The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

Glad you have it @roaringdragon . Friday afternoon is a favourite, isn't it?

I'm confused. The SW has just phoned for an update about how DD1 is doing because they're going to discuss putting DD1 on the waiting list I thought she'd been on for the last few weeks.

Similarly, I've just had a phone call to book a telephone appointment to decide if DD2 needs surgery, but I pointed out that she'd been discharged from hospital with a plan to operate in 4-6 weeks, so they've decided that perhaps she doesn't need the appointment. I think this phone call appointment was the result of her A&E/SAU visit earlier in the month, and of course she's since had a hospital admission and nobody has joined the dots.

A staff member called me after school had ended to say that DD3 was running late because there had been a 'minor bump with a car'. It turned out that the minor bump was with two cars unrelated to theirs, that they were simply in a queue of resulting traffic and that DD1 was in a staff car, not her own. I think that leading with the fact that she was stuck in traffic would have been a slightly less alarming approach!

I don’t think you were mean. Sometimes, we parents have to look after ourselves, so we have some energy for the next crisis. There’s nothing wrong with DC, seeing we are only human and not superhuman?

@roaringdragon - better late than never! Maybe SEN officers only work Friday afternoons!

Thanks everyone. Wasn't sure if the electrics would have had improvements in the night from DS who at least is great with safety awareness but made lots of alterations to hospitals electrics and took our boiler apart before and has disconnected lights before and we noticed a chair had moved.

Thankfully all electrics are intact and working. DS was going in and out of living room and all downstairs and to garden until about 1.30am and when going to garden was noisy with our back door every 10 minutes or so. At about 1.20am I think a man may have banged the house front and said three words couldn't make out what but would guess wanting DS to be quieter. Man appeared calm but we have never had that before so not sure who it was but wondering if it might be our new neighbour opposite (affair man) though wouldn't have thought he could hear. Everyone else knows about DS and DS makes very little noise normally, it was windy. Though maybe I imagined it but I was awake.

DS though as the washing machine plug socket has had to move to be out of the bathroom, rather than use the extension lead, had moved the washing machine which had knocked the pipework over so DH has just sorted that. I did think that might happen but it was late when they finished. I have messaged the plumber and he said he's coming round for a look on Monday and hope he can do work soon after. We have to be careful to just have short bursts of work as DS goes in the garden - he takes food and drink and its 23C or so but he doesn't come upstairs for the toilet. He wants his toilet. That's one reason we are doing as much as possible ourselves so can do it in about 3 or 4 hours at a time. I hope plumbing won't be an all day job but we will see. Though this plumber knows DS well and is excellent with him, he's one who fixed the boiler and did the kitchen.

I've had a response to say that as far as they can see, the award of Limited capability for work and work-related activity (LCWRA) is correct and that they assume DD2's ESA claim was credits only because of her age. It somewhat missed my point but I'm going to leave it there. They can't say I didn't try!

Thanks so much @roaringdragon and @Fififizz lots to play with there. I think our bowling must be really expensive as several of those are accessible to us and cheaper than bowling! Unfortunately the PA is only there for 90 mins and comes straight after school and then has another child. DS really wants to see the new Shaun the Sheep film but this afternoon's showing is too late for the PA.
We'd love the PA to take him to other things he has scheduled regularly e.g. music lesson but the PA is only available at those times. I think he does work longer hours in the daytime for YA or EOTAS kids though.

That sounds so frustrating for you both @JumpersFluffy . Can you be strategic in any way and say 'ignore such and such question?' If she can scrape a 4 without the long questions it might work?

