More help needed for radio interview ....what are your thoughts on God Parents and Christenings?

Re the 'Don't get me started on parents who go to church to get their child into primary school' comment.

I would have thought that as Cristains you would be delighted that non-believers would attend church for any reason. I thought that Christianity activly seeks to convert people.

And while we are on the subject I would have thought that you should be delighted that the child of non-believres got into a church school. That way the child can be brought to the understanding of God and be saved? Or do you think that a church school is simply a 'perk' of being a believer? I would have thought that the christian church would activly promote to non belivers, 'Suffer Little Children ' and all that.

I feel it was very important to have my ds baptised I am a catholic and have taken ds too church since he was born. We chose my sister and fiancé to be ds's godparents, as I did worry that we may loose touch with friends ect. My sister was very honoured to be ds's godparent as i am to be my nieces
Ds was baptised on his own which was lovely saying that e went to a friends christening yesterday and it was chaos. Vicar thought she was christening two little boys, called the first one up and 2 women came forward with there babies of same name. Then another appeared with her son? Was very confusing they all had at least 6 godparents each. I think that's to many IMHO.

By 'they would be brought up in that religion anyway' I'm only referring to Christian families, because even if you didn't have them baptised you would presumably take them to church!

? Not sure if you're agreeing or not cod!

Yeah, just tell 'em they'll burn in hell if they don't do as you say, that'll teach 'em. Ha ha ha

Message withdrawn

Just read through the thread, and wanted to add that I don't think it matters about making promises on behalf of the child - you're not anyway, you're promising that you will bring them up in a particular way. Confirmation is the time that the child 'chooses' to confirm the baptismal promises by making their own promises. So the child isn't being forced into a religion when they can't decide (other than being brought up in that way, which they would be anyway!)

We wanted to celebrate our children's arrival in the world but didn't want to have them christened as we are non-believers. We had Naming Ceremonies which were conducted by the Registrar in a local authorised venue (same as for weddings). They were lovely and we chose 'Supporting Adults' who are friends and had to promise to help us raise the children if we asked for help, be there for the children in times of need, to encourage them, etc. The friends are pleased to be their 'Godparents' (it's easier to refer to them as that) and I think have a special relationship with 'their' child (time will tell!). We have known the friends for between 15 and 25 years so I'm fairly sure of our relationships, though some we see more of than others.

I am a godparent to two of DH's neices (one Catholic, one C of E). DH is godfather to one of them too (C of E). When we were asked we explained that we didn't believe but hoped that we were 'good' people and that we would keep an eye out for the girls and the parents were fine with that. We have talked vaguely about leaving them money in our wills but that might be difficult as the one who we both 'have' is a twin so it might be a little unfair. I hope we do have a relationship with them at some point (distance at the moment means we seem 2 or 3 times a year) but I do think about them. Neither sets of parents are churchgoers BTW so I don't feel we are slacking in our religious duty.

Both of mine have been christened - was very important for us, as we are a Christian family. We both work in the church also, and have seen a lot of christenings where the family are not necessarily regular church goers, but want a welcoming ceremony, and see the christening as that.

We chose godparents as people who were good friends of ours, would be good role models for the children, and who would take a real interest in them, helping in the role of parenting. I think it is quite important (for us) that they are Christians, although one of ds' godparents by her own admission goes at Christmas and Easter - that's fine.

I still see it as something to be taken seriously - a way of extending your family - by inviting someone to be a godparent you are inviting them to be a part of your family.

I have no regrets about any of the godparents we chose - they are all very different, but enrich our childrens' lives in unique ways.

I'm a godmother to my best friend's daughter. Which is very odd considereing I'm a complete non-believer. She knew this but a Christening was the done thing for her, as was getting married in church. She doesn't go but is pretty traditional. I do feel as though I am expected to get bigger presents though. But prob would anyway since she's the daughter of closest friend. It's all daft because I wouldn't be the guardian for the child if anything happened. In fact, she picked a different friend for her 2nd daughter so makes a mockery of that in that kids wouldn't be split up would they? Don't mean my friend is making a mockery, just the "system" does. My brother picked godparents who then promptly buggered off to Australia.

I'm going to put my rant about DS1's godfather here anyway.

This chap, Ian, had been a really really close friend of ours, which was why we asked him to be DS1's godfather. However, after we'd had DS1, I think that Ian and his partner found coming to stay with us a bit dull as obviously we couldn't go out as much etc etc and so they started going to visit DH's brother and his girlfriend instead - and they got very very pissed off with us when we expressed how we felt about that.

DH has done his best to build bridges with them, but it has become clear that Ian just doesn't really give a stuff about DS1. They did come and visit a couple of years ago, but didn't bring anything at all for DS1, although it had just been his birthday. They haven't sent him a Christmas present for years. Ian did very grudgingly come with us on a day out to the Museum in Docklands before Christmas, but I was saddened when DS1 (who isn't the most communicative of children) said to him really sweetly "Would you like to come to our house one day?" and Ian just fobbed him off.

I would love to be somebody's godmother. Feel very angry that we've been let down so badly

We had dd christened when she was 2 months old. Dh and his family are catholic, he does have some beliefs whereas I don't believe at all.

