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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

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Original poster

daughter won't go to school

62 replies

Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:04

ANYONE got ANY idea what I can do???!

DD is in year 4 now. she was bullied badly through Reception and Year 1 and is left with horrible anxiety (PTSD/OCD). We moved school as they weren't protecting her and we have been through periods of school refusal over the last 3 years. I don't know what to do any more. I can't keep forcing her in. I mean, I CANT force her in. But I'm going to loose my job at this rate. Then I can't pay the mortgage. I have no idea what to do. do I just have to let that happen???

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 08/10/2019 09:47

Can you afford to have someone tutor her at home?

Original poster
Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:44

I am a single parent @lumpy76. I just don't see how I can home educate without loosing our home. I cannot be the ONLY single parent in this situation? there must be a solution, but I can't think of it

OP posts:
Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 08/10/2019 09:43

Been there last year which was also year 4 for my son who has ASD. In our case his class was very unlucky with teachers leaving and lots of supply teaching, which was very unsettling. I think there were also some friendship issues. He has been much better in year 5 with consistent teaching and I believe no friendship issues. Also, he has been having more time at home with wrap around care greatly reduced. And his dad has been around more as well.
Where is your daughter’s dad in this? Has the school put any measures in?
My son’s school has provided some time out space in the school building as well as in the classroom which has helped as well.
All the best, it’s such a stressful thing Flowers

lumpy76 · 08/10/2019 09:34

Yes - I'm afraid often the only option is to home educate. I've been luck as a sahp but I've known many have to give up work. You can push for an EHCP (you can apply yourself) but it won't necessarily get your child into school. Sometimes school just doesn't work for some. I have a 15 yr old who has PTSD from his time in school - I also have another 2 children (one in school and one now home Ed) who struggle with school and school attendance (they both have ASD). I have other children with no attendance difficulties for those reading who think it's all about parenting! 🤦🏼‍♀️ Please look at NOTFINEINSCHOOL.org and it's sister group not fine in school on Facebook. You'll fine loads of support there.

Bloodybridget · 08/10/2019 09:31

Maybe try posting in Child Mental Health or whatever it's called? Much sympathy, must be horrendous for you and your DD.

Original poster
Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:28

there must be other people that have been in this situation??

OP posts:
Original poster
Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:26

school won't except part time. we did it despite their non-acceptance, for a while. but it doesn't really help with my work/financial situation

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Original poster
Rocktheboot · 08/10/2019 09:25

she is in her 2nd round of counselling. first provided by school, 2nd paid for by my employer. I have had many many meetings with school. 1 on 1 helps her, time out of classroom helps her, but they don't have the staff to maintain this. she has talked about killing herself since year2, but CAHMS rejected her referral (currently being challenged by my MP)

OP posts:
Earthandsky · 08/10/2019 09:12

Would she go on a part-time basis eg mornings only then build up the time? My dc had to do this, starting with an hour and a half a day. It sounds pointless but it’s a way in if she is refusing completely.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 08/10/2019 09:10

What are school doing to help? Have you met with the senco and/or pastoral team?

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 08/10/2019 09:08

Has she been diagnosed with PTSD? What support are CAHMS offering?

AmIThough · 08/10/2019 09:07

Why does she refuse to go now? What are her reasons?

You can't lose your job over this.

Have you had meetings with the school? They will have dealt with difficult children in the past and will support you.