Reading along trying to catch up but mentally really tired this week, nearly cried at my mgr on a video call. Im struggling with a clash with someone in my wider team who just grates on me due to a very different communication style that when I’m tired I can’t buffer.. they just talk AT me constantly for an hour at a time & I just want to shout ‘Shut Up’ instead I make my excuses and disconnected the call. My tolerance for others waffle at work is definitely dropping more and more the older i get.
DD2s anxiety is high as she just can’t answer the exam questions on a science paper. It’s really frustrating as we’ve covered all the content & the mini quizzes went well, but with only 6-7weeks to go is struggling to even pass the practice science papers sadly. We’ve already delayed the exam once I just hope a bit of hyper focus can kick in & she can do enough to scrape a pass. I’m trying get her to take some responsibility for revision skills after trying lots different ways but she just can’t do it gets into anxious spiral & blocks/ shouts at me sadly. She’s acing the maths practice papers though so I was hoping that would give her confidence but it’s not working for science.

@roaringdragon if you do ask, please share the email you get in response!

DD2 came through to tell me she feels 'off'. After much talking, she realised that the feeling has arisen because she's had a good day "and it doesn't feel right that nothing went wrong", plus still adjusting to being out of hospital. I'm a mean mother so I told her to be gone, that the shutters are down, and that I spend enough time talking things through when they've gone wrong, so I'm not spending the evening commiserating with her that she's had a good day!

@drspouse

In no particular order DC has been into climbing/climbing wall, war-hammer painting and gaming, pool/snooker, boxing, biking. Not sure if any of those are doable or might appeal to DS.

@roaringdragon
Thank you. I’ll look into ESA, was totally unaware of it and haven’t heard of it before.

I hope you can get the insurance resolved or fly under their radar instead.

It shows that those who genuinely get it can make such a huge difference to our lived experiences with the small things that they do. It’s a pity LA’s and others who are supposed to get it can’t operate in a similar fashion but we all know that all they seem to care about is their budget.

@Lougle I did, plus a nice breakfast for me tomorrow!
DH is going to my mum's tomorrow to oversee a valuation so I'll be lone parenting (but it's not that arduous as they are both in school and it's my day off). But I'll have to get up early to see DD off and take DS in.

Do any of you have any bright ideas for DS and his PA? PA won't swim, we would like DS to try the gym but he's not that keen. DS likes bowling but it's expensive. They used to just watch TV or play on his console but now we are trying to get screen time down, and Friday is our movie night plus it's a PA day. Tuesday is the other PA day but DS is happy to chill/draw/make paper airplanes in the evening as the PA is a good gaming partner and he gets it out of his system.

@drspouse get all the snacks!

@Fififizz GPs are a mixed bag. We have a couple that we tend to see for DD1. DD2 saw a GP last week who is very experienced, very well meaning, but insists that it's better for DD2 to speak directly to her. Last week DD2 just sighed, took a deep breath and said 'can you just talk to my Mum? I'm just so tired.', and she relented after giving her a lecture on why it's better for her to speak and that she must correct me if I'm wrong. Afterwards, she said "that lady has a very intense stare and she's quite intimidating."

@Violasilkie well done for getting everything finished.

@roaringdragon get back in your box. 69 hours short. Shame on you.

@PurringTiger I'm glad the laptop lid opened! Small steps.

Today has been hard for DD1. She's been feeling quite wobbly and struggled at hydro today, asking for the session to end early. She found it too hard to open the car door (she struggles due to it sliding and the incline of the drive, but can normally manage) and later lost her balance and hit her head quite hard on the door. She's been very distressed with tummy pain again today and asking to go to hospital.

However, after my long detailed email to the day centre last week, with no response, I got a response today. It was very thoughtful and as I read it I thought they'd be turning DD1 down (so often 'she sounds wonderful' is followed by 'no'), but he asked some follow up questions and invited us to visit.

DD2 continues to amaze at college. Yesterday the TA who had mucked up last week was much more considerate. Today, DD1 had 1:2 support, plus another 2 students being kept an eye on, but she was fine with it. She sat next to a girl in class who she had chatted with yesterday, and spent lunchtime with that girl and another girl. She said it felt a bit weird, but it was ok! I'll take that.

DD3 is exhausted. School are managing it well.

@Violasilkie

Thank you! I’m glad your renovations are coming along well and your got the electrical work all done even if it took longer than anticipated.

@drspouse

I’m glad things are better for you today and that you can hopefully ignore most of DD’s behaviour. Sometimes that’s the best course of action to take.

