School lateness punishments, neurodiversity and the law

Why are there so many kids nowadays who have neurodiversity issues? How is OPs daughter going to cope with work, where she can't be late every day or she'll get sacked?

I've not said anything about physically disabled children being unable or able to do things. You're drawing a false equivalence.

SOME parents literally excuse any poor actions and behaviours under the "they can't help it, they're ND". The children can help it, they're choosing not to because they know parents will excuse them. One small example in the park, waiting for the swings. A child and parent come over, go to the front of the queue "X needs to go now, he doesn't know how to wait he's ASD". There were 2 other children with additional needs queuing. They had been taught and modelled that queuing is part of life and sometimes we have to wait for things. Not bulldozered to the front of the queue by a parent.

Why are there so many kids nowadays who have neurodiversity issues? How is OPs daughter going to cope with work, where she can't be late every day or she'll get sacked?

You said

“The same way I judge parents of ND children who excuse their actions all the time because "they're ND".

So parents of physically disabled children aren’t allowed to excuse things their children can’t manage.

I never mentioned SEND at all, And if the figures are wrong take it up with South Ayrshire council as that is the figures they have for pupils with ASN in their schools.

That's not what I said. Yet again your reading comprehension isn't great.

If a parent wasn't even attempting to give a physically disabled child the tools they needed to live well, I'd judge them.

Just like I'd judge a parent who didn't take their child for an eye test knowing they couldn't see.

I don't think that's a controversial take on life but I'm sure you're about to react like I've killed a cat.

So parents of children with very visible disabilities aren’t allowed to vocalise when their children are unable to do things because of their disability. Wow!

You can say some parents are shit without being a parent. Your logic isn't logicing.

If parents of a physically disabled child were not doing physio required, or not trying to get OT support for a wheelchair etc I'd be judging them too. The same way I judge parents of ND children who excuse their actions all the time because "they're ND".

You are in no position to do so. You don’t have ND children. The same way you have no place to lecture to parents of children with more visible disabilities. You don’t know these children or their disabilities intimately.

Plenty of it working in a school.

SOME parents use a diagnosis as an excuse for their child.

SOME parents use the diagnosis as a springboard to access support, teach coping strategies and help their child understand themselves better.

Some is not all. The vast majority is not all. The vast majority want to help their child is not the same as all that vast majority are actually able or willing to help their child.

There is no conflict between the statement you are taking exception to and your own response.

Some children who could be better prepared for life in the world they will have to live in are not being better prepared for life in the world they will have to live in. Some, not all, a minority.

That's all I or anyone else is saying.

“SOME parents use a diagnosis as an excuse for their child.“ Evidence please .

I have experience professionally and personally.The vast majority of parents want a diagnosis to help their child.

She said

“It's stuff parents write quite often on this forum. For some parents, the diagnosis stops them trying to get their child to fit in with the world they will have to live in as adults.”“

I’d like to see evidence of that because its not my experience at all. ND is actually under diagnosed in this country and parents often desperately want a diagnosis to help prepare their children for the world we live in to the best of their ability.

Can’t wait to see this evidence. Children vary hugely in how much they can “fit in” so I’d love to know how you know individual ability and your evidence of how parents aren’t trying to help them fit in.

Also just so you’re aware every professional you come across when you have a struggling ND child will tell you that fitting is not what you should be aiming for and actually all too often we are trying to get them to fit in too much.

Plenty of it working in a school.

SOME parents use a diagnosis as an excuse for their child.

SOME parents use the diagnosis as a springboard to access support, teach coping strategies and help their child understand themselves better.

I don't have search capability and this forum is huge. I have no intention of trawling for hours across dozens of threads and thousands of posts to do what you want. I've seen it. People including ND adults commenting on their childhood have seen it.

I never mentioned SEND at all, And if the figures are wrong take it up with South Ayrshire council as that is the figures they have for pupils with ASN in their schools.

That person is saying it is the same for parents of any groups of children...

There will be amazing parents.
There will be average parents.
There will be shit parents.
There will be abusive parents.

In all groups of kids there will be a range of parents within that group...

It was clear what they were saying.

If we looked at all parents of 4 year old kids....the above would apply to that group, if we looked at all parents of kids with sight impairment the above would apply to that group.

Not all parents of 4 year olds are amazing...law of averages makes that so, you cannot have all parents above average...or else they all become average...ask Michael Gove that one!!

There is a range of parents...ranging from the amazing to the abusive and all in between.

They never said parents of ND kids are shitter at parenting than parents of NT kids. They were saying that within that group of parents there will be a range of parenting abilities, parenting engagement etc.

Plenty of it working in a school.

SOME parents use a diagnosis as an excuse for their child.

SOME parents use the diagnosis as a springboard to access support, teach coping strategies and help their child understand themselves better.

You said

“It's stuff parents write quite often on this forum. For some parents, the diagnosis stops them trying to get their child to fit in with the world they will have to live in as adults.”

Evidence please.

Your figures are incorrect. Only 19% of children have SEND in the UK. 14% have school level support and 5% have EHCPs. Within that support will be pretty basic phonic, reading and maths support and all sorts of disabilities.Are you suggesting we do away with it.

You said

“It's stuff parents write quite often on this forum. For some parents, the diagnosis stops them trying to get their child to fit in with the world they will have to live in as adults.”

Evidence please.

That millions of parents do not have equal ability to parent?

You need evidence? Look around you at parenting and at any other aspect of life lived by millions.

I do, yes. You can get a pair for £8 on amazon. These people get child benefit to cover their children’s needs, it can be taken from that.