Worried about my boy - Aspergers

Rainbow I'm a bit torn on the issue of early diagnosis, to be honest. It's obviously important to get support for children who are having difficulties and that the support provided is appropriate, whatever their age, and certainly talking to a paediatrician about concerns would do no harm at all. However, unless there were real difficulties rather than differences I'd be more tempted to hold back and see how things developed.

my psych friend also said to me "don't forget, we are ALL on the spectrum somewhere", which helped.
Your friend needs a good slap. Only those of us with autism are on the spectrum. Anyone else who says they are is probably highly condescending and doesn't understand autism.

It's really not too young at all. Op, please...if you are concerned please do not be put off by those saying it is too young.

Should add, my son is 8 and has had therapy etc since he was 3.

Shivermytimbers it really is not too young. My son was 3. Early intervention is key.

If there are concerns, there is no reason to get it checked out. (I only did it to shut everyone up as I wasn't overly concerned and felt it was too young, his behaviors weren't that uncommon etc etc etc. So glad I took that course of action now!)

I agree with others that it's too early to make any diagnosis and many of the things you describe are fairly typical in NT children. In fact some of the things you describe are the opposite of things my son did at that age (He was diagnosed ASD at the age of 8).
Without wanting to disparage your friend, who may be brilliant for all I know, I've met an awful lot of SENCOs over the years who haven't really had much training. While they might mean very well and think they know what they're talking about, they really haven't known their arse from their elbow in terms of ASD (obviously not speaking for all SENCOs!)

My son was diagnosed 2 1/2 but he was very clearly autistic . Ask for an assessment if your anxious just to find out either way no point worrying he is what he is and will always be your son

Worriedaboutboy Please don't caught up in your friend saying anything! She is trying to be helpful, and while I very much understand that it doesn't always feel like that, she didn't mean any harm, and if, off the back on her comment you do get him assessed, and it comes back as a yes, you will be thanking her!

We didn't find out til this year, when dd was 8. All the things we did wrong, thinking her behaviour was just that, all the places we took her which we now know completely overwhelmed her.

If only it was that easy to spot in girls, and if only I had a friend who could have told me when she was 3. We would be in a much better position than we are now.

I don't think 3 is too young, my DS was diagnosed at 3, and started receiving help.

Sadly, am not in UK so don't know the system. Here, I went to our Peadiatrician and the first moves were to get heating tested. The ball kept rolling from then on.

Talk to your practitioner.

Flapping is not a sign of ASD in a child that young. Lots of young children flap. The reason that its associated with ASD is because children with the condition tend not to grow out of it as quickly, so are still flapping at ages 5/6/7 +

My son is now 20 and autistic. Hair cutting is a sensory aspect and he now tolerates it but it was a nightmare when he was little. Tip toe walking is also another thing to watch for also echolalia

Fobber erm, I know....that's why

We are NOT all "on the spectrum somewhere".

don't forget, we are ALL on the spectrum somewhere

I agree it might just be his personality. Most of my dh's side of the family are very introverted and "keep themselves to themselves" sorts, and I think ds2 will be more like them.

Probably why I was concerned; ds1 is like me and very outgoing and confident. I naively thought any other children I had would be the same.

Now I just embrace the fact ds2 is low-maintenance and prefers to play by himself most of the time (gives me more time to Mumsnet !). I have mentioned my worries to preschool btw and they've just shrugged it off. He has come on leaps and bounds this past 6 months so I've relaxed a bit more.

The triad of impairments include

Social Ccmmunication or difficulty speaking/verbally expressing oneself

Social Relationships difficulty understanding social rules and norms

Imagination difficulty in flexible thinking or imaginative games...taking things literally.

These all sound like perfectly common behaviours that many children whether diagnosed with ASD or not seem to have. It may just be that he is a bit more quiet and a bit more introverted than most people. I know I am. I will admit that it has inconvenienced me and that I wish that my parents had done more to push me into being more outgoing at a young age but at the same time it is hardly sonething that I have needed to seek help for. In many ways it has benefited me too. Ultimately everyone is different, unless it is having a negative impact on his ability to live his day to day life I wouldn't worry too much.

going not offended but thank you

tatter I liked your detail!

DS1 is 11 now and has ASD. They don't diagnose with Aspergers where we are; it just comes under the ASD umbrella, but if I was to point at a specific part of the spectrum he's on it would absolutely be the Aspergers area. As a little boy he had some quirks that were there but nothing enormous. He was diagnosed at 9 when school and home both became quite a struggle for him. We've got things in place now and he's supported, happy, healthy and an incredible boy.

DS2 is 6 and absolutely NT. However, those 'flags' were definitely there during his early years. Sometimes 3 year olds can behave in certain ways that would indicate something that actually isn't there at all; it can be a stage they go through. Other times it could be ASD, which is why many areas prefer to monitor and assess when children are older as those 'flags' become greater or lesser. If you did a social assessment on DS2 right now he'd still have likely markers. It's not the markers that make the ASD; it's the way in which they progress and work together.

I think your friend and you both sound sensible and smart. Watch him and support him with areas he finds challenging. Be open with nursery, preschool and school about concerns and ask their opinions. But don't get it into your head that he's on the spectrum definitely. Just let him be who he is.

'M school is pretty good with asd' that should say. Kindle can't type.

Also, just read back what I wrote, and it reads as though I was saying that all people with Asperger's are of above average intelligence. That wasn't what I meant, was just trying to convey the variety of abilities and impairments within the autism spectrum.

I often wonder this about Ds. He flaps, chews, get as obsessed over stuff and although he makes friends easily, his social skills are terrible- gas to 've prompte dc to say hello/ goodbye etc. Not good at 2 way conversation However, so m w of traits link to dyspraxia, which I also suspect (took years to learn to ride a bike, poor cootdination). He's 8. And school were bemused when I mentioned it, but then, my school is pretty good with and and not all schools are. I'm not sure what difference a diagnosis would make; other kids are going to see him as a bit odd anyway.

Ah, Mog said it more succinctly! [elbows Mog off soapbox]