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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

Dyspraxic/ASD teen, all gone wrong half way through his GCSE's and I don't know how to help.

53 replies

MrSlant · 20/08/2015 14:14

I haven't posted in here for a long time. I was in a group of lovely posters whilst we quietly wept with fear before our dc's started secondary school but after the first year he settled in and I felt a fraud hanging out here when he was doing so well. Really, really well actually and I think this is the problem! He has a gift for science, the headmaster described him as a 'high flyer' and he had plans to study some amazing topics at university supported by the school and made GCSE choices to give him the opportunity to follow this dream.

Cut to results day half way through his GCSE's, it isn't really a surprise as the end of year report had already explicitly pointed out how poorly he was doing. He has done OK in science but not brilliantly but he has failed everything else and it doesn't look like he stands a chance of passing maths when it comes to it and he needs it at A level to any of his subjects at uni. Until the end of this term there was no indication that he wasn't doing as well as always, his report sounded like one for a different child but it isn't. It looks like all the SEN staff have gone off long term sick and there is no one keeping an eye on him (he is school action plus). For his first set of GCSE's there wasn't even a laptop for him (and he wouldn't say anything, the exam paper was put in front of him and he just wrote, it would never cross his mind to challenge something like that).

So what to do? I have a very bright boy trapped behind the wall of dyspraxia, he can't get his clever thoughts out onto paper and he just hasn't got the organisational skills for the independence they are expecting of him at this level. Who do I go to, what do I say? Until a few weeks ago I was expecting him to be applying to Uni in a couple of years and at the moment it doesn't look like he will get into 6th form in 12 months. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well with no ladder. I've failed my beautiful intelligent son and I have to work out how to support him to do as well as he can.

He has a lovely (nerdy, hard working) bunch of friends by the way, there is no bad behaviour, drinking/drugs going on. For someone with dyspraxia he is turning into quite an athlete, anything involving going fast in basically a straight like is his strong point! Don't ask him to catch anything or he will do himself damage.

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EuroCarpediem · 28/08/2016 10:54

Have just read this thread and this brought a lump to my thoat!
As the mother of a sen child I salute you and congratulate your son on a great set of results.

Original poster
MrSlant · 25/08/2016 12:44

Good luck! I got such a reputation his friends would come to the door and ask 'has he done his revision yet or can he come out to play'. Worth every grumpy teen face ever.

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dramaqueen · 25/08/2016 12:14

So chuffed for you and your son, brilliant news.

I am where you where last September but have most help in place for my DS, just the next 12 months to get through now!

Original poster
MrSlant · 25/08/2016 11:47

I just wanted to come one and say thank-you, thank-you, thank-you from the bottom of my heart to all the people who took so much time to post on this thread last year. I listened to every one of you and have worked with school to give him the best chance of success and he has worked a lot harder too. So pat on the back to all of you and a share in the 2A's, 4B's and 2C's my boy just got in his GCSE's. He got a B in maths crucially so can do the A levels he wants (aspirations for uni have been downgraded to a much more achievable level) and he has passed English which is obviously so important. So thank you, for your words and time and experience.

Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers

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KeepBadgering · 04/09/2015 21:37

Brilliant news. I know it's not easy at first to ask for what your child is entitled to, but it does become easier and almost second nature. Think iron fist in a velvet glove.

Wishing you all the best for the new academic year

Original poster
MrSlant · 04/09/2015 14:02

First awesome news, he will take his exams in a separate room and be allowed unlimited breaks to stretch his fingers and body when they cramp up and writing gets hard (laptop for most subjects but not maths/science). I am getting a crush on his new head of year, he has a lovely voice and is so helpful Grin Blush

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TeenAndTween · 03/09/2015 11:41

Good news. y11 is a long slog when you've a child who needs assistance, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end. Smile

Original poster
MrSlant · 03/09/2015 09:42

I give in, first I post that on the wrong thread then when I C&P I forget the emoticons don't come through. I am a bit over excited at the teachers taking me seriously Blush.

