DS expelled (KS2), waiting for aspergers assessment, come and tell me what the hell I should do and talk to me about home educating - would that drive me completly mad?!!

Does your LA have a team that supports AS kids in school ours does and they give lots of really valuable advice.
Ds is 11 and has AS his early experience of school was very similar to your ds's but he has had fantastic support since y5 and is now thriving at secondary school.
In short keep plugging away at school it will be worth it in the long run.
Are you able to advise the school waht the triggers for his behaviour are. Each time you are called to take him home ask the teacher exactly what happened prior to melt down it will help you build a pattern of triggers and if the school are made aware it might reduce the number of incidents.

How are things going triggerfish?

Tigerfish, hugs to you. We have been there!! DS is 10, and went through 2 miserable years at school before he was DX'd a few months ago (with AS).

The head decided he was a naught boy, and excluded him more times than I can count. His teacher tried to support him, but the head and SENCO were pathetic.

His time table was graudually reduced, first so I collected him at 2.30, then at midday, and eventually the were trying to make me come and get him at 10.30!!!

He's no longer in school and has 5 hours a week of home tution (provided grudgingly by the LEA). He's actually doing well with this, and although it's a far from perfect arrangement, I think he's getting more useful lesson time than he was at school.

You need to persue a DX yourself - as other people have said. The GP will refer you to CAMHS and CAMHS will arrange for assessment. You are in a much stronger position to fight for you son if he has a DX.

Another possibility is asking the GP to refer you to a developmental paediatrician (note that type, certainly not a community paed). CAMHS certainly have their place but their response can be mixed when it comes to ASD.

IPSEA and or SOS;SEN are very good and can advise with the educational side of things. I think that IPSEA too have some info re exclusions on their website.

www.ipsea.org.uk

triggerfish I realise that a lot of this is very scary. My ds was not dx until he was 9 years old and that was because he had a complete and utter breakdown. He too found it very hard at unstructured times (playtimes) and the fear of rejection by his peers was awful.

The teachers always used to write in his reports that he could do better, that he was underachieving. The thing is there is a certain way that AS children have to be taught. They are very bright but they struggle with a social and communication disorder and it is very real.

You need to take this one step at a time now. Go to your GP, ask to be referred to CAMHS for a diagnostic assessment. Tell your GP what has happened, what you believe your ds has. DO NOT WAIT FOR THE SCHOOL TO DO IT. It is not actually their place to do it, it needs a qualified Consultant Psychologist to dx Aspergers.

Do in the meantime apply for an assessment. Tell them your ds is undergoing assessment for Aspergers too.

I have received an awful lot of help from this site ASD Friendly. They have been a godsend to be honest. I too was in your position, waiting for a dx and all the time wondering what I should do. They give honest, friendly and informed advice. You might also, if you read the boards, find that there is alot that is relevant to your ds and it might help you.

I shall log in tomorrow night to see how you are. Take care.

We were even told to bring ds home at lunchtime because he was turning over chairs etc - your story is my story!

I'm finally off to bed now, but seriously, I have been exactly where you are now, adn it's so different now. My ds is happy and calm and they really love him at school. The social side still isn't easy, but we are making progress. The more help you have, and the more knowlege you have, the better it will be. I used to be told I was scaring the teachers by being so assertive, but now they admit I was right!

Be positive. Huge changes can be made, adn your child can be happy and productive at school.

Does this happen at a certain time of day, or in response to a certain trigger (I bet it does). This is not unheard of behaviour. My own ds used to do this. It was poor handling by the school, and also my ds reacts very emotionally to hunger, and we needed to give him a big protein breakfast - boiled egg, soldiers, porridge, cheese on toast etc -AND a proper mid-morning snack, oatcakes and peanut butter, half a ham sandwich, digestives and cheese etc. This had a massive effect, so much calmer. He needed more 1-1 (25 hours in his statement), he has massages to calm him with deep pressure, he is allowed to go to the book corner to be quiet if things overwhelm him. He is a different child. We also give him some supplements, eg fish oils and one called Attentive Child, multivits and have removed any artificial colours, flavours and sweeteners from his diet.

triggerfish, could I just suggest that you listen to candlewax and mabana about whether the school is being as supportive as you think they are..

it sounds as though you need to act sharp-ish..

Of course the school have to protect the other pupils and the staff, but that still doesn't mean that your son should go without a full-time education.

Naturally you're concerned about your son's future but he's still a little boy and (I hope) the assessment will soon lead to him getting the help he needs to have a happy time at school. I don't know much about Asperger's but I would think there's a good chance of getting things back on track.

You sound very distressed. This must be painful for you. Have you got a friend nearby who can provide some moral support?

Lots of parents here have autistic kids with siblings, sometimes autistic kids with several autistic siblings!
Tell me about his meltdowns!

No, this isn't giving you support, really it isn't. It is actually illegal to just tell you to take him home. Can you tell us more about his meltdowns? He is very young, don't assume things will always be like this. Proper support can absolutely turn things around. I have seen this myself with my own child.