Hello,
I’m wondering if anyone has been in my situation or could offer some advice please?
For accuracy I’ve included real details - completing outing if anyone who knows me in real life. Hi 👋 but I will do whatever I can in this situation.
I am mum of 2 children. My son has adhd, asd & anxiety. High level Dla care. My daughter had no diagnosis but is extremely emotional so it’s questionable . I am registered carer for my son I gave up work years ago to help him attend school. Dad is a high earner with demanding job so it was impossible for me to continue working as I was having emergency calls to collect my son from pre school on regular basis.
Fast forward a few years my partner & I have split up . His choice as I ‘am now just a mum’ and the small fact he had a much younger girlfriend ready to pop out of the wings.
We were not married (I know) so I have no income or pension - I am now working for myself in periods I can juggle. (Work in field of Sen, anxious/ sensory issues with children & adults).
Dad remained in family home (very large nice house) children & I moved to a much smaller affordable house (I feel lucky it’s mine, no mortgage but the transition to 1 bathroom, rubbish heating, electrics tiny kitchen no dishwasher or washing machine etc has been tricky for kids to get their head around but we are getting there & I hope to make it lovely for us - one bit at a time).
Dad has children every Fri night & Sat day. More in school holidays. The kids get dysregulated as return to the only house they ever knew (& loved) for one night. My son in particular is anxious on Fri day & very clingy to me sat night, Sunday & Monday.
Both myself & school feel (especially for my son) being in one home (mine) every school night is best for kids & the same night away every week creates a know routine.
I am of course open to access during school night - just not sleepovers.
My problem - dad has got solicitors writting to me to up the arrangement & work towards 50/50 split - they are prepared to take court action.
This would not be great for kids who are preparing for transition to secondary. Also dad would then pay no csa so I would be unable to say in current house with
. I bet I would still be required to undertake all medical appointments/ mental health forms/ medicine review etc as dad is unaware of situations never done them.
Anyway sorry for long post …. Has anyone else been in this situation? I can’t afford a solicitor so will represent myself and any advice- signposting to useful case law would be really helpful.
thank you if you’ve read this far! 😀