More help needed for radio interview ....what are your thoughts on God Parents and Christenings?

We had ds christened basically as it's the 'done thing' - everyone in the family was asking when we were doing it. We aren't christian, in the sense of going to church or really having a belief in it, but there's always a possibility that ds will grow up and become a christian so we thought it would be nice to do. We also hadn't done anything with the family to celebrate his birth/show him off, so we felt a little party was a nice idea.

We had five godparents (!) which is a couple more than usual, but these 5 people are the closest to us, and we simply couldn't chose between them. Two (men) are dp's best friends, one is actually quite a devout christian which we also think is nice for ds. We also had bil as a godparent, because he wanted to, and to be honest we wanted him to too! We also have my longest term best friend as a godmother, we've agreed to be godparents to each others kids since we were about 11! One of dp's best friends girlfriend is the other godmother, she's also our best friend now too, so she was a natural choice.

Dp's bil is a bit useless tbh, but he is quite young and carefree! (19!) The rest of them are (like us) early 20s, and have been fantastic, they dote on ds (even though they have no kids or anything of their own yet) and spoil him rotten, so we know we made the best choice. We have also loved the fact this gave us the choice to 'honour' people we knew would be important in ds's life, who aren't necessarily family.

So it wasn't really done for religious reasons.

We got ds christened because I come from a fairly religious family and it was important to me.

Although it was mostly a lovely occasion, I do regret being pushed into a baptism during the main service, not because I didn't want the community to be present (that bit was lovely), it was the fact that another child was christened at the same time which I felt detracted from my son's big day and caused us a couple of logistical problems.

We chose a couple of relatives for political reasons and a couple who have a very strong faith. They were the real godparents tbh.

Hmmm, I didn't think it was a big issue. I wasn't chrsitened, dh wasn't christened so I didn't see any reason to have dd christened. i don't see the point in doing something for dd that I would be unable (OK and unwilling) to strongly support. We had a 'Welcome to the World' party for her and our family to formally welcome her but if she decides that she is interested in religion and/or being christened then that will be fine and I will support that decision. I am no expert but there are people in my family who are religious who can either pass on information to dd if/when she wants it or can give to me to pass on. I am not and would not withold information from her just because i don't agree with it (she's only 1 so it's not an issue yet).
Cod, surely there is a choice in whether or not children are christened? I don't see that it's illogical to allow a child to become involved in deciding and there is no comparison between deciding on whether or not to introduce your child to religion (which may or may not be good for them) and whether or not to introduce them to school and hospitals (which is almost definitely always good for them. I wouldn't ask my dd to do anything unless it was to her benefit or she wanted to do it and tbh I didn't feel stronlgy wnough about christenings to put it in either category.

(NDP explained this sooo much better and concisely than I just did!)

Cod, no chips. Perfectly happy with my choices re religion. You didn't attack me personally, I never said you did. I said you attacked the way I chose to raise my family. Anyway, I'm going to stop this now as I've said my piece & I don't want it to degenerate into a row.

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religion and breast feeding are definite No-Nos

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But isn't it, with the C of E? As the Established Church in England, I thought a lot of parish priests did tend towards this viewpoint, and that this why they marry couples with no committed faith, and why they baptise children from parish families that don't attend church?
I think this aspect of the C of E is a very attractive one and a good argument for keeping an Established Church.

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I also didn't get married in church for the same reasons.

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Cod - I do feel strongly about it when someone attacks the way I choose to bring up my family, yes. I have no intention of pushing my DD into any sort of religion, mainly because I do not hold a specific relgious belief myself. I do not like it being suggested that those who wish to let their child choose their relgion at a point where they can understand the finer details of what they are signing up to (i.e. me), are somehow neglectful or ignorant of their child's needs.

I'm god parent to 3 children and me and dh take it pretty seriously. The parents invite us to all sorts of things (last week dh went to see one in a concert and we both went to a school fundraiser) My god daughter comes round for tea once a fortnight on her own. She's turning into a teenager and I regard it as one of my jobs to be there for her if she's feeling she can't talk to her parents. We do birthday and christmas presents too and generally try to foster really good friendships with them and their families.
We're believers of the woolly liberal variety and think this is part of what we promised to do when we took the job on initially.
My dad's a minister and I used to love it when at the end of the christening he would walk the baby round so all the congregation could see it and say hello - really lovely moment for everyone.