That should have read;

ThanksFlowersThanksFlowersThanks

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Original poster
MrSlant · 03/09/2015 09:40

thanksflowersthanksflowersthanks

First day of children into the school and his new head of year has called me, meeting early next week. He's already taken action on a lot of points on the list and is going to meet DS1 later today.

So thank you very much intelligent, helpful people of MN, thank you for taking your time to give me the words to say and the courage that I was right to say them. Sleeves rolled up and away we go, fingers crossed I get through the next 9 months in one piece and with a son who doesn't hate me and is tooled up with exam results that reflect his ability.

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Original poster
MrSlant · 01/09/2015 11:55

Thank you all for your help, I have emailed the school with a list of my demands how I would like things to go and the need for a meeting as soon as possible. Also kept it non-combative but firm and clear I will be doing as much to help as possible too. I will phone tomorrow to make sure someone has had it. They keep things close to their chests though, only allowed the email for the office so can't even CC in the HT.

Obs I am looking forward to spending the time with him! He's a lovely boy just slow to get going, when we have a meal he will sit down and look at it, get up again and wander round the kitchen making himself a glass of iced water (all he likes to drink) by the time he is happy with it everyone else has usually finished. It's like turning a giant ship round sometimes!

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Obs2015 · 30/08/2015 16:13

He didn't like her. He prefers me going through it with him - I do accounts. Funny that!! I Like maths too - weirdo!! - you can never give him anything better than your time.

Obs2015 · 30/08/2015 16:11

Re maths tutor ask school or enquire from friends - you'd be surprised how many people do actually know one who has used one.
I used one for ds1 (Aspergers) for year 6, pre SATs because he was sobbing And wanted to die. £25 per hour in Surrey. So was shocked to see your £100 in Wales!! Only needed 6 sessions - best £150 ( yes it seems like a lot, but it's not really when you consider other costs!!) I ever spent.
Because she knew about his ASD she was highly effective in boosting his confidence.

TeenAndTween · 30/08/2015 15:56

Ask regarding using laptop for writing heavy subjects?

DD used one for English Lang, English lit, History (until she dropped it), and all written CAs.
Didn't use one for maths, science, MFL papers

Helps with a) handwriting but also b) answer structuring as they can go and add bits in or rearrange stuff.

noblegiraffe · 30/08/2015 15:33

Yes you can request copies of scripts from the exam board, the deadline is 4th October. It does cost though, about £12 per paper. I'd hope the school would pay for this. Tbh, I'd want to see his science papers as well as his English ones, just for comparison.

Re tutoring: I have known some tutors to work miracles, so it is worth considering, especially as your DS is bright, but something has gone wrong. A tutor can actually spend 1-1 time with your DS trying to figure this out, where a teacher doesn't have the time. But definitely go for a qualified teacher, and for one that comes recommended by the school or someone you know. If your DS doesn't get on with them, you can always try someone else.

If he wants to do engineering or comp sci, then you need to throw everything at his maths. If he fails his GCSE (as currently predicted), then he may not be allowed onto level 3 engineering BTECs, or A-level computing. If he wants to do A-level maths, then this is only really realistic with an A at GCSE.

BoffinMum · 30/08/2015 14:51

PS If you must get a home tutor only accept someone with a PGCE otherwise they won't have a hope in hell's chance of teaching a bright kid with SEN properly.

BoffinMum · 30/08/2015 14:51

Most home tutors are shit, frankly. It is unregulated and a shocking indictment of the free market in education. I would avoid them.

