The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

@Lougle thank you. @LathkillDale not sure. Benefits and work looks like it’s what I need. It’s got a good bit of detail on what I need to include.

Do you have a Money Advice Unit in your LA?

@PurringTiger Benefits and Work is good PIP descriptors, as is Citizen's Advice - you need to look at each descriptor and bear in mind that she has to be able to do it reliably, in a timely fashion, repeatedly and safely.

PIP renewal form has arrived. Is there a place I can read how best to articulate DD’s difficulties please?

@NoHaudinMaWheest Belated Happy Birthday to DS!

Just went to put drier in and discovered door frame is 59.4cms and drier is 60cms. Will sort it out but lucky its on a modern part of house so we are allowed to alter it.

Sorry its exhausting @Fififizz It is hard to know how much to takeover especially if you have a boy who would let everyone else do everything given the opportunity but who does struggle with some things. I tend to leave things now and intervene if really needed.

Thanks @PurringTiger Yes DS is cooperating well with the laundry room and his bathroom projects and we have just had 2 days of plumbers in and now all the plumbing is done and first lot of electrics done. He does avoid anywhere with any people which means he goes out to the garden but weather is quite warm here still so that's OK. Don't know he manages without a toilet all day though maybe that's youth. We leave him food and drink so that's fine though sometimes he won't eat it until everyone has gone but does catch up eat.

Thanks @Lougle We don't have room here for the pianos or cars, well DH has one upright piano here but he has another upright one at his Mums, a grand piano in France somewhere, a piano at the church, a piano at a friends house in France who has a massive property or it might be just a classic car. I lose track of what is where, he has a classic car at his Mums, a classic car at his friends in France, a garage with a classic car 10 miles away. But he never does much work on these things himself and this started 30 odd years ago. He is hugely popular with the old ladies at the National Trust properties when he plays their pianos and he loves when my old university college has piano events. Has weekly piano lessons and also has conference calls with other piano collectors.

Very happy plumbing has just completed and washing machine is working and moved and we have sink and worktop in place and all pipework changed to the external drain and plumbing in place for jacuzzi bath when it arrives later this month. Electricians on Thursday and DDs stuff to move tomorrow and will need to do some bits and bobs and clean inbetween but should now be able to book a day out next week. Never like doing that with plumbers etc before they have really finished. Hope the guy took all his tools as well, they have a habit of leaving them. I am getting a tiny bit fed up of cleaning up after multiple men but very happy to see all the work achieved. I seem to need to do one or two hours cleaning each time before I can start work on things.

DH is getting quite forgetful and getting me to do all calculations and things, just spent ages finding his car keys. He says he's OK just has lots of different things to think about. I think its probably fine and when I looked up online says can be related to hearing loss which he has and won't use his hearing aids.

Thanks for the birthday wishes all.

I can't imagine having room for lots of pianos! It's good to have something to enjoy.

@NoHaudinMaWheest your DS is an absolute treasure. 30 years old! It just shows that the wins continue for our children. You work so hard to help him succeed.

I'm just thinking...I joined this section when DD1 was 2½. So your DS was just entering his teen years then.

@NoHaudinMaWheest 30 wow that went quickly! Belated birthday wishes and what a fantastic difference you have made to DS’s life.

@Lougle hope today is better and you have a quiet night.

@Violasilkie love the thought of many pianos being kept for renovation. DS is sounding more settled and co-operative which is a great sign his nervous system is going in the right direction.

@Fififizz it is exhausting. Have you stepped back and taken a really good look at what you're trying to maintain because it 'should' be done, and what is actually necessary? If it's all a struggle, there's no harm in going for a minimalist 'if it won't kill them it's not essential' approach for a while.

@Lougle

I hope DD2 improves and starts to is feel more comfortable.

@NoHaudinMaWheest

Happy Birthday to your DS.

@Violasilkie and @LathkillDale

The ADHD is exhausting in unexpected ways.

I just find trying to be the logical organised one and processing it all and being the voice of reason exhausting for my own executive function. Then the badgering to do the mundane tasks that are necessary but not on the radar, or dopamine producing, enjoyable. I end up taking on responsibility for everything then getting completely burned out in an on going cycle. It’s hard to work out where the boundaries should be and to stick to them.