Much better day today. DD still giving everyone grief but am trying to ignore. DS at Explorers and I've left him there for a bit. They are all going to Aldi and I wanted to get some snacks so I'm going to a different supermarket by a different route!

Pub even! 🤣

Sending you hugs back @Fizzfizz I hope college settles down.

Glad DD2 is improving @Lougle.

Hope return to study goes well @PurringTiger

Sorry it was difficult @drspouse

Had 2 electricians in all day today and they got everything they needed to do done and DS allowed access to his bathroom. So we have boiler switch moved and plug waterproofed, all bathroom sockets moved to cupboard, 2 new lights and switches in bathroom, laundry room old plug moved for tumble drier, new plus for washing machine, light in laundry room, light in upstairs bathroom and socket fixed upstairs. They will send a quote for jacuzzi bath. DS kept coming to see whether they were finished but he was very good and didn't disrupt their access all day. I have explained to him what they have done and why, the boiler switch had to go above the boiler and they've done fancy things with lights in there which I am not sure how DS will react to. But I've explained why and where everything is now. It was much longer than I expected to do the work and think much longer than DS expected so I hope he will cooperate with the plumber. Not got plumber arranged yet though one is at least back from holiday now. We need to put skirting up and install worktop, cut to size, get sink, taps and support and support for bathroom floating worktop or take down.

The vineyard on Saturday cancelled the volunteer day but am quite glad as doing a lot of physical work at the moment and would prefer to do work here, garden, go out for day or rest.

@LathkillDale

Thank you.

I find it validating and affirming when others instinctively ‘get it’. And a comfort too. It’s why the Pun is so helpful.

I’m not sure this GP gets me well. It’s an online short appointment but when I asked her about the patients she sees and how she feels life is generally for people as a baseline or whether it’s more me that doesn’t cope well, she reaffirmed she doesn’t know my personal circumstances. But she did say that modern life is very odd and as humans we just haven’t adapted at the pace everything else has.

We require basics like sunshine, downtime, solid nutrition, sleep, connection with life via others, passions/interests etc. She did say that’s why she feels there’s a big spike in ND as life is so different now from what humans require/were designed for. I’ve hinted to her at my possibly being ND although it could be burnout, menopause, CPTSD or a combo of all. I have no idea and no capacity to find out. I do think my autoimmune issues stem from ongoing stress though and unfortunately this feeds into being generally less resilient to life stuff too.

My GP was her mother’s carer for 10 years, and worked part time. (DM had a serious, very dependent medical condition.) My GP gets it, about what carers go through.

Just hopping on to send hugs or honks to those who need them. I include myself in that category.

So much happening in the Pub, a lot of acronyms, that hurt my brain.

Sorry to everyone dealing with difficulties such as ongoing health struggles of DC and behaviours and never end bureaucracy and stuff.

I’m not sure how College is going for DC. I still feel it’s early very days. The subject reduction helps a bit but it all still feels overwhelming. I had my thyroid appointment with the GP and ended up asking her if I was going mad. It’s hard to explain this parallel universe to those who have children who are able to just go to school and proceed through the education system. You just adapt and don’t realise the huge amounts of scaffolding, adaptations etc that you provide.

Talk of pensions makes me realise I’ll be 60 soon and a big part of me feels I haven’t really lived a big chunk of my life. I’m somehow only just surviving it!

@roaringdragon I can just imagine a few people sitting in a room with their mocha lattes, discussing potential changes "Well if they needed lots of carers they probably live in a care home." "Not all of them though?" "Mmm, yes, perhaps we could add a clause to say that if they have paid carers 24/7, they can keep the policy." "What about the ones who don't have 24/7 care but still need carers whenever they go out?" "Ok, we'll add a clause for them. Let's say if they have a WAV they're in..."

It's so stupid. Shortsighted. Is it worth highlighting it somehow? It must be an oversight.

@roaringdragon is the car not a WAV? They can make exceptions. DD3 was going to need a business use policy, and although 'computer says no', they agreed it was stupid and allowed it.