The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

@roaringdragon sorry about your hand. Is it serious? DS1 has timing down to a fine art, doesn't he?

I think she might, @roaringdragon . I don't know whether I could get that into her EHCP without any evidence though.

I'm tired.

Lots of progress @Violasilkie !

@Fififizz how was college today?

We're back in A&E. The ANP saw DD2 this evening and wasn't happy with her.

Sorry you are drained and numb with the SN stuff @Fififizz it really shouldn't be as hard as it is. I find distraction helps a bit but its an awful system (even working used to help).

We just managed to fix the kitchen lights ourselves and have removed the old lino, put filler down and cleaned the floor and cleaned the kitchen. Have arranged for electrician to come to quote on Monday. Also told DS about our plans and he seemed fine though didn't seem to like when I said we would paint the shed next spring. Not sure why but he went outside then but had been fine about being told about moving the washing machine and drier to make more room in his bathroom, the neighbours tree having pruning from our garden, the new shed arriving, the electrician and the plumber. Maybe his thought I meant he couldn't use the shed until spring though he quickly returned.

Sorry about your DS @Zzzzzs hope he feels better soon.

@Lougle

Sounds like a lot of positives in there. I’m sorry DD 1 is finding things difficult. Keeping everything crossed that a suitable placement can be found and she can move forwards.

You just reminded me I need to do our ADHD meds review. I put it off as DC is so difficult about it and can’t be bothered so is very prickly. I keep explaining if we don’t play ball we’ll get booted out and no meds. Part of me is not keen on the idea of the meds but they seem to help focus. DC was late dx as a teen after CAMHS refused twice. Our LHA uses older assessment criteria unfortunately which doesn’t capture inattentive ADHD. The RTC did a online test thing (can’t remember the name). I was shocked at the fidgety behaviour whilst DC was doing it. The feet were literally doing a jig under the table throughout.

Hoping college is a bit better today. I sound awful but I’m so drained by everything I’m feeling a bit numb. I’m post menopausal and just find it difficult to care now, I’ve completely lost my energy and mojo somewhere along the way. I also have autoimmune stuff going on and am supposed to limit/manage my stress! 🤐

I'm always a little in awe of DD2. She is so opaque in so many ways, but then she says something that gives me a glimpse of how alien the world is to her, and it helps me to see the massive efforts she puts in to every day life. Tonight's offering was "Is it bad that I'm really looking forward to not going to college tomorrow and doing generally nothing tomorrow?" My answer was "No, that's called 'resting'. I can guarantee you that 99% of people look forward to their day off." Her answer was "Oh ok." The poor girl thought she was wrong for looking forward to a day off.

DD3's Head Teacher has emailed with an updated timetable after I raised DD3's (many!) complaints about it at the end of last term. It's much better and he's really taken on board all of her feedback to create a timetable that will work. Although there are only 28 students, the 1:1/2:1 setting makes timetabling quite an ordeal, so I know he's had to do a lot of Tetris-style moves to get everything fixed in time for Monday.

DD1 is finding the 'back to school' season difficult because there's no plan for her. She shook her head yesterday and said 'I do worry about my future' <sigh>. The LA have said they'll ask her to be added to a waiting list for an in year place at a couple of settings, and the likelihood is a 2027 start. Tbh, I'm thinking it's unlikely that anywhere will want her, so resi social care may be better. She just can't have another failed placement adding to her sense of rejection.

She went to hydro today and had a good session. Today's physio was less bells and whistles game playing fun machine, and more focused on getting DD1's movements right in the water, but she enjoyed it and felt satisfied that she'd worked hard.

DD3 is back on her ADHD meds and it's helping. It took a lot to persuade her, but she's seeing the impact. I still can't get a meds review from CAMHS. I need to chase it and perhaps go down the formal complaint route. The shared care agreement states she will be reviewed every 6 months, and the first review was due in January. She needs either a dose change or drug change because she metabolises the Dex too quickly and then crashes.

