully will perk you up a bit.

And agree with the posters who suggested bra fitting. Always worth it

Highlights, and a session with a personal shopper at John Lewis would be something I recommend. Maybe even try and new hairdresser? Mix things up a bit. If you're unsure of your style you could try Pinterest and create a board of things you like on other people. Maybe try and see what would work on you. I follow women, I guess you would call influencers, that I admire re their personal style and feel it matches my vibe.
Try some more modern shaped jeans and tailored trousers. Basics like long sleeve tees, cashmere jumpers etc. Create style not just throw on clothes. Use belts, accessories like jewellery, scarves and the right shoes for the right bottoms. For instance chisel toe or pointed boots, loafers, ballet pumps, low profile trendier trainers. Theres lots of guidance videos online about what shapes go together.

If you've got the money - find a decent professional make-up artist to give you two looks (day and evening), recommend products and teach you how to do it properly yourself. Then find a good hair dresser and get a decent new cut - and possibly colour - and keep on top of it. Find a stylist too - proper one none of this works in Selfridges and thinks they have an eye jobby - and get them to teach you what works for your shape and colouring and then take an interest in fashion and then work out what you like you in - and do that. The key is finding things that you like. And if you want - really take care of your skin, facials, decent products (tret especially) and remember that botox is your friend.

I'm a similar age and size as you. I bought the same jumper from Seasalt, wore it twice and then ditched it!! It made me look very frumpy.

I have very recently decided to fight back and current casual looks include...
Band t-shirts and black jeans
Long sleeve tees with short sleeve tee on top
Nice chunky jumpers (more shape)
V necks
Cashmere always good anytime
Footwear nearly always ankle boots or new balance trainers (on sale)

I've also started dyeing my hair purple again, after 30 years.

So really channeling my inner goth!

It's definitely worth getting a good foundation and lip stick/blush. Jones Road is excellent but you may have to order online.

Love the jumper don’t bin it, needs skinny jeans paired though. Shoes need help. I would focus on your hair, grow it out, get it professionally conditioned and styled, maybe dyed blonde or dark. Drink lots of water. Make sure your teeth are in order Get some Botox for the wrinkles or a face lift. How far do you want to go?

Burn that outfit first.

@Nylonflares I didn't say that.

I agree @seahorsessky but we aren’t pushing tweakments here, it’s just a little bit of self care.
Like everything, from gardens, tidy houses right through to relationships - you generally get out what you put in, few of us wake up looking great, and if you don’t care, that’s fine, although I do wonder why such people frequent S & B!
Finally, I heard a good quote this week…
A good haircut won’t change your life but a bad one will

Just go to anywhere that still has big shops and pick out whatever you like and that makes you feel happy. Do you love certain fabrics or colours? What matters to your husband is just you being a good person, and I'm sure he thinks you are gorgeous, because he's old enough to judge by what matters! You sound like a really caring person from what you've put in your post, and he'll admire you as his wife and mum of his kids. Most adult men don't care about fashion and would be distressed about middle-aged people worrying about their looks like a teenager. Not saying you are, but get really bothered by ageing-I know one man in our area who lost his wife-she was always having cosmetic treatments and surgery and died as a result. Sad enough when that happens with youngsters, but it's awful that some middle-aged women feel they have to spend all their time and money risking their health.
It is of course their/your choice, but it just makes me so sad every time I think about her.

Treat yourself to getting your colour and style analysis done through a local consultant. It'll boost your confidence in investing in different clothes that make you feel good. I did this through a House of Colour consultant years ago and i still stick to my colours and the styles that suit my body shape and personality. I did a make up session with them too, but you can get things like that at beauty counters in big department stores, I usually find myself going back to my more basic make up routines though! I hope you're making time for your health, happiness and wellbeing too - we mums often put ourselves bottom of the priority list. Xx

Ah it is tricky working from home and not really needing to make yourself up.

A little tinted moisturiser, bit of blush and a lip balm with a wash of colour will perk up your complexion and look more polished.

