School lateness punishments, neurodiversity and the law

This explains it better than I could.

Some parents are not great, that's not new news.

That person is saying it is the same for parents of any groups of children...

There will be amazing parents.
There will be average parents.
There will be shit parents.
There will be abusive parents.

In all groups of kids there will be a range of parents within that group...

It was clear what they were saying.

If we looked at all parents of 4 year old kids....the above would apply to that group, if we looked at all parents of kids with sight impairment the above would apply to that group.

Not all parents of 4 year olds are amazing...law of averages makes that so, you cannot have all parents above average...or else they all become average...ask Michael Gove that one!!

There is a range of parents...ranging from the amazing to the abusive and all in between.

They never said parents of ND kids are shitter at parenting than parents of NT kids. They were saying that within that group of parents there will be a range of parenting abilities, parenting engagement etc.

An observation based on nothing( still no quotes) to parents of ND children who have oodles of lived experience of preparing ND children for the world we live in when you have none!!

That millions of parents do not have equal ability to parent?

You need evidence? Look around you at parenting and at any other aspect of life lived by millions.

Why am I focusing on ND children? The thread is about ND children.

Differences in parenting ability also exist in the parenting of NT children.

I made an observation, I have lectured nobody.

And again where is your evidence for such offensive nonsense.

Who are you to lecture parents facing difficulties the like of which you wouldn’t want to experience in your worst nightmare. When you’ve experienced your child self harming, trying to kill themselves multiple times, holding their hand in high dependency, in and out of hospitals, battling services for help, battling schools for an education whilst coping with multiple debilitating ND disabilities maybe then you get to lecture parents of ND children on “ preparing their children for the world we live in”. We do it day in and day out thankyou very much.The parents of ND children I know are doing an amazing job above and beyond what parents of NT children have to do .

Oh and not sure if you’re aware but many parents of NT children fail miserably as regards this- without having disabilities to manage. Why are you focusing on parents of ND children?

Exactly what I said.

Not all parents of ND children are equally good at preparing those children for living in the world they will have to live in.

I'll repeat though, that they all do a job that I couldn't do. No

So what are you saying? And quotes please.

That is not what I said at all.

And can we have some links and quotes please for such an outrageous thing to say. Must be loads on this thread- except I haven’t seen any.

So you’re saying parents of ND children are worse at parenting than parents of NT children? Right. Got you. Complete rubbish and abelist.

Not every parent of every ND child is perfect, though, are they? They don't, every single one of them, do an equally good job of preparing their child as well as it can be done to cope with the world they will need to live in, do they? I've read stuff on this forum that confirms that even if others haven't seen it.

ETA they all do a job I couldn't do!

Completely agree that we are all neurodiverse, that term was created to talk about how all brains are different.

I do not know what is considered typical....could you please link me to what a typical brain does and what is considered typical if you will?

I am ASD so completely understand the list of labels you provided but no idea what a typical brain does as nowhere can I find what a 'typical' brain is or does.

Sadly on here, ppl are not so welcoming for ASD brains....but then they clearly do not accept ppl with ASD. Sadly had to report a few for discrimination for saying I do not know what it is despite having it myself.

I would be interested in reading anything you have though if you could kindly share.

I have read but cannot find a definition of a clone brain anywhere...no one has yet to define what NT brains do and how they are all identical to each other....

All I have found is that all brains are different....every single person's....hence where the term ND comes from...it was created to talk about how all brains are different.

By all means you can share your reading on the scientific definition of a NT brain and how all those brains do exactly the same thing and never develop misconceptions...

I imagine teachers would disagree as all kids learn at different rates....even when labelled NT...which makes no sense if they all process things exactly the same?

No it does not! It helps them to understand their disability more. I’m on most ND threads and have not seen what you’re saying at all.

It's not rubbish. It's stuff parents write quite often on this forum. For some parents, the diagnosis stops them trying to get their child to fit in with the world they will have to live in as adults.

I can be like this. For example I used to work ina school where being late was not ok at all so I just arrived at 7:30. Obviously I never actually arrived at 7:30 but i was almost always earlier than the start tome of the day.

However that cant be applied in the same way to lesson transitions unless she gets to leave early which they refuse.

I now work in a flexible.job where I can start when I start and finish 8 hrs later. It works so well for me. But again not possible in school

Absolute rubbish. The fact is masking is hugely damaging,that’s a fact. ND children and young people often can’t advocate for themselves and need parents to battle the education system and broken MH services. Families are on their knees. Children need to learn how not to become overwhelmed which means not masking but finding what works to help avoid getting to that state. Sitting through an 8 hour day without reasonable adjustments leads to meltdown and self harm not meltdown avoidance.

From someone with ADHD who used to struggle with timekeeping (and tbh very much has zero sense of time...5 minute and an hour can feel exactly the same at times 😳) the only way I've been able to manage this is be early. My logic being you can't be late, if you're early.

And yes I do completely understand how hard it is to get going (especially with ADHD and a delayed circadian rhythm!) but if you can't get into the routine of getting up even half an hour early it will help in the long run.

I don't actually start my shift at work till 4, but I've already been here half an hour and just having some time before I start to mentally transition to work mode.

As great as it would be that s hool could just adjust it, at the same time I see it as an issue which CAN eventually be managed by you/your DD you've just got to figure out what works bet

That is never what people suggest.

Get a diagnosis so that the Reasonable adjustments the need and are legally entitled to can be insisted upon yes but not so they can give up

What is this 'same way' that brains all work in and why do misconceptions occur in two NT children if their brains are clones of each other?

So what is this clone brain you talk of and why do they process things differently if they are all the same?

NT ppl process things differently to each other or else all kids who are NT would learn all at the same rate...but they do not. So that means all brains process things differently.

There is no such thing as a cloned brain.

Who discovered that one group of ppl all have the same brain that thinks in exactly the same way..

I thought all brains were different?? Can you link me to some reading on this one NT brain that exists....I am not quite sure I believe that all NT ppl have the exact same brain and think in exactly the same way and process in exactly the same way....

I thought we had a diverse range of brains and everyone's brain thinks differently to another....

A brain that works in the same way as the majority of other brains.

Most brains, for example, will give the owner a shot of dopamine as a reward they get the last corner of the floor clean or put the last piece in the jigsaw.

Those of ADHD people don't. That's part of ADHD neuro divergence and has wide implications for the way that person lives.

On the other hand, if you give an ADHD person and an NT person information jumbled up amongst garbage, the ADHD person will spot the patterns in the data measurably quicker than an NT person. That can be very useful of you choose the right career.

I know what I see people write on forums and it often seems to be the case of "get the diagnosis and give up trying to fit the child for the world they live in".

I know many, possibly most, parents are not like this. Some definitely are, from what they write.