Keeping them on task to finish projects and being like a ‘scatter gun’ definitely rings true.

I work for DH and his partner, so I suppose I am an assistant. However, when DH goes through a file of last year’s working papers with me, he flicks through it at a 100 mph

”You do, this, this and this, just like last year!”

His mind explodes with ideas in different directions in an ADHD way, and it’s very difficult to keep up with him, when he’s had the client for 30 years; but I don’t know anything about them and their type of business! I much prefer to work for his partner, who thinks at a normal speed, in a vertically logical way, instead of like a scatter gun exploding!

I used to go to workshops by a SEN barrister. He was exactly the same. It was all fine, if he stuck to his Powerpoints in order, but if he started flicking through them all over the place, it was hard to keep up!

Thank you! I did. DD2 isn't feeling great but she's at home.

Today was flu vaccination day. Our surgery is vaccinating 1000 people in one day. The school vaccination service is due at DD3's school tomorrow and they sent consent forms, then phoned to say that DD3 is too old for their service because they only go to year 11. Fortunately the surgery were willing to add her in with us today. She wasn't grateful!

Happy 30th to your DS @NoHaudinMaWheest and well done on supporting him.

DD back from China today after 2 flights, tomorrow we take her stuff back to Oxford. Plumber has sensibly pushed back to 9.30am but likely to be here all day. I hope they finish today though just the one here today as its Saturday. I want to go out one day next week as we've not been out since very start of September as working 7 days a week on these projects / cleaning / gardening but don't want to book anything until certain they have finished. Electrician is in on Thursday so we have 3 potential days though 2 will likely go to cleaning and gardening.

30 @NoHaudinMaWheest how has that happened? It seems only a blink since he was in school! What a brilliant constant support you have been to both your children. Happy Birthday to ds and well done that mum.

OneinEight congratulations to DS2. I hope the job goes well.

roaringdragon good Ds1 has had the operation. I hope the recovery goes well without too much stress.

lougle wishing you and DD2 a weekend free from pain and hospital.

purringtiger I hope you manage some rest this weekend.

Ds reached his 30th birthday last weekend. Not quite sure where the time went but 15 years ago it seemed unlikely that he would be here, living at home and working.

@Fififizz DH also has lots of pianos all over the place that in theory he's restoring, also several in France and some have been there 25 years plus. I've noticed a lot of the electricians / plumbers / carpenters often have assistants with them who are similar, often their asd sons. DH took vol redundancy / early retirement earlier this year so is now just doing projects round house and garden with me and he told me yesterday I was an excellent assistant to him. 😂Though I think he would prefer an assistant who doesn't insist jobs get finished and who lets him sleep until midday.

Hope the meds work @Lougle

We've been to SAU. ALT up so needs rechecking next week. She's had some oramorph and they've given us more painkillers. We had the option to stay in but we've come home. They've said that if she needs to come back in the night they'll take her. My hips are hoping that the new meds will be enough.

@Violasilkie

That made me lol, does your DH want an assistant? I just find it hard to comprehend. DC could have done a course in mechanics or similar, already dropped DT as wasn’t enjoying the technical drawing aspect, which is fair enough.

Great at blue sky thinking but lacks planning and execution so basically the executive function.

So far, from memory, we have supported drumming, acoustic and electric kit, piano lessons, boxing and equipment, MTB, motor cross bike and kit, War Hammer, football, cricket, specialist gaming computer, tennis, golf, padel, guitar and lessons, multiple lego kits and we have said no to various other things too. My brain boggles with it all.

Thanks @JumpersFluffy Hope you can relax over the weekend and don't have side effects from the flu jab.

Sorry about DD2 @Lougle but good you have phone access.

That car project sounds like my DH @Fififizz He has 3 classic cars now to restore and two are in France. He has a tendency to start projects and not finish them. Your DS may become an engineer or builder.

Plumbers have gone now but are back tomorrow at 8.30am to finish off. DS just stayed in the shed which is completely for him now when they were here and DH thought he napped. Its nice weather here at least, about 20C and sunny. He's back in the house and between it and walking the garden now.