I’d suggest some plain coloured, lightweight crew neck jumpers (M&S do some great and inexpensive options), with a plain white t-shirt just poking out at the neck (looks put together and pops), and a pair of well fitting dark blue jeans with simple white tennis shoe type trainers.

It looks classic but polished and is simple, comfortable and easy to achieve without spending a fortune.

Couple with a good haircut and you’re good to go! Xxx

Okie

This casual style would be good, along with lots of what others have suggested. I don't use foundation as I think it's aging but recommend either a CC or a colour changing foundation. Drink lots of water.

I’m also a size 18 with a large bust and stomach (pic of gym clothes for body shape ref)
I don’t know how big people think a size 18 is!
I find thinner jumpers/layers more flattering than chunky ones but a chunky cardigan works ok on me. Always a v neck or scoop neck or if I wear a higher neck top then I wear a v neck over it to give the illusion of breaking up the chest area

Roman while not trendy do some good dresses and also lightweight v neck jumpers. Next also fits me well and M&S trousers (I find their tops too short)

it might be old fashioned but I tend to go with fitted top half, loose bottom half or vice versa as anything loose all over makes me look bigger

You look tall OP or if you’re not, you’re perfectly proportioned, so that’s great. Again, I’d never had said you were a size 18.
My tips would be
A little bit of facial fake tan every other day, it really works and comes in various shades from light to ultra dark - the drops are great that you can add to your moisturiser
Make up products
Eborian is so easy to use, it goes on white and blends to your skin colour - the one in the grey tube
Eyebrow pencil -ELF waterproof, bombproof, comes in loads of colours and spooky on the end to brush through brows
Mascara - I like waterproof because I’m a toucher!
Bronzer - not dark, just for a glow
Waterproof lip pencil - matching your lips to give definition
Tinted lip balm
Hair
Blow dry properly using heat protection spray - section, round brush, smooth it out, it will last
Hot brush for non wash days to smooth and add shine
Serum - again to smooth and add gloss, the Olaplex one is amazing, lightweight, undetectable and your hair but better
Clothes
Buy plain colours only and add interest with jewellery - earrings do make a difference
Wear good footwear, fashionable but not too fashionable 😂
Get a good coat that suits your lifestyle
Layer in all one colour, so if it’s the khakis you like, khaki vest, khaki shirt, khaki jumper over shoulders - gold necklace and earrings, jeans and khaki socks
Perfume, daytime friendly
Good luck, you definitely do not look like a bloke! Stand tall, which you will when you feel like you’re rocking all of the above

She is a lot older than you, but I think @/vivthecarer on instagram always looks amazing. I think women of all ages find her quite inspiring because she knows how to dress her shape and also has fun with it
https://www.instagram.com/vivthecarer?obrf=MWcwMGozNjY0d2N0bA==

Is that a sewing room in the background? Have you looked at Merchant & Mills if you can sew?

I don’t “try hard”

I like to look good and a bit less knackered. It makes me happy

its patronising fuckers I feel sorry for

What I'd do is elongate. You don't look a size 18, but your clothes look a bit too big on you.

V necks. Longer necklaces. Monochromatic dressing. Tighter fits. Some width at the bottom. Sneaker or pointier toe shoe or boot.

If you're caregiving much of the day, try some yoga pants, maybe with a bit of a flare bottom. You can move with ease, you're comfortable, nothing's going to rip or fall down. Black or navy or deep charcoal. Get some long sleeve v neck tees. Everything easy to wash and dry. For everyday and no caregiving, try some wider leg pants and a turtleneck or v neck. Get a decent bra.

Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, at least a half hour of exercise daily and lift at least twice a week, spend time outdoors, retinol, moisturizer, and sunscreen. Basic, but with caregiving responsibilities, time can be limited.

I think you have a lovely figure OP. I agree with the above the perimenopause was pretty brutal for me. I have made small changes, a mediternaean diet, more moderate excercises and have gradually added in some hair and beauty products. The ordinary have some lovely serums, which won't break the bank.

I am starting to feel better and taking more of an interest in clothes again. I'm just wary of slipping back.

And we are back to "try hard"

Sorry for you

I think someone left the gate open on the cunt AIBU enclosure....