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Original poster

"School Refusal"...can a child 'fake' physical symptoms??

33 replies

MrsForgetful · 01/11/2006 09:28

my son has gone back to school today...and as usual looking deathly white,feeling clammy and very reluctant.

before half term he has come home at 1 for lunch, looking terrible...pale,just like travel sick- sweaty forehead/cold to touch....and as soon as i have called school to say he is ill- al beit to miss only 1 lesson....he gets full colour back and forehead not clammy.

he has adhd and Aspergers...i have issues which mean i get full blown panic attacks...so my gut feeling is he is not faking ...as when i have a panic attack i get exactly how he does...and i really don't believe he is able to bring on the symptoms at will....

he is 'discreetly bullied' at school- mainly by girls who he says keep saying they fancy him...he's almost 13...and finds all social skills hard- so as we approach adolecense i expected this raection...but he seems to hate a girl even looking across at him now...and that feels to do with the general 'eye contact' thing as he says they are staring...when all they are doing is momentarily glancing at him...

school (as ever) don't 'see' his hidden feelings as he covers it well...he is not disrupptive in school as he takes concerta (like ritalin)...which controls his hyperactivity...but also makes him very passive.

i hate sending him to school...how can i be sure he isn't really feeling so awful that it makes him ill...i am in contact with the school nurse ref my other sons...so may call her.

OP posts:
ItalianJob · 01/11/2006 10:06

is there anyone who understands him - any teacher/senco etc that you can talk about this with? would he try a bit of rescue remedy himself? or do some reading - online say about panic attacks, to get some understanding/insight into the causes of the symptoms and why he feels unwell?

Original poster
MrsForgetful · 01/11/2006 10:03

thanks...cos instead of getting dressed...and getting on with loking after my other 2 boys who don't go back to school till tomorrow...i am sat here...worrying.

OP posts:
SSSandy · 01/11/2006 10:02

Really don't know what I would do in that situation. I feel sorry for you , it is a really hard one.

Bumping it along for you

Original poster
MrsForgetful · 01/11/2006 09:54

thanks flamesparrow....i just feel awful...as i feel i am forcing him out the house...when i cannot even face that myself....its like if someone came here now and said "right, you cannot keep staying indoors...you MUST go out"...i'd panic instantly. (at the moment all i do is go to tesco after 9pm...as then i seem to be ok)

Home ed is something i have thought of...and i know i am 'allowed' to withdraw him from lea etc...

if i'm honest...what scares me is those tragic stories where a child like mine 'ends his misery' - and i would feel forever to blame.

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 01/11/2006 09:53

Why do schools seem to go out of their way to make things harder?????

Original poster
MrsForgetful · 01/11/2006 09:49

hi MTS

thanks for that...i'm just worried what to do next time he comes home ... my husband says i should take him back to scool and ask to see the year head (who seems understanding on our son)...so that she can see what he is like.

we only live 5 mins from the school...and i'd rather he feel able to come home that end up walking the streets as many do when they cannot face school... so am keen that my son knows i believe him...so he feels able to trust me etc...rather than him feeling he has to deal
with this alone

he's not statemented....and recieves no support at all in class. the OT recommended school provide a lap top...they refused- instead providing a gadget that he could only type on and print off....he needs something where all his work can be cd based (worksheets etc)...and another reason all this latest anxiety started 3 weeks ago when he had a history test...and he was given it in the same format as everyone else...on paper...as the history teacher had no way ofgetting the info onto his 'gadget'...whereas on a 'proper laptop' they could get the IT departmen to help.

so.....over halfterm i got a DELL laptop for £70 (bargain!) and he has gone back today with it....so we shall see if he is happier as he can now generally do work on it...and print off at home etc....i can then help him organise it all ....whereas b4 he had to print off at school/and stick work into his books...all very hard for him
now...i am going to scan any worksheeet/homework etc into our home pc,save it to a cd...so he can view it on laptop....

sorry to waffle on... its just i know school think that cos he has a 'gadget' then all is fine....but he still dreads doing school work cos they are still expecting him t copy off the white board onto his screen...which is hardly the point...they were recommended by the OT to offer 'computer based work'.....

grrrrrrr!

hope this makes sense!!!!

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 01/11/2006 09:42

I know that when I get myself worked up I have the same sort of symptoms (I have anxiety attacks too which bring similar symptoms too).

I have no idea of anything to suggest except home ed, but it all sounds very very real. I'm sat here all worked up for him.

ItalianJob · 01/11/2006 09:35

No specialist knowledge or experience of this, but what you say sounds plausible; panic attacks cause strong physical symptoms, and I don't see how you could fake going pale and clammy.

(formerly known as MummytoSteven)