BoffinMum · 30/08/2015 14:50

Another child failed by the Welsh education system as it faffs about. I am not an expert in that system but I have been looking at the attainment stats in a professional capacity of late and they make me cross. Anyway, moving on, I suggest:

  1. Appointment with the HT (in the absence of a SENCO)
  2. Assessment with an educational psychologist, if he hasn't been formally assessed already. Ed Psych will be able to make recommendations as to next steps. £400, you can organise and pay for this yourself, it will be the best money you ever spend. School will be legally obliged to follow recommendations from this point (unless they can make a strong case not to, which they won't).
  3. Do not let him take any exams early.
  4. He probably doesn't need tutoring as such, just someone sitting by him while he completes his homework, helping him become more organised. The goal is to get him working independently. Eventually.

and

  1. Going through revision books with him and seeing if he has any gaps in knowledge is always a good plan, if you have the time.

Extrinsic motivation can be helpful for dyspraxic kids in certain circumstances, for example if his attendance and homework submission are 100% perfect you can take him for a grand day out somewhere he chooses, at half term or in the Christmas holidays. He can perfectly well control his school attendance and homework submission if he wants to, at that age.

What NobleGiraffe says about avoiding foundation levels is important. Tell the school you will not tolerate this.

IguanaTail · 30/08/2015 14:36

Yeah... Some of them will be random people with maths A level. Ask at school if they have any recommendations.

Original poster
MrSlant · 30/08/2015 14:34

WOW, when you look online there are maths tutors for £100 an hour. If that guaranteed him understanding maths again I would pay it in a shot! I was good at maths/physics and suddenly got confused when I was in 6th form but I've found it again as an adult and find it so satisfying . I would do anything for him to find that happy place with numbers again.

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Original poster
MrSlant · 30/08/2015 14:24

I'm not sure what I want/need! Magic wand to make him less disorganised and able to complete tasks?

I would like a mentor for him who can liaise with him weekly (?) and I can speak to every so often so I know where we are.

I've already had him removed from Welsh literature and I am hoping he can stop the normally compulsory RE because an extra written subject is useless to him at the moment. I think Welsh language is compulsory across Wales not just in his school.

Need to get onto the engineering coursework as a massive priority, lunchtime to cover this I would hope but how do you make a teenage boy actually do this?

Re-test for extra time in exams/remind them of extra time for slow writing from consultant.

I didn't know I could ask for copies of the script from exams. That would be massively useful, it was such a surprise he got a D because his comprehension has always tested very high.

He is already down to resit everything that was poor from the last set of exams apart from the one which was already a re-sit, I'm presuming you only get one go again?

Maths tutor. Speak to school or try and find one myself?

I didn't know what I wanted or needed but it turns out with the right prompting I can work it out! Thanks noblegiraffe, you must be an excellent teacher. I can't thank you enough for spending the time to help me.

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noblegiraffe · 30/08/2015 14:10

Do not allow him to be moved to a lower maths group if it means he may end up entered for foundation.

If possible, hire a maths tutor to boost his maths.

IguanaTail · 30/08/2015 14:07

That's ok then Smile

I'm sure they will work hard with you.

noblegiraffe · 30/08/2015 14:06

Oh absolutely be nice, but don't allow yourself to be fobbed off either. The lack of SENCO is the school's problem, not yours.

So what do you want?
Extra time for completing/redoing controlled assessments (possibly INSET days or lunch/after school)
Copies of all scripts ordered from exam board for exams sat in June so you can see what wentwell/didn't.
Going over internal exams.
Resitting any poor modules in January
Reassessment for extra time/rest breaks
A mentor to support with organisation/deadlines/sixth form applications, who will liaise with you
Removal from unnecessary subjects to concentrate on maths/English?

Original poster
MrSlant · 30/08/2015 13:50

He wants to be a chemical engineer or a physicist of some sort noblegiraffe then possibly engineering or computer science, all areas where a high level of maths is required. I think with the right help and support he can do it, he has the right shaped brain for maths he's just got snagged up on something on the way.

Thank you everyone for replying, it's amazing to have such support. Plus the gentle reminder to be nice to the teachers Grin

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Original poster
MrSlant · 30/08/2015 13:41

Obs2015 I'll start planning out the email. Bullet points because as you can see I struggle to write things concisely Grin

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