@roaringdragon @Lougle

Thanks, so do I! Now chosen 3 A levels. Was going to do a Btech course originally.

DC wasn’t impressed with anything other than the inset days announcement tbh. The food’s rubbish. The timetabling is rubbish, with a double ‘free’ period today (study period is my view but I didn’t say it 🤐). They’ve been told 95% attendance is required to succeed and homework’s been set already x 3 subjects. It’s a massive change and a huge step up. Hopefully things will settle down but I currently feel a bit dazed. DC is very tired too as it’s more travel which isn’t ideal.

Glad to hear your College experience is positive Lougle. Hopefully ours improves.

Well done @Fififizz . Squeaky wheels! What is your DS studying? I have to say that DD2's college is really doing their best so far.

Evening all. I’ve had a small win today. School have confirmed that it is their responsibility to provide tech support and the tech has been located and will be made available. I did tell them this and it’s in the EHCP but no matter. Hopefully it’s happening.

DC isn’t impressed with College. Early days though. The only positive mentioned was it closes for additional training days in October. Let’s hope it gets better as there’s currently no plan B.

You all give so much by being here. Just reading your posts makes me feel less alone in this bizarre SEN parenting world where nothing seems straightforward or works quite like it should.

I managed to send 7 e mails chasing up DC tech support before 8.30 am this morning. 🤦‍♀️

I think he’s really just looking for something to hang his emotions on. It’s conflicting he can’t take. His level is muppets, scooby doo, Disney and primary school stuff really. The problem is many of those sort of shows have a falling out or a character that is unkind and he just can’t cope. His emotions are always high with too much empathy, but this is on a different scale.

@Zzzzzs you offer bags of support. DD1 also can't cope with fictional TV. I spent hours repeating "he lays on the floor with the tomato sauce, now he gets to go and have a cup of tea and a sandwich", because my DPs watch Poirot, etc., when she's there.

My two really like films, DD likes gory and DS will now just do a word search if the plot is boring him but DD love of films was tricky with a couple of her best friends (one has ASD) as they didn't cope with even "mild peril" as she couldn't understand why they didn't like what she liked.

@Violasilkie it is 0 hours but I don't think she's in the right place to take it on right now. School restarting will take a lot of emotional energy.

@Zzzzzs you offer bags of support. DD1 also can't cope with fictional TV. I spent hours repeating "he lays on the floor with the tomato sauce, now he gets to go and have a cup of tea and a sandwich", because my DPs watch Poirot, etc., when she's there. Now she says "It's just fake. They're just pretending to be shot." I'm not sure she quite believes it though! We couldn't even put animations on when she was young because she couldn't cope with the bassy music when there was mild threat.

@Lougle NOTHING surprises me about accessing meds any more. It is always tedious a requires a level of scrutiny from me that makes me wonder how on earth those without a mum/family manage at all. Dd2 news made me cry. What a fabulous young person she is.

@roaringdragon you do give back so much. I feel a similar need to help though my skillset is less useful and more basic. There were nights long ago when the light from my phone with firm and gentle words were all there was. It still surprises me because I am not a sharer in RL and nor am I a chat room person. And yet here I am.

@PurringTiger abroad with books??? You superstar.

I’m feeling a bit worried about ds. He’s not himself at all. We were supposed to go to opticians today and I rescheduled because he’d been crying and upset and I realised I wasn’t sure he would manage at all. He can’t cope with any tension/bickering/being grumpy and it’s getting worse. He doesn’t understand that tv shows are “pretend” so now he is getting het up whenever any of them are unkind to each other or fall out. It can take hours to reassure him.

Hope you have a nice couple of days away @JumpersFluffy Spa was lovely thanks and discussed lots of plans with DH and came up with more ideas. Shed is ordered and will arrive end of October.

