Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

Help! My Line-manager says I can have today to look after my sick son as a `one -off`

32 replies

time4me · 07/02/2007 10:24

Right now I am feeling really upset as my 18 yr old severely disabled son is ill and I sent a text to my line manager apologising and asking if it would be possible to work from home today,so I can look after him.She replied that I can as a one off
Can I add that I very rarely take time off,maybe one or two days a year at the most.I dont think I am being unreasonable and I know I have the law on my side. Usually I get on with her OK,I dont want to fall out with her or create an atmosphere.
I think when I am feeling better and she is in a good mood I will have a chat with her and say it upset me and that I cannot work and worry about my son being ill or his school closed and I cannot arrange care,and I will take time off without pay if necessary.
She has told me in the past that she feels I should get a Carer and also why my dh can`t do it.He does his share by the way but he works too,only part-time.
My instinct it to adopt a softly softly approach,and point out that the law is on my side!

OP posts:
Original poster
time4me · 07/02/2007 13:19

Texting was obviously not a good idea and I wont do it in future.Having said that she text me about an hour later regarding a work issue! I think she is feeling sensitive as there has been quite a bit of fragmented absence in the office due to children being ill,one took 3 days at a stretch and her daughter was 11 and she has parents close by.Also,I have gone to her and asked if I can have some odd periods off to visit new respite homes,but only time in lieu,I would repay the time.I also coulnt go to an after work meeting cos dh was ill.Maybe this was the straw that broke the camels back but I must emphasis that I probably take less time off than the rest of the staff put together over a year-in fact I KNOW I do cos two are off with long term sickness,in each case,6 months each.So I do feel a bit miffed about her attitude.She`s just text me again about work,no mention about how my son is,but fair dos I did say I would work from home today,so maybe she is proving a point!

OP posts:
Caligula · 07/02/2007 10:50

When you get back, ask her if she would prefer you to work from home next time your DS is ill, or if she would prefer you to take the time off as paid holiday or unpaid time.

Make it clear to her that you're not going to be pressurised. But also, point out to her that from the company's pov, it's probably better if you work from home.

TenaLady · 07/02/2007 10:49

I think the problem here is that you TEXT the manager. If you had spoken with the manager you may well of got a better response..

I would ask to see the manager when you return and discuss how you feel about her response and that there may be more days when you son needs assistance.

I think you will get a much better response as this will appeal to her caring nature. (everyone really does have one you know). Just express yourself, I am sure she will be very supportive.

Biglips · 07/02/2007 10:47

time4me - im shocked about your line-manager!!...hope u will it sorted xx

flutterbee · 07/02/2007 10:41

I should bloody think not I expect he needs all the sleep he can get!!

Just be with your son for as long as he needs you there and don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about it.

Hope it's a fleeting cold and not a horrible long one, they seem to be about at the moment. I have had it and have felt dreadful for over a week now so what your DS must be feeling I don't know. He's lucky to have you around.

Original poster
time4me · 07/02/2007 10:38

Thanks flutterbee,that really lifted my spirits.He just has a cold but he has bad fits and is frail,so I didn`t want to drag him out of bed at 6 am because I am scared of my line-manager!

OP posts:
flutterbee · 07/02/2007 10:29

I think you have got it spot on. Concentrate on your son now he is what counts, and calm yourself down.

When you return to work just ask to have a chat and maybe take in a little literature to support what you are saying. You must make her realise that she can not put you under any kind of pressure to take it as a one off and make it clear that if your son needs you then you will not hesitate to take the day off again.

This kind of thing makes me so

Hope your son is ok?