We went to see the local preist when I was still PG and was at the time going to marry us and we told him we wanted our unborn child christened. I was completly honest and told him that I was a non-believer but that dh and I agreed that if dd was baptised she would have the option of going to church etc when she is older.

We had to attend 3 or 4 classes about baptism on sundays after mass which weren't full on like I expected them to be just about parenting really. I actually quite enjoyed them!

We picked my BIL and his fiance to be godparents as we were quite close and thought he would be a good role model for dd. I am an only child so I didn't have anyone on my side of the family to pick.

7 months after the christening BIL and his fiance split up, he got together with someone else and his ex (dd godmother) we rarely see and TBH she has always said she never really wants her own kids and didn't particularly bother with dd. I wish I could have BIL's new lady as dd's godmother cos she's fab and she loves dd to bits and we've only known her 8 months!

I think it's quite a "normal" thing to have your child christened and I'm glad we did it. Even though I don't believe if dd asked me, I would take her to church and if she believes thats fine.

Our dd was christened in the Church of Scotland. No godparents.

I go to church most Sundays and I really like to see the families from round about coming in to have their children 'done'. Who cares if they come every week after or not, usually they'll be back for weddings and funerals and often for Christmas and Easter or maybe for the children to go to Sunday school. I think the doors of the parish church should be open - who are we to judge people or decide what road their lives will take.

I come from quite a religious family, having gone every sunday until I left home, and my sister and mother still go. DH isn't bothered one way or another, but again his family are quite religious with a couple of members that are vergers at their church. Although I don't go very often now, it's still quite important to me and we got married in a church as well as having ds christened....partly I admit for family as much as for ourselves, and my mum takes ds with her to the odd service. The lady who married us, also did ds's christening, and at her suggestion (which was a lovely touch) we had the same hymns at both services. Hopefully she will be able to Christen this one (when she arrives later in the summer). With regards to God parents we chose friends who feel fairly strongly about religion too and I believe they took it as an honour. I would like to have the same godparents to this one too if they are willing.

We decided not to have dd christened. There was no way I was going to go to classes with the vicar or go to church for x number of weeks beforehand when I knew damn well that I wouldn't have gone afterwards. IMHO, doing this is completely out of order and it makes me quite cross - do people have no self respect? And don't get me started on people who go to church to get their kids into a primary school.....

I looked into some alternatives at the time, but there weren't any that I was comfortable with locally. If I'd have been able to find something not cringeworthy which was a simple celebration of the arrival of a new person into our family and a commitment to love, protect and guide her, I'd have done it. I wish there had been. My family were a bit taken aback, but there you go.

It seems to be the new fashion in churches these days to do batch baptisms The part that really annoyed me was that the Vicar didn't tell us about the other baby until a couple of days before the christening because he knew that I would be very unhappy about it and it was too late to cancel Still, we did get dh christened at the same time which was brilliant but it probably annoyed the other family too!

I can do a good line in rants about being let down very badly by godparents, if you're interested? DH and I really really regret our choice of godfather for DS1.

np - I had forgotten that we had to go to see the priest for a 'lesson' on baptism and what it all signified etc. There were only 4 of us, but as the only non-religious / non-church attender it was all directed straight at me!
I got married in a church as well - again for dh and to the shock of all my family / friends (and myself to be honest!).

erm, (deep breath)

a lot of my friends get their children christened just because they think its 'nice'

a ceremony to invite all their mates to, show off the baby and have a big piss up afterwards.

sorry, but its true

same with marriage, get married in church and get nice photos, church weddings seem to be 'posher'

they have to attend classes to join the church, and at these classes they have to make a promise or whatever to say they will attend 'religiously' and after the wedding/christening they never do. and the minister knows it

i have asked my mates about this, and they are not ashamed to say this

i couldnt critisise though, its up to them

i didnt get married in church or get my dd's christened cos i couldnt make a promise knowing full well i wouldnt keep it

plus i am not one teeny bit religious, not in the slightest

ds1 was christened at the same time as another child as we can only have the christening in the main service. The church also only like one weekend a month for christenings so that the service isn't extended every week for the rest of the congregation.
I didn't mind 'sharing' the day with the other family - the only bit that worried me was when the priest walked round the church with both babies - one under each arm! didn't look safe at all.
Having said all that I am not religious and don't attend church and would not have chosen to have my children christened. However, dh is and it is important to him - he takes the children to church each week as well - so I agreed.
As for godparents I let dh choose them as not really wanting a christening to then choose the godparents didn't seem right. So the majority are his friends and family - although my sister sneaked in there as well!
I do think that everyone asked did feel it was an honour, and all seemed genuinely pleased.

Message withdrawn

I didn't get married in Church and haven't had either of my boys christened.

I did have a religous upbringing and went to a church school run by nuns...but somewhere along the way I fell by the wayside.

Logic, I agree with you there...our new Parish Priest insisted on doing the families in batches and that did make the service long, as Cod mentions, and a bit disorganised for each baptismal party. I think an ideal solution ought to be to offer each family the chance to be baptised solo during parish mass or whatever. Knowing you are one of five must surely put some parents off a LOT...