The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

🤣 @roaringdragon I know it is AWESOME progress. (Though breakfast is two bowls of cereal so not desperately challenging). He can also make chocolate spread on toast for himself for a snack….we are so cool and teen-ish now.

I do find it so hard when normal goals are not attainable not to feel I am letting him down by accepting we can’t iykwim? How do I not have this worked out by now?

Glad you have escaped @Lougle though shame they couldn't do the operation straightaway or sooner. I hope DD2 can get through to surgery without being in pain.

DH has been at his old work today and got back late last night and left early this morning. He did have an interesting day and met one person who said to send his CV from another company. DH hasn't applied for anything and seems happy enough retired and I have projects he can help.

Plumber has come back with a quote and we have paid the deposit, its currently Friday or Monday so pushed back a day. But that's good as DH bit is nowhere near ready. Hopefully can get everything ready tomorrow.

We've escaped. I pointed out that they weren't doing anything for DD2 now. Nothing was documented but luckily the ward Sister had overheard the Consultant say that if she was stable DD2 would be able to go home at some point. So she twisted the junior Dr's arm to phone the Consultant at home and confirm discharge.

AI can provide low fat baking recipes for DD, although I guess it depends how low fat her diet must be?

A few weeks ago, I inputted the contents of my fridge, freezer and store cupboards to make it easier for AI to create the menu plan for DD1 coming home. I was astonished when it told me, I had quite a few baking ingredients (true) and here were a few low fat recipes for me to make!

So last week, I made DD1 a banana and oat loaf - it had no fat or sugar, except for an egg and some milk. The bananas provided the sweetness and moisture, you’d get from fat. It was quite nice, although it started to go mouldy after a week, with not having any sugar!

I also made her low fat cheese scones, because she loves those. They had cottage cheese and Parmesan instead of cheddar, and there was less lard in them, iirc! Snacks with a reasonable amount of protein always come in handy for her. She’s eaten chicken/lamb/beef/pork all her life, and one day she’ll refuse to eat it!

That's a glimmer of light @Zzzzzs .

Plan is to see how eating and drinking goes, discharge but unclear when. Low fat diet but the nurses insisted that biscuits were low fat when I asked for something that she could eat (she hasn't eaten much since Monday), so I sense a knowledge gap! Surgery is scheduled for 26/10 so we just have to try and keep her stable until then.

Oh that’s hard @Lougle poor little gosling. What’s the plan going forward?

We are all tired and a bit crotchety here. I can’t wait till my dd2 can drive herself around. I’ve suddenly realised since ds has learned to make his own breakfast there’s a possibility I might get a lie in if everyone can get themselves to work….test not for months yet though.

Thanks for the honks @Zzzzzs . I bought DD1 chocolate milkshake on Monday. Survival is victory in our world, I reckon.

They were getting her ready for theatre but then the GI surgeon came and said no surgery today because it's too risky given recent cholecystitis. It's more likely that they'd fail keyhole and have to open her up, and more likely that they'd damage her bile ducts. She's very upset.

All the honks @Lougle what a ghastly day. I don’t like the sound of the temperature that doesn’t register. Hopefully they take it again. You must be so tired but the caring doesn’t stop to give you a break does it? I’m thinking of you.

Here a very tiring noisy day. Ds is quite stressed. I’m afraid I just bought Lego and chocolate. Not sure if it was poor parenting or survival. I have to go back for yet more CT scans. Feeling a bit run down so perhaps a good thing but it feels like never ending dr related nonsense. Good news pharmacy has finally got ds’s prescription so last step in sight.

Its cold here! Actually may have to turn the heating on!

Well, helpful in that the SW thought DD1 might be able to live somewhere where she might just ask for help if she needs it and we've told her that's not the situation at all.

DD2 feels warm to touch, looks flushed, feels hot, but they've stuck a probe under her tongue and they say that she's only 36.5... I'm doubtful, tbh., but I'll let it go. The IV fluids have brought her heart rate down.

Sorry you are back at hospital with DD2 @Lougle Glad your DHs work is kind.

What a day. DD3's school family liaison worker phoned from 10-11am, I had a meeting with the SW and Psychologist from 11am-12pm to discuss care planning for DD1, DPs dropped in from 12pm-12.30pm, the LD phoned to book in a psych review at just before 1pm, a school teacher phoned about DD3 from 1pm-1.30pm, then DD2 was feeling poorly with a fever and tachycardia, so we had to come to A&E at 2.30pm. Now in SAU, IV antibiotics in and waiting to transfer to the ward. Annoyingly, I phoned the GP surgery to try and circumvent A&E to go directly to SAU, but the GP sent a message to go to A&E who would transfer us. I thought that meant they had referred to SAU, but they hadn't, so we had to sit in majors for a couple of hours until the doctor could see us and phone SAU.

I'm tired. At least DH's new work are a good bunch and they've said he can stay home to look after DD1 tomorrow. I was annoyed at the SW because despite me telling her that the care package had failed, she showed us an email today to say that we were struggling 'despite the care package being in place'. I set her straight that I have DD1 24/7.

Good job you did phone @Lougle

DH is apparently going to his old work tonight for a meal, and tomorrow he's there all day giving a talk. So having to do as much as we can today as plumber is coming on Thursday or Friday, date tbc.

Just cleared bathroom cupboard, dust all over it from electricians and cleared all out and painted it so that is done and bathroom all painted now, at least the first coat and its thick. DH did more skirting board. DS had left room open like he wanted me to do work but then at 1.40pm he was trying to get back in so we stopped. Will do more this afternoon and then hope to finish off after his conference tomorrow.

DS had taken the walking light switch and had taken it out of its packet and appeared to be using it.

