The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

@Violasilkie

Thank you.

Glad to hear DS is being receptive to the renovation works. You are doing a fantastic job.

@roaringdragon

Yes, drop to two subjects. DC looked into other courses but nothing appeals plus it’s late to change. End of last week was the supposed deadline although College was late enrolling then late, late, enrolling, so it got a bit confusing. Tbh DC seems happy and therefore so am I. If anything DC fancied was available next year they can pick up another subject possibly then. I think for now 2 is enough and we intend to support with tutoring too ourselves.

Sorry the swimming with DS1 wasn’t the experience you’d hoped for. It highlights the importance of routine but sometimes it would be nice if that wasn’t so necessary. I’m discovering I’m very much a creature of routine and get overwhelmed easily now. I think it’s an age/menopause thing.

@drspouse

I hope you can keep on getting to the gym and doing things that support you right now. I found the gym really helped me regulate. It’s gone to pot currently but hoping I will get into a routine and fit it back in again. Sorry to hear about the contracts but it seems like now isn’t the right time for those. Take good care of yourself.

@Lougle

Glad the RDA session went well. You know what’s available and DD1 is more familiar should there come a time when you can fit it in.

So sorry DD2 is struggling so much with pain and feeling miserable. I hope she’s soon feeling better. I’m glad the SEN lead was kind to her and sympathetic.

@LathkillDale
Thank you for your positive wishes.

@drspouse I hope you are bearing up? It’s hard to work while grief is still so raw. It always seems strange to me, that the most closely bereaved are the ones, who have all the hard work of arranging the funeral, getting probate and clearing the house at the time of maximum grief? (Not that I can see who else would do it)

@roaringdragon ITA with pp, swimming probably did DS good and helped his sleep?

@Lougle - I hope you get to the bottom of DD’s pain eventually. As you know, codeine seems so addictive (and constipating), imo it’s best avoided if possible.

As for those of you, with problems with education settings; best wishes that you’ll be able to sort something out.🥺

@roaringdragon I'm sure he benefited from it but it's a bit dispiriting when it's all so hard, isn't it?

RDA was...not really what I expected. It was a 30 minute assessment but only lasted 15 minutes. They just wanted to see that DD1 could mount and dismount unaided. She struggled but just about managed. I had to intervene and ask the instructor to use 'First, then' with DD1, so that she did things step by step because she was trying to guess what to do without listening, which is a bit dangerous.

The setup isn't what I expected, either. They only do RDA sessions in groups on a Sunday. But RDA riders can book private lessons through the week. It's £41 for a half hour private lesson, which is probably about average but it's a lot for DD1 to commit to. I'm not sure I want her to start it because we couldn't keep it up on a regular basis and she seems to be doing well with things that happen every week at a set time.

The college SEN lead was very kind to DD2 and reassured her that they understand she's unwell and wants to be there. Today the diclofenac didn't overcome the pain. However, the pain got much worse after taking cocodamol, so I'm wondering if she's having bile duct spasm/sphincter of oddi dysfunction. We're going to avoid codeine. It's all a bit miserable for her.

I am very much trying to. I did not get the contracts I put in for and in some ways I'm glad because it means less admin.
I was supposed to be working all day today but the morning was mainly checking email and going to the gym. I am actually finding the gym quite good for my mood. But I did get stuck into some spreadsheets this afternoon.
I'm not sure we're going to go for Skylight but I made a reusable tick chart for both DC and DD seems pleased.

Sorry things have been difficult @Lougle

Hope you are OK @drspouse

Hope you can find a good solution @Fififizz

Sorry swimming was harder @roaringdragon

Got bath panel delivered today, jacuzzi bath isn't due for 4 weeks but was sent separately and its here and fine. We got new paint, varnish and jif and then DH started planning tiles in the laundry room and I deep cleaned DSs bathroom again and started painting the walls white. DS had left his bathroom wide open again so seems to want me to do work on it.

@drspouse

I hope you’re taking really good care of yourself and taking things as steadily as you can.

@Lougle

Sounds like you’re carrying a lot. And that’s a lot of time driving. I hope the assessment for DD1 went well and that they get the bloods done tomorrow. I have to have a draw bi monthly and it’s a pain when they can’t get it.
Sorry DD2 struggled at College. It’s a difficult time. My DC is thinking about dropping one subject and I’m chill about it. It’s all been a bit much and full on so I empathise with you.

Big hugs for you @Lougle
I am currently trying to do some work but keep being interrupted by DH telling me "did you know your DM had yet another investment... ISA... insurance policy".

Today is draining. They couldn't bleed DD1 this morning so I'm taking her up to the hospital phlebotomy department tomorrow morning. I need to speak to DD3's tutor but there's no network and the WhatsApp calls are patchy. DD2 struggled at college, wasn't able to tell the LSA, who was chatting to other LSAs at lunchtime, and so I had to spend 10 minutes convincing her to let me speak to the LSA. She decided she had go home.

This afternoon I have to go back out to the area of DD2's college to take DD1 for an RDA assessment. 3 hours driving today. Not fun.

@Lougle

Thank you. I hadn’t thought of it like that but you’re right. Hopefully better to have the issues at the outset. DC masks outside then catastrophes to me so it becomes a bigger problem trying to talk them down as well as unpicking the issues. I can’t imagine College hasn’t dealt with course changes lots of times before so hopefully it’ll be sorted out.