Another believer in free choice when they are older - and besides, we aren't Christians ourselves. We did have a naming ceremony and choose Sponsors, in lieu of Godparents. They take their responsbilities very seriously and are now part of our family rather than just friends, IYKWIM.

I have refused to be a Godparent to a friends child because I couldn't stand in the church and renounce Satan - I can't renounce a mythical beast I don't believe in. My friend thought this was a silly reason to refuse because she didn't see the Christening as a serious event. I take my religion a bit more seriously than she does her's obviously.

don't think the Church would be happy with that Cod!

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its the same with getting married in church tho' isn't it?

[ducks]

You see that's just it, I'm not religious but obviously respect the wishes of those that are and which to have their children christened. But what is the point of doing it just because you feel you should, especially when you have no intention of going to church or bringing up your child religiously. I just don't get it - yet I know so many couples who do it.

I've only been to church sporadically through my life but I try to behave in a christian way.

I have 3 children, none of whom were baptised.
DD did this for herself before she got married - she wanted to do it and it was lovely ceremony - my boys haven't done and I can't see them doing it.

I am a godmother but I'll hold my hands up and say I have not been a good one. I am godmother to my neice and tbh they're not a religious family either - imho its one of those things you just do for a lot of families with no real meaning behind what you are doing iyswim.

for this reason when my best friend at work (who is 20 years younger than me!) asked me to be godmother to her daughter I had to say that I was honoured to be asked but wasn't up to the job and declined - we're still friends

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hayls, my dd was christened at the age of 6, after attending Sunday school for a year. She chose to be and also helped to choose her godparents: 1.the mother of her best friend, 2.my best girlfriend and 3. one of her uncles (uncle by marriage)
It was one of the best days ever in that dd knew exactly what she was doing and "performed" marvellously. Agree 100 per cent with Marina that during the service is great, ours was (and extra special because it coincided with the Mayoral Civic Service).
Lots of babies get christened in our church and then you never see the family again which is a shame.

KatieRocket, I so agree. DH wanted to get DD Christened as DS1 & 2 have been 'done' (they are sons from his first marriage). When I asked him why, he said it would be 'nice', this coming from a non-religious man (at times actually quite Anti-Christianity) is a bit of weak and odd reason. I asked him what the point was (he couldn't give one), and also what exactly had DH and his exW done to support their son's entrance into the kingdom of god (or whatever happens) - a big fat nothing. The only times the kids have been to church is for the usual weddings, funerals & christenings. Nor do they have any sort of spiritual/religous routine or teachings at home. Pointless if you are a non-Christian, IMO. Both DH and I would class ourselves as Agnostic.

Well, my cousins must certainly regret having chosen me as godmother to their dd1. I've been the most useless one ever, have missed most birthdays and Christmasses, don't even know how old she is (about 12 or 13)or when her birthday is exactly (too embarrassed to ask now)and have only met her a handful of times. It's been a major source of guilt and embarrassment to me but still hasn't made me do anything about it.

I should never have accepted but I was only 21 when they asked and didn't really think beyond the honour of it all. If anyone asked me now (don't imagine they will with my track record!) I would definitely say no.

We haven't had either ds christened and they don't have godparents - I couldn't bear the thought of inflicting it on anyone and besides we're not churchgoers or religious.

My own godparents were all very good at giving presents for Christmas and birthdays and to be honest that was all they did. Not that I wanted anything more from them, and I could even have done without the presents as I have a complete loathing of writing those insincere thank you letters for presents you probably didn't want in the first place.

OK, so now I sound really unpleasant and should probably leave my thoughts on godparents at that!

I'm also one who wants to let my child decide for herself whether she wants to follow a faith, rather than forcing one onto her, particularly one that I don't share. As I am no longer a practicing Christian it would be hypocritical of me to expect her to be baptised into a Church with no intention of bringing her up in that faith. I will teach her about the religions of the world when she is old enough to understand, and it will be up to her whether she chooses to follow a faith or not. I don't think it's quite the same as allowing her to choose for herself whether she goes to school - for me (and it is just my opinion) religion is a life choice, and one that she should make herself when she is informed enough to make the decision herself.