Could Mumsnet add a disagree button alongside the current reaction options?

Exactly.

To be honest, I think the reactions should either be visible or be removed, as they seem to have caused so much angst.

I agree with you. Then the people who send sympathy flowers in a sarcastic manner will be visible for everyone to see.

Neutral on the 'disagree' button, but I think the 'laugh' reaction should be brought back and all reactions should be visible, so that the person who posts it has to stand over the one used.

That would reduce the amount of unpleasant/sarcastic use of the 'laugh' reaction, which was apparently a problem when first introduced. Many other sites have visible reactions, so it's not a novel idea.

That could have been interesting in the 'willy mark' thread...

Kelly I think thay stance would make sense if the responses were not often deeply negative, but they are, if those responses don’t put people off posting, I can’t see how a thumbs down would. As the responses are by far the greater evil.

it may even encourage some people not to post their horrific thoughts.

Hi @KellyMumsnet i was interested in this that you said, and we felt that it seemed a bit negative, when some people are being verbally nasty to a distressed woman, do you find that a bit negative too?

I also assume unhappiness. It’s the ones who want a pile on, to bully someone. They see someone disagreed with, and they rush in and join annd form an attack , just as they want to have a go, often ages after the initial first comment. So you can see it’s jist as they want to kick someone.

and that’s why I can’t get the angst over some emojis. The last thing I’d be doing is encouraging some of the people who disagree to use their words. In many cases a thumbs down will be highly preferable from the shitty aggressive posts we see.

So what can we do about it? I used to report a lot of posts saying why I thought they were unacceptable, many weren’t taken down, I emailed them to put forward my thoughts on the constant rudeness and attack mode some people had, I mentioned a few specific threads saying this woman lost a relative, this woman is going through a traumatic thing, they don’t need this, they are posting here for support and there are some supportive posts but they have to wade through the sniping to find them, it just resulted in a whole email full of waffling being sent back to me. Basically, I think they don’t really care and aren’t going to put any effort into it. They have their (often weird and naked) advertising and that’s ’job done’ for them I think.

And when posts are deleted I don’t think the poster is notified so there’s nothing to stop them carrying on, until the managers get fed up and ban them.

There’s just this collective ‘well don’t post on AIBU then’ or ‘well you’re going to get robust replies, this is Mumsnet’.

Then I stopped reporting things and instead posted a reply saying why their post was in appropriate, no one liked that either.

Now I honestly sit here baffled when someone posts something private and traumatic eg DH affairs, and I just wait for the shitty remarks. I never have to wait long.

I read threads here, as someone wrote recently there isn’t really a British alternative, so I’m still here. But honestly no idea why people come here expecting support, it’s a lottery, you might get it, you might not. Is that really what people can handle when they are already having a tough time?

And through it all, the managers will say ‘but do report any posts to us, we rely on you to keep this website helpful!’ Like, really?

I agree - plain speaking and honest opinions are fine, but there are a few people who seem to look for any reason to tear people down in the most unpleasant ways. I can only assume they're deeply unhappy in their lives.

Well clearly that’s awful and should be reported immediately.

but honestly I think in the main the emojis are tame, in comparison to the words people use, and urging them to use their words isn’t going to result in a more pleasant experience, I read some very very harsh words on here daily. Christ even in the style and beauty sub forum people attack each other.

Actually reading your reasons to not have it makes me agree.

BUT too much unpleasantness is allowed to