I just need to vent because I’m at the end of a fine thread. DS aged 11 ADHD and PDA profiling. Never does absolutely anything that he is asked. I am patient and consistent, understanding and usually very regulated but if I allowed it, everything would get turned into a row.
I work full time and have absolutely no support at home. I single parent full time. My son has every need I can possibly reach met, and then some. I’ve worked in the SEN sector for years, so have a lot of experience. He is constantly dopamine seeking in forms of food and spending, and something I have to work hard to control. He will literally eat until he’s sick if allowed, and once got my bank card out of my purse and spent hundreds of pounds in an hour.
He’s most of the time very loving and respectful of others, but to me he can be the most demanding, disrespectful, and sometimes hurtful lad. He was begging for at the other day, to which I declined as he’s had stuff this week already. In the end he was shouting at me. I told him to stop and that it’s not at all right to speak to me this way, and he came back with his usual response of he’s joking and doesn’t mean it.
Last night I was trying to paint a room at home, he was in and out and when asked to stop because I didn’t want him getting paint on him, he began refusing and threw himself on the floor, refusing to move. I tried to usher him out, which then led to him pushing me and grabbing hold of the walls, paint everywhere. At this point I lost it and began to shout. He was asked soooo many times to stop but point blank refused. We’re now arguing and he starts telling me I’m a child abuser. At this point I took myself away, and he followed me. He’d phoned his friend unbeknown to me, and was crying and saying I’d hit him.
His friend called back about 20 minutes later, after I’d finally locked myself in the bathroom and he’d left me alone, he was speaking to his friend on loudspeaker and his friend was on about ringing the police on me, and that his mum is reporting me to social services. At this point, I just burst into tears. He apologised after but is still convinced he did nothing and I am the problem. He was then throwing it in my face how I don’t have a big house to leave him like his friends have, mainly the boy he spoke to on the phone. He was then saying how I need to get a man, because there needs to be a man in the house.
I am absolutely at the end of my tether. There is honestly nothing more I can do for this boy, we’re awaiting therapy for him, we attend a neurokids session for similar kids every week, he’s loved, encouraged and cared for. I’m honestly in a dark place and wondering where I go from here, or what hell I’m going to be blamed for next.