I’m sorry you’re in the thick of it too. I’m glad the meds arrived for DD2 and are helping. I fo hope the pain resolves and she’s feeling better very soon.

Glad you got DD1 blood tests sorted so quickly. All these little things build up and add to the load.

I’m sorry DD3 is struggling with changes to her timetable and class situation. It’s a hard time of year with all these changes.

@roaringdragon Thanks for the advice, on behalf of a friend’s DGS. Like so often, it’s all a big mess!

@Fififizz I'm sorry things are so hard. I suppose it's better that issues start now because it's easier to resolve than later on, but how stressful!

It's been stressful here. DD2 has been in tears with pain, but the Diclofenac came in at lunchtime so she's had that and it's helped a bit.

DD1's blood test was booked for tomorrow lunch time but the psychiatrist forgot to mention that she'd added fasting bloods. Luckily the LD nurse mentioned it when she phoned me today, so I had to phone the surgery to see if they could change the appointment. They happened to have an 8.40 free, so that saves me a trip to the hospital phleb department.

DD3 is struggling with the change to the school day. They've introduced tutor time and one of the people she's with is quite tricky for her to spend time with.

Thanks @Fififizz

Got the oak worktop - we went to call plumber to arrange for them in next week but they are on holiday until mid next week but can work round that. Bath panel is apparently being delivered tomorrow. We went to do more downstairs but DS was staying there so this time we went to do the garden which was fine as nice to go outside and got to clean silkies (though that started a massive silkie wing fight as one wanted her bit done first and went into another one's area), cleared the leaves and planted the remaining bulbs and also the old baby gate was cut up to go out for collection.

@roaringdragon

Ok, thanks. That’s very helpful and gives me some ideas. Hopefully I have some leverage not wanting DC to become a NEET if it all falls through too. Oh gosh, that’s a really long way off!

@roaringdragon

Difficulty with changing provision now though is needing an ER and courses have already begun and if I had to appeal to get additional provision in the plan we’d likely be well into 2027. It’s useful you flagging ideas though. PfA is being delivered already by the hybrid model of school and College. School receives all the £££££ funding from LA for the EHCP and for delivery of all the provision and they outsource the formal curriculum teaching to College only and pay them for that part. School delivers PfA on the school day and supports independent study. I need to see what’s suggested tomorrow. In theory it should be possible to switch courses but to what I’m not sure. If no joy there I’ll mull it over and your suggestions. Thanks

@roaringdragon

Thanks for this. DC has a plan to speak to people tomorrow about his options. I wouldn’t mind the 2 ‘A’ levels. I’m not sure if that fits with the College offer or school model which is 4 days in College one day in school and a buy in to a FT Post 16 ed as the basis for the the LA funding. I don’t think DC can do an extra day in school for staffing reasons and thus far DC has struggled to do any kind of school work at home. I’m definitely not opposed to just taking 2 subjects though.

@Violasilkie

Thank you. I believe they can change provided there’s space and the timetable allows. I’m hoping there’s a solution too, otherwise things aren’t looking great. I’m finding it all so difficult. The previous situation was exhausting trying to plus the gaps and make it work, now it’s a new situation all over and new gaps and I’m struggling as there’s only so much support I can give.

You are being very productive and making great headway with all of your renovation plans. It really sounds like it’s all coming together nicely.

Thanks @RavenLaw Hope year 7 is going well.

Thanks @Lougle So sorry about DD2. I hope the doctors can make her better soon and that doesn't mean more hospital trips.

Thanks @Fififizz Hope there's a solution. When DD did A levels you could change subjects first two weeks but not after but will vary by school.

DH is just on his way back with the oak worktop which has the radius circle cut out for one corner for water metre though we will need to oil / varnish it cut side to match wall, put supports in and cut tap holes but will do that after tiling in there. We also have a second bit of worktop which we need to cut to size.

Do you have a local parent carer forum or carers’ group?

Our local parent carer forum gets well known education solicitors or barristers to give a workshop to parents sometimes.

There’s a monthly meeting for carers in my town; and the county wide organisation arranges for someone to come and give a talk every other month. Obviously, some talks will be irrelevant, because they are about caring for dementia or whatever; but underneath it all, carers have the same problems with social isolation, stress, dealing with endless bureaucracy; whatever their age or the conditions they deal with.

One of the local condition specific charities also runs parenting courses.

They are all good ways to meet up with other parents of children with SEN, who are the people most likely to get, what you are talking about!

There are some online forums - sometimes condition specific. Some of the best advice, I’ve been given on DD1’s epilepsy in the early days, when I knew nothing about it, came from parents on epilepsy forums.

I also joined all the national charities, relevant to DDs, such as Afasic, the Dyspraxia Foundation, Mencap, Rethink, Epilepsy Action, The Epilepsy Society, Metabolic Support UK and looked out for their national conferences, workshops, etc and those by IPSEA and SOS!SEN to educate myself. Some have free helplines.

@RavenLaw yes the LA sent their EP and she provided an extremely sanitised report which missed a lot of the context, her burnout and the reasons she was unable to be at school. So we got our own EP. Looked at section K and our independent reports (we got OT too) just aren't there. So we will do that to ensure schools have the full picture.