We just used a high street firm of solicitors, who listed trusts among their specialties. We have left DDTs for DD1 and DD2, and the surviving spouse gets to live in the house (or they can move to any other), during their lifetime. We are already tenants in common. Hopefully, it’s relatively straightforward? Assuming, we don’t use up DH’s SIPP by living 30 years, there would be a few million for DC.

@Zzzzzs November is National Wills Month. You'll find lots of charities will offer discounted wills packages. We did ours using one of those, so ended up paying about £160 to include a Disabled Discretionary Trust. Basically, DH and I have life insurance. If he dies, I get it and vice versa. If we both die, the girls split it, but our original will put DD1 & DD2's shares into DDTs, which means they they don't have it counted as assets because someone else controls what they get and when they get it. Our updated will includes DD3 in the DDT but we haven't had it witnessed yet, must do that.

By using a DDT, it allows the girls to continue to get Universal Credit and for DD1 not to have to pay for care from her inheritance, if there is one.

Tbh, it may all be irrelevant because the life insurance stops at around retirement age, at which point there would be no inheritance anyway. I'm hoping that neither of us die young enough that anyone should inherit.

Well isn’t it a good thing you phoned @Lougle !!! Ds’s meds are supposed to be on their way (again) so maybe I can relax for a month when they are here. Builders were delayed by a day so we moved cars late at night and got up at crack of dawn for nothing. Ds lost his cool with all the change. Heartbreaking to see but probably to be expected.
Poor teaching is a common and I was very struck by a nursery teacher long ago telling me that we all have to learn how to cope with teachers we don’t gel with or who pitch too high or low or with classmates who are not as engaged as we are etc etc. recognising others deficits is fine but we can only really control our own response to them.

I’ve been thinking about wills. This winter is when we are planning to really focus on it all as what we have in place is very old and generic (shamefully I don’t even remember the detail myself). People keep telling me I need an expert who deals with a lot of people with children who will remain dependent. Is that your experience? How on earth do I find such a person? I should probably add there are no millions involved!

I have just done a session on using a dictionary with DS. We did it together for his Cub book lover badge about 6 years ago but apparently nobody has thought to show him one since. Why does he go to school again?

DD2 asked me to phone the surgical team to find out when she'd have her op today. I said I couldn't really do that, but I could phone and ask if they have a short notice list that she could be added to. It's a good job I did phone, because she's not even on the list. They had received the email from the team saying she needed surgery, but it was buried in the inbox because staff had been on leave, but apparently they also should have completed a form to request the surgery too, which they haven't. She can't be added to the list until that's done. The lady was very nice and I explained that DD2 had already had quite a lot of time off, so although it was ridiculous to ask, if it could be timed for half-term, that would be amazing. She said that she might be able to schedule her for October 26th and to leave it with her while she chases the team up.

DD2 is getting frustrated with her course. On Mondays she only has one lesson, and the teacher uses AI to produce the workbook, so it has a lot of errors and being level 1, it's really basic. The teacher also makes them go through the workbook in a class group, and intersperses activities that aren't in the workbook, which DD2 sees as time fillers. None of the students answer any questions but DD2 says there's no point in her answering the questions because they're so basic. One boy does answer questions but deliberately gives wrong answers in an attempt to be funny. It's not easy. She largely enjoys the other 3 days though.

DD1 has been invited to look around a day service on Wednesday. Her psychologist recommended it, and they haven't been put off by my warts and all summary of her, so I'm hoping it might be good.

DD3 is really tired. Hopefully she'll rest well tonight.

That's great re the kayaking @Lougle for your DDs and sounds like amazing staff.

DH went out and got more things we need for bathroom and laundry room though I got a message from him at the shop do we need slotted or unslotted waste so I told him unslotted as no overflow but not sure why he thinks I know. I did know but only as I've looked it up.

Then plumber we use for boiler phoned to say was coming over in 15/20 minutes to assess and quote and we told DS who was in the bathroom at the time. DS did then get out of the bathroom and everything was available for the plumber to assess and quote. He says he's available on Thursday or Friday to do the work and we also told him about the bath plan and seemed OK with that too. He left then I cleaned the downstairs bathroom again and did more painting in the cupboard. DH was supposed to be doing skirting board but didn't get any done just seemed to be on his phone. DH has now gone to piano and says he's doing skirting board after though not convinced as he won't be back until after 7pm then we will eat. We have 2 days to get things done pre plumber. I'm definitely on track with the bathroom. DH is a perfectionist so I am not sure he will have done the laundry room but its only the worktop that's essential for that.

When DD1 was under GOSH, there was a Transition clinic at Queen Sq (next door). A paediatric consultant from GOSH (the clinical lead at the time) and DD1’s new consultant neurologist at Queen Sq both attended appointments with DD1 and us for about a year from age 17. It was a bit odd really, as during that time, we won the tribunal for a place at Young Epilepsy. So, she was under GOSH consultant neurologists there, until she was 22.

When she left, her consultant neurologist at Queen Sq had been promoted, so our local consultant neurologist referred her to another consultant neurologist at Queen Sq. (There was no Transition clinic at our local hospital - she was just transferred at 18 from paediatrics to adult neurology)

GOSH always told us, our local hospital needed to know about her, for when she turned up at A & E, so she was always under the local one too. I was most sad to say goodbye to her local paediatric neurologist, who’d looked after her, since she was 14, every time she was admitted to HDU!

@roaringdragon thats very useful info. Thanks. I honestly don’t know what he’d like or what’s out there but investigating would be sensible.

@Zzzzzs it’s horrible not knowing where a cat is. I hope he appears soon.

@Lougle your girls are amazing! They push on and find light and joy through all the difficulties.