esbee
I just had achat with the head at our school yesterda toarrnage HE ing DS3 until Easter, so if you want a chat do e-mail me, i've joined a SN HE group and all that gubbins. You're not really that far from me either (even less so from FIL) so we could meet up and have a chat if that would help? It would be interesting to see your ds and ds1 (also HFA) see if we can swap tips about what has help keep ds1 in his school etc (he also has a statement with 1-1). Let me know if you fancy it any time, a mid pont would be easiest but DH can usually be eprsuaded down for a trip with the tent LOL.
I really can't see that residential is sensible unless you both want it. I have 2 friends with 10 year old ASD kids whoa re looking into it through a combination of choice and despearation, but I think youa re probably like me- finding it hard but not wanting to let go, which is a good thing. ASD kids find it ahrd enough to make bonds after all- those decent ones they have should be nurtured not treated as disposable.
Am wondering if a few posts on the HE SN forum would find you some local he-ers to chat to? Let me know if you think so (no memberships cots or anything) and i'lll CAT you the details.