AIBU to think teacher should have consulted about this?

It’s definitely not a “those teachers” situation. It’s one who has tried to do the best, is still learning the particular quirks of the child in question and they obviously really do want to engage and help the child. I’d take that any day over the nightmare we had last year where the teacher lied, dismantled any provision and routines we had set in place to support my child - to the extent that at one point I was meeting with the SENCO weekly to try to keep things on track and the Head became involved and was absolutely livid at what had been going on!

I would take a “yeah we’ve got wires crossed and this needs refining a bit” over that woman who drove me to absolute despair and onto anti depressants any day. Was only the fact a student was also in the class who had more empathy and will to support all the kids - not just the pretty little high achieving girls - that made the year at all bearable.

Thank fuck we have the amazing SENCO this year who is just positivity embodied and bloody awesome!

@SofiaAmes - that sounds soooo like my eldest who would talk to anyone and anything (even witters on incessantly in her sleep). She came home saying she had a tally chart with sanctions for talking and I queried it with the teacher to find out if she was being a genuine pain in the arse or if it was just trying to shut her up occasionally - in which case I wished the teacher the best of luck as the child never ever ever bloody stops talking!

looks like you have got one of 'those' teachers
It doesn't seem so based on my experience.

I've worked with a number of "those teachers" and had the pleasure of managing them sacrcasm. This teacher doesn't fit the picture based on this, though some other SEN threads on here very much show what "those teachers" can be like.

From this thread I would guess the teacher is well intentioned, has a good range of tools, tried to work with the student's preference, not thought about how a child with ASD could take words very literally and is now going to have to rectify the situation. They come across more well intentioned with good ideas but a little clumsy in execution.

Mollybutton I didn't mean to suggest that the OP should be threatening lawsuits, but my experience has been that using a few buzz words like "inadequate education plan for my disabled child and discriminating against my disabled child" were phrases that seemed to get more action out of teachers who somehow didn't think my ds' IEP (USA version of an EHCP) applied to them. I realize that the OP is early days yet, but I didn't start soon enough putting my foot down about my dc's special needs and regret that.
Ironically, the worst teacher that my ds had was the one male teacher that he had in elementary school. We were so excited about a male teacher and it was an unmitigated disaster, presumably not simply because he was male....but it certainly had lasting adverse results in Ds' attitude towards male teachers.

Good luck tomorrow OP

looks like you have got one of 'those' teachers.

either they'll 'get it' when you speak to them or you and DS are in for a rough ride.

SofiaAmes - in the UK children with ASD etc have rights too - but court cases are costly and take money away from providing for students needs. Although there are groups of parents fighting for their children's rights through the courts right now.

However to start talking about court action in the OPs case would be extremely premature.
The problem here seems to be a new and possibly inexperienced teacher; who certainly hasn't thought about the fact that a child with ASD will take her words literally. And the teacher has now damaged her relationship with the OPs son.
It is possible that the SENCO (the person responsible for all children with special learning needs in the school) had a word with the class teacher about the OP's son's social needs.
Does your son's class have a TA @Rinoachicken? I do also wonder if his teacher is a NQT?

sorry dc's teachers*

Here in the USA, ASD is a recognized disability and as such a person with ASD has rights and it would be considered discrimination to not have an adequate education plan and throwing around a few terms about lawsuits and discrimination would get them to pay attention (one of the upsides of a litigious society). I wonder if anyone can weigh in with the English equivalent.
I really regret not having made a big fuss earlier, because the things that my dc's children did to them at that age stayed with them through out their school years and negatively influenced them about the benefits of education and learning. As a result, I have two highly gifted dc's in a family full of overly educated people who don't want to go to University and did everything they could to leave high school early.

Rinoachicken I think you need to go into school and insist on speaking with the SENCO, the teacher and the Home-link person in the flesh and not leave until you have communicated with all three AND worked out a plan.

My dd was moved around the classroom while the teacher desperately tried to find someone she wouldn't talk to. She even talked to the non--verbal autistic boy and finally in desperation the teacher moved her next to a cardboard cutout of a cow and she happily talked to the cardboard cutout of the cow. I offered to give the teacher duct tape for Christmas.

Saying they were seats for the year was foolish on the teacher's part.

I like the fact school have an email filter though for staff.

Chloe raises a valid point. Some parents think they have far too much influence on seating plans and love to weigh in about how fair/unfair they think something is and can be quite bolshy to the point of expecting the class to be moved around their child's whims.

A former head once joked in a meeting that we should have long, thin classroom with front and back rows only for all the students who apparently need to be at the back/front based on zero educational reasons.

I'm hoping that isn't the cause of the move around though as the teacher will have set a precedent that will haunt them all year (and end up affecting other students like OP's child whose seating has to fit around the drama llama)

Maybe another parent had complained about this teacher’s seating plan and hence the change! Not saying it is right but this is one of the reasons some posters on here are saying that sometimes it is better to let the teacher decide what is best because in this situation, your DS has suffered if this is the case.

Best email the teacher if it is difficult to see him and a childminder collects your DS in the afternoon and hopefully get this resolved.

Well done OP, that sounds like it was really productive and you handled it well.

MoobaaMoobaa

Fair enough. But in this case, it looks like the teacher has made a reasonable decision.

seaweedandmarchingbands

I'm sure you are a good and knowledgeable teacher, and sure you do communicate with your pupil's parents adequately.

Its just this thread has brought out the fight in me again, after spending some years with some teachers, practically banging my head against a brick wall, because they have almost no understanding of children needing different approaches. but believe they do know best, or worst case not caring at all, and lable DC as naughty, and the only calls I got was to tell me, they were in trouble.......again. Those teacher made and still make my blood boil.

MoobaaMoobaa
Oh yes. Absolutely.
I think that's why it's with seeing where the path is going for these children. Once in year 7, my approach is typical for the staff who are good with SEND students (can't speak for all because I've seen some mixed practice ). From that I would expect Y5/6 to start moving a bit more towards the child's voice and listening to them, with the contact with home in the background. Otherwise it makes the move to secondary much more difficult (for both the child and the parent in my experience).

So in the OP situation, I wouldn't expect a consultation on this strategy change especially if the child was happy with it, but would think it reasonable to have a chat with OP about how her DC was settling in Y5 around a fortnight or 3 weeks in (and obviously sooner ib either direction if there were concerns). Given their child is openly happy about the situation, the teacher has responded to the child then I personally feel that concerns about not being spoken to about it are a little much.

MoobaaMoobaa

We’ll have to agree to disagree about approach. Sometimes I do know best. 🤷🏻‍♀️

seaweedandmarchingbands

DC is well out of the school age now. There was no extreme, just teachers who took the time to drop an email or ring about things that might have an impact on DC. They also talked to DC about stuff. In secondary I was less informed but still informed of some stuff. DC was kept informed in everything though.

Then there were teachers that thought they knew best.

The results of both types I have already posted up thread.

LolaSmiles Your approach is what i would expect, as especial for the age group you teach.

You spoke to child about the seating and gave them best choices that where available. I suspect if the child been distressed at the choices given them and unable to decide, you would have rang home to get back up and support.

MoobaaMoobaa

I am more than happy to talk to home, depending on the circumstances. Equally, with a Y5 child, it might be more appropriate to discuss it with the child, or the SENCO, or the child’s previous teacher. You seem to have a very extreme attitude, which perhaps would benefit your child in some circumstances, perhaps not. As the teacher I reserve the right to make changes and try things, consulting where I think is appropriate. My HT would back me in those decisions, because ultimately, I am responsible for the child’s education.