Very violent 5yr old boy

I'm not sure how all those going on about residential care think it's going to happen. She gives a call and they come and pick him up

In the short term, all you can do is ensure that one child is with an adult every waking second of the day.

What does your DS like, what's he interested in? Is there anything you can use to motivate him or discipline him?

Is there a safe place for your youngest to play in where DS is not allowed? If not, you need to organise something ASAP.

Does your DS have something he is allowed to vent his frustration on? Give him a cushion that he is allowed to hit when he is angry or frustrated.

Do you have picture cards that he could point to to help him communicate?

If he needs something in his hands, could a stress ball help calm him?

You definitely need to keep the little one safe and I think the mention above if a specialist school placement is good. I really would be looking at all possible options before putting a 5 year old in residential care however.

Has he got an EHCP? Sounds like he should.

You mention that he's very delayed in his speach this can cause anxiety and frustration in a child that is NT and can cause explosive episodes of anger add into that the autism and it makes for an even more extreme reaction,are you getting any help with his speech delay? Has anyone that's working with your family suggested using sign language for your son? In some cases it can really help.

Jesus he doesn't need to go to residential care! It might not feel like it but you're his anchor mama! How's speech etc?it's so frustrating for us but must be hell or them!

He needs to be in residential care.

My mother contacted social services time and time again about my own brothers behaviour as a child, she wasn't really given much help at all. On one occasion, he was so out of control that she had to call the police to prevent him from inflicting serious harm on other members of the family. Following this, SS seemed to step up and realise the seriousness of the situation.

You do realise that the police are there for more than arresting criminals don't you? They are there for a myriad of issues; folk having immediate crisis of mental health, missing persons...etc etc.

The child is 5 years old and has a medical condition. He is not a psychopath. He has autism and is struggling to communicate his needs.
Get in touch ASAP with your child’s social worker and other professionals involved and ask for more help learning how to deal with him and to keep your other child safe.
Also look online to see if Homestart operate in your area.

Sorry to read about your predicament. It's not your fault or the 5 year-old's. I have no helpful suggestions apart from seeking professional help.

P.s. calling the police on a 5 year old child who has ASD is a ridiculous suggestion.

Whoah! People are very quick to suggest residential without thinking about the reality of this!

It's really difficult to find a residential placement, but speak to the specialists about it if you feel this maybe an option in the future. It's really difficult when you are in the situation, but behaviour with autism is a form of communication. Is he after attention/hungry/upset about recent changes/ hearing people talk negatively about him? It could be many things.

He really needs to be in a special school. They will be able to give you much more support and advise tailored to him. Plus the break during the day. Why isn't he in school?

I'm so sorry you are at this point. It must be really hard. I hope you get some help soon

He could kill your other DC. I agree with others, he needs to be in a special residential unit. I would be calling the police next time he acts up this way and insist they call social services and advise that you aren't willing to keep him at home anymore.

Fuxk... Accidently posted too soon.

"People with celiac disease have a real and often severe reaction to eating gluten, which is found in wheat, barley and rye. Some people who aren’t diagnosable as having celiac may still be sensitive to gluten, and it is possible that a child sensitive to gluten could struggle with behavior issues as a result. Aggression in a child can be troubling, especially if it seems to go beyond the typical frustrations or outbursts. Research is still mixed, but there just may be a connection between aggressive behaviors and gluten in the diet."

mkfa.info/blog/is-there-a-link-between-gluten-and-aggression-in-children

Of course I don't know if this could be at the root of your son's aggression, but what you wrote reminded me completely of what other parents in the article I read are dealing with. The article I linked above was not the original article I read.

Perhaps this is an angle you could explore.

sorry, i don't know how these things work, but he needs to be in a specialist residential unit, at least until there is some improvement in his behaviour, or the younger child can defend himself.
it's bad enough that you are subjected to such violence, but an 18 month old is totally helpless in comparison. he has a right to be safe in his own home, else he will resent you when he is older. it is a very difficult situation.
can you appeal to childrens' services, on the grounds that the younger child is at risk, ie it is a safe-guarding matter.

I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with, but your post made me remember an artcle I read several months ago, (could be even a year ago or more, this year has made things bleed together).

The article was about explosive rage in children caused by gluten, related to coeliac disease.

you need to keep the younger child safe.
the 5 year old needs to be somewhere else. he is out of control.

Given the 18m is in danger now is there a residential solution for his care?

I'm sorry things are so hard, OP. I'm afraid I have no advice but I didn't want to read and run.

I just thought, you might be able to get more targeted help if you copy and paste this post in the "Behaviour / Development" section in the parenting chat rather than in this AIBU ("am I being unreasonable") category. Here's the link to that area on Mumsnet: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development

Good luck, and I'm sorry I don't have any help to offer.