Dyspraxic/ASD teen, all gone wrong half way through his GCSE's and I don't know how to help.

53 replies

MrSlant · 20/08/2015 14:14

I haven't posted in here for a long time. I was in a group of lovely posters whilst we quietly wept with fear before our dc's started secondary school but after the first year he settled in and I felt a fraud hanging out here when he was doing so well. Really, really well actually and I think this is the problem! He has a gift for science, the headmaster described him as a 'high flyer' and he had plans to study some amazing topics at university supported by the school and made GCSE choices to give him the opportunity to follow this dream.

Cut to results day half way through his GCSE's, it isn't really a surprise as the end of year report had already explicitly pointed out how poorly he was doing. He has done OK in science but not brilliantly but he has failed everything else and it doesn't look like he stands a chance of passing maths when it comes to it and he needs it at A level to any of his subjects at uni. Until the end of this term there was no indication that he wasn't doing as well as always, his report sounded like one for a different child but it isn't. It looks like all the SEN staff have gone off long term sick and there is no one keeping an eye on him (he is school action plus). For his first set of GCSE's there wasn't even a laptop for him (and he wouldn't say anything, the exam paper was put in front of him and he just wrote, it would never cross his mind to challenge something like that).

So what to do? I have a very bright boy trapped behind the wall of dyspraxia, he can't get his clever thoughts out onto paper and he just hasn't got the organisational skills for the independence they are expecting of him at this level. Who do I go to, what do I say? Until a few weeks ago I was expecting him to be applying to Uni in a couple of years and at the moment it doesn't look like he will get into 6th form in 12 months. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well with no ladder. I've failed my beautiful intelligent son and I have to work out how to support him to do as well as he can.

He has a lovely (nerdy, hard working) bunch of friends by the way, there is no bad behaviour, drinking/drugs going on. For someone with dyspraxia he is turning into quite an athlete, anything involving going fast in basically a straight like is his strong point! Don't ask him to catch anything or he will do himself damage.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrSlant · 21/08/2015 17:06

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for replying. I would say sorry that your son has the things he has but I bet like me you wouldn't change a hair on his head because he is perfect, just not made to conform to a GCSE standard!

I am very impressed with the 1:1 ASD LSA, and everything else you have achieved, that sounds like what we need. He did well at maths and has ended up in the top set and is now floundering, too academic a class and he just can't keep up. I may be the only parent in the history of the school to go in and demand he goes down a set!

I hate being a pain in the bum, badgering and nagging but as I have honed these skills on my children I will start applying them to the adults whose job it is to not let him fail exams! I will take you up on the DM offer if I don't get anywhere if that's ok, thank you.

OP posts:

KeepBadgering · 21/08/2015 13:05

All I can really suggest is what you're probably going to do anyway, i.e. speak to the SENCO when the school year starts.

You've not failed your son, the school has by not keeping on top of things and informing you when they do not go to plan. This is their job but I'm afraid you've probably learnt the hard way that that doesn't mean they are always going to do it.

I'm afraid you're going to have to apply all those wonderful nagging skills that seem to come with parenthood and and make sure that the school keeps you informed.

I was lucky in that my son's mentor at school was more than happy to get copied in on every email I had with the school and chase things up when necessary. I sent a lot of emails in his time there, and we had a home - school link book so that I could pass daily messages/info to my son's LSA(s).

We were lucky in that the school was very hot on access agreements for his GCSE's (he was in a school with specialist ASD dept) but I did still double check everything was in place.

Over the years I've learnt to not take no for an answer, to question everything, to demand regular meetings and to generally be a pain in the ass!

My son, now 17, also has ASD, Dyspraxia and Dyscalculia so I know what you are going through. He is of average intelligence and like your son struggles to get things down on paper (or even laptop) so his GCSE's did not reflect his true knowledge. His school was too academic for him and he went to college instead of th form

It was not a good year as his LDA was cr*p and he got no ASD etc specific support/education. The LDA giving him no legal point of redress for not delivering we were a bit scuppered.

Thankfully now we can get an EHC (still in progress, that's another story) we have legal redress for any failure and suddenly it's amazing the support he's going to get: 1:1 ASD specific LSA, INDIVIDUAL maths/english tutoring and mentoring for ASD specific issues.

In short, keep asking questions, following everything up by email and be a general pain in the bum.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.

Original poster

MrSlant · 20/08/2015 14:23

And now I've written an essay I have to go and take him to the dentist. Teeth brushing is an issue still, how do you get a 15 year old to brush his teeth when it was a struggle at 5?

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2 3