Support welcome - I have used AI to pull it together coherently .
Hi everyone,
I’d really appreciate some advice or hearing from others who’ve been through something similar.
My daughter is autistic (PDA profile) and currently experiencing EBSA. She hasn’t been in school for about 4 weeks and has significant anxiety around school, including physical symptoms like stomach pain.
She’s currently at a mainstream prep school and we’ve been looking at transition to senior. However, it’s becoming clear that the senior environment is unlikely to be able to meet her needs, and we’re concerned it would be too high pressure for her.
We’ve started the EHCP process, but it won’t be finalised in time for September.
We have identified an alternative school that is much more suitable, and she’s done taster days there where she actually engaged really well and said she enjoyed it. So we know she can access education in the right environment.
The difficulty is the transition. She is very attached to her current school and friends and is now saying:
- she will “force herself” to go back even if she feels unwell
- she “won’t go anywhere else”
It feels very much like anxiety and need for control rather than a true reflection of what she can manage—but it’s very intense.
We’re trying not to push too hard (as that escalates things), but we also know staying where she is isn’t sustainable.
Has anyone navigated something similar?
In particular:
- how did you handle the transition without triggering full refusal?
- did your child initially reject the new school but then settle?
- any tips for keeping friendships going through a move?
- anything you wish you’d done differently?
We’re also about to go on holiday, so trying to park things for now and come back to it calmly.
Thank you so much—this feels like a bit of a tightrope at the moment.