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We're after your collected wit and wisdom (again!)

319 replies

Justine (mumsnet) · 02/02/2005 13:04

Hi all,
We've been asked to put together something for Scotland on Sunday's magazine supplement about the first year of parenthood. Something along the lines of "Things I've learned from my first year of being a mum". They're after pithy, witty one and two liners as well as a nod to the more serious stuff too. Feel free to contribute as many times as you like - I should imagine they'll want to include nicknames so it's your chance to be famous (in your mumsnet persona) in Scotland at least.

I'm racking my brains to think of something good but can't come close to anything as good as this contribution from Spod: "Opening a new box of nappy sacks to discover that they are a different colour to the normal ones (and subconsciously debating which you prefer) can be the highlight of your day.
And this from Anchovy: "When your small baby hasn't had a poo for two days, you should dress it in a babygrow with feet attached" which we put in a similar thing we did for the Guardian a while back.
So, over to you (and many thanks )
Justine, Carrie and Rachel

OP posts:
lockets · 02/02/2005 14:13

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jessicasmummy · 02/02/2005 14:12

dont expect to go out for a night, and not be glued to your mobile constantly... and then still phone at least twice to check baby is ok!

maretta · 02/02/2005 14:11

It's always a good idea to change that dirty nappy before you let them have one last go on the slide.

MistressMary · 02/02/2005 14:10

Hoovers, tumble dryers and cars are Godsends when trying to get baby to sleep.
You are Mum for life.
Buy quiet toys

colditzmum · 02/02/2005 14:09

It becomes quicker to milk a cow than to go and buy milk.

Fimbo · 02/02/2005 14:08

The first time you get a full night's sleep you think all your Christmas's have come at once.

jessicasmummy · 02/02/2005 14:07

a quick trip to the shops can no longer be done without half an hour of preparation time first!

vala · 02/02/2005 14:06

You know you?re a mother when you hear your mothers voice coming out of your own mouth on a daily basis

dinosaur · 02/02/2005 14:05

The first time you go shopping without the baby, you will find yourself standing in the checkout queue dreamily rocking the trolley to and fro.

mishi1977 · 02/02/2005 14:04

you will never undersand how they can make you so angry yet so happy in the same split second

colditzmum · 02/02/2005 14:03

A simple piece of kitchen towel can prevent your baby boy weeing in his own mouth, and it will also prevent that look of disgust he will give you, as if it is your fault!

vala · 02/02/2005 13:59

As Lockets has just so eloquently proven

lockets · 02/02/2005 13:43

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vala · 02/02/2005 13:42

Your brain REALLY does come out with the placenta!!

vala · 02/02/2005 13:41

The old phrase:

?It?s different when it?s your own?
Is so fantastically, wonderfully TRUE

lou33 · 02/02/2005 13:41

it is totally normal to get up midway through a meal to change a dirty nappy, then continue eating like nothing has happened

lockets · 02/02/2005 13:41

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Fimbo · 02/02/2005 13:40

You will sit in your pram - oh no I wont!

kid · 02/02/2005 13:40

not everyone wants to know your baby got a tooth, slept through the night, is on solids, but you can't resist telling them anyway!

vala · 02/02/2005 13:40

I now understand the meaning of something I read whilst pg:

?To have a child is to watch your heart walking around the room?

beansprout · 02/02/2005 13:39

People will not hesitate to look at you as if you are really weird if you have given your child a name they have not heard of.

Lucycat · 02/02/2005 13:39

an that those raisins will go straight through intact!

lockets · 02/02/2005 13:38

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Lucycat · 02/02/2005 13:37

Even when your dd is dressed in head to toe pink some old dear will say 'Oh what a lovely boy, what's his name'. Mine even had hair slides in her blond curls and a skirt on!!

Fimbo · 02/02/2005 13:37

Always have a carrier bag on hand for those "mum, I feel sick" moments.

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