Is it a zero hours contract @Lougle or a normal one? The zero hours one you can normally just ask for as few shifts as you like and just try one if that helps. Sometimes trying a job for a day can be useful even if it just shows you how awful the job is.

The plumber turned up today, we had just phoned and left a message and weren't expecting a visit so not especially prepared but he lives close. He looked at the laundry room and said he can move washing machine and drier though said will be about £800 and also he raised an electrics issue of current socket being at worktop height. So this looks like its going to not be the cheap job I planned but DH still wants to go ahead. The trouble is the layout DH and the guy suggested you wouldn't be able to open the washing machine.😂So I am trying to work out a new solution but am not a plumbing expert but do know we need to be able to open both the washing machine and the drier and the direction doors open in. The plumber wanted them as close as possible to the drain which makes sense but is quite challenging but think I may have a solution. Need to get electrician round as well now but he comes at the speed of light and is pricey so want to make sure everything is ready first and we collect all electrics jobs. DH and I were talking yesterday and decided we may well add electrics and insulation to the summerhouse. I also thought yesterday how DS used to love jacuzzis and how he would love a jacuzzi bath. I'd have to clean it regularly though. He definitely is not a maid!

I'm so bored of people not doing their jobs. The psychiatrist mucked up the prescription again. Luckily, it's salvageable so the pharmacist could annotate it and issue the drugs.

The GP surgery have also issued a drug for DD1 that I can't give until she's weaned off another drug and they've given no weaning schedule. They're closed today for training, but bizarrely my favourite GP was outside, covered in mud, dealing with planters. He says he's duty GP tomorrow so if I do a rapid health in the morning, he'll sort it.

Where DD1 lives now, she can do work experience - on the farm, in the shop or cafe, the dog grooming parlour, the gardening company, the print shop….

Unfortunately, imo because she speaks in sentences, people assume her comprehension is fine and it’s not! She complains they bombard her with language and she can’t cope! She gives up.

She does put the bins out for her house, and she’s supposed to do her own laundry and clean her bedroom, but as she’s said to me

”I am not a maid!”

@drspouse that's incredibly sad about the boy who died. Especially in a special school, people not only lose their child but the support network that has framed their lives.

Re. Work experience, I phoned every farm in the area until I finally found one who would consider it.

DD3 got a reply from the care agency to say that they can offer weekend training but she's responded to say that I've asked her to prioritise her studies.

DD2 has finished her first week of college. They've confirmed that she doesn't have to do English or maths.

@Violasilkie hope the shed plans are progressing & spa went ok.

@drspouse is DS into outdoor gardening things at all like volunteering with a local wildlife trust as “work experience” or a parkrun volunteer if setting up full work experience is challenging? Also several options available online now as they were set up during covid.

I was going to reply to a few but I’m still at the struggling to keep the new user names straight in my head.

Glad @Lougle that college has gone ok this week. We’ve not back till next week here.

@roaringdragon good to hear DS1 is feeling bit better with the fluids & antibiotics.

welcome @Fififizz i too have a 15yr with a EOTAS package but whom we are going to attempt next year for post16 a ms college if we can get support in place.

@PurringTiger hope you enjoy the break away with no post trip repercussions.

Just popping on to hold space as having a last minute couple of days away before the education treadmill ramps up. I did get DD2 to do a small amount of online maths this morning to refresh as she’s taking two exams in the Nov sitting if the anxiety can be managed. The last couple of years we’ve had a few days away in the same place before education kicks in again and it’s strangely helped the transition back in again rather than her sitting at home getting more and more anxious about the restart.
DD19 is going on her first solo holiday with a friend at the weekend to a Spanish island. So I’m trying to be chilled about it whilst thinking arrjjjjhh inside. She’s very responsible independent young lady but I worry about the kind of men they may meet & being spiked by drugs despite not really being a drinker at all as she trains so hard in her sport. DD2 had a giggle over the tiny bikini being packed. But she has picked a family resort with lots of sports not a night clubbing area which also made me smile.