parents evening with my dyslexic child i I am in tears please help

I haven't read all the posts, but I'm glad your son is getting a chance for a fresh start. As I know from bitter experience the erosion of self-esteem is one of the worst things about having a dyslexic child in a setting that can't/won't meet his or her needs. My kids had a swimming lesson today at a private school where their swimming teacher mainly works and he showed us around afterwards. He was telling us all about the specialist dyslexia centre the school has and how it is expanding, and how all the dyslexic children use laptops in class. There is no way I could afford that school for my children, but I must say I left with a very bitter taste in my mouth to see the very different education my dyslexic boys could have if we had the money.

Does he press too hard on the paper? One thing I use is some foam type underlay from laminate - I get children to put it under the paper and if they make holes they are pressing too hard. Ds also writes better using a decent fountain pen. Squared paper is useful too - helps with size and spacing. Ask her to show you the school's preferred cursive writing style - if it involves taking pen off paper mid-word it's the wrong one for him. F can be a problem letter. I can find the reference if you want it for the reasoning. Your son is not getting what he deserves - lucky he has you as his teacher doesn't seem to have a clue!

many teachers only get a 1 day training course (ie 10-3pm) in dyslexia

Can only agree with CF - the teacher sounds very out of touch with current educational philosophies & SEN. Newer teachers are usually trained (if fairly minimally) on Dylesxia and the LEA should run courses on SEN for teachers to attend, so there is no excuse for her lack of knowledge. Her lack of comapssion and rudeness is also inexcusable. Whether or not your son should have been up a tree is none of her business - if she was bothered, she should have dealt with it at the time, not bring it up at parent's evening which is a time to discuss your son's progress and how you, your son & the teacher can work together to help him overcome some of his difficulties. Definitely meet with the head, but remain calm (I know it's hard). Try to find out how she has tried to help with his handwriting - has she helped him sit properly? Given him different types/ shapes of pencil to use? Had him do something that he might be proud of? Does he have regular TAUGHT handwriting practice (rather than just copying out of a book - sometimes kids need to be shown how to form certain letters or write in a certain way) Has she provided some he can do at home so that you are involved? And how has she helped with his listening?

Sorry, I'm rambling - am just very at the way she dealt with the situation. Hope you are feeling a bit better about things. Let us know how you get on.

God this teacher sounds like a a right dragon... has she had any training in dyslexia? I find it shocking that teachers are so ignorant of dyslexia and special needs...

Good letter twig...

let us know how you get on...

Hi Overdraft, hope you and your ds are having a better day. Keep us informed of how you get on!

Let us know how today goes for your ds and you, overdraft.

A couple of resources she may need to see are DFES "Learning and teaching for dyslexic children", and Chris Neanon's "How to Identify and Support Children with Dyslexia" (LDA). It has a chapter on working in partnership with parents....

Well it's a shame she didn't learn some manners along the way isn't it?

Maybe she has some learning difficulties of her own. A lack of empathy and a complete inability to see that she is being rude must be indicators of something.

That would horrify her!

Lots of 10 years olds with no special needs have a hard time listening, remembering lunches and fiddle a lot. So I'm not sure what she thought she was acheiving by complaining about that.

A teacher who thinks that a 10 year old should do without lunch has no compassion whatsoever, furthermore it's none of her business if you bring his lunch in for him.

A mother at school today (in my preschool class) had her son (around 8) come in and tell her he had forgotten his lunch. he was almost in tears, and yet she told him not to worry and went home for it in a very matter of fact, these things happen kind of way. Imagine if she had said no - the poor boy would have got into a massive state and wouldn't have learnt anything for the whole day.

I think that you need to keep apart stuff that is just being a normal 10 year old and the dyslexia when you meet with the school. Do you think he doesn't listen and that he fidgets etc. If it doesn't bother you - then it could be that she is super sensitive.

Nothing to add apart from and on your behalf. you've been treated dreadfully!

But I wanted to thank you for giving me an awareness of dyslexia. Dd (6) is struggling terribly with reading/spelling/writing/concentration/fidgeting etc and I know she's of reasonable intelligence, so your thread has given me food for thought regarding investigating if there could possibly be more to her difficulties than I've ever considered.

OMG, I would have hit the roof, this is awful I think you need to have a meeting with the SENCO and the head to discuss this. Twiglett's letter is good as is the idea of writing everything down now whilst it is fresh in your mind. Oh, I've just read the SENCO was sitting there, it gets worse This needs to be the head and Govenors then.

Actually, I think you should contact IPSEA for advice and some support on how to handle this. You need an official apology from this teacher and the school to come up with a plan about how they are going to help him from now onwards. So sorry you have had this.

We're doing well with Toe by Toe too. It's expensive to buy but worth it. (I'm hardly marking ds's so I can use it again if necessary, but what is £27 if it helps your child to read?)

Toe by Toe (by Keda Cowling - google it if interested) was recommended to me by a friend who is head of a small primary school. Don't know if its relevant to you but involved 15 mins of work with DD1 a night.

There are so many resources out there - its just knowing where to find them and if the school are uncooperative (understatement in your case) you may have to do what you can yourself.

These comments infuriate me. I too have a dyslexic ds who was not getting a fair deal at school. There is a severe lack of training about a specific learning disability that affects 1 in 10 children to some degree.

First of all these people are turning it on you because they are failing your son and they are not equipped to deal with his needs. Problems with short term memory and organisation are a well-documented issue with many dyslexic children and handwriting is often poorly dealt with, even in the DI training course I have just completed to be a specialist teacher.

We as parents are expected to fight for our children to get a half decent education. The schools too often do not provide it, either because they are under-resourced or because they have not bothered to turn up for free training sessions, for eg the Dyslexia Association free training on making schools more dyslexia friendly. V pooruptake in our area.

The school is failing from the sounds of it. Good luck.

PS - Does he use Units of Sound or another programme? (Personal interest as I hope to start tutoring dyslexic pupils soon)

It gets worse . Was his previous teacher any more helpful or is this a problem of the whole school ?

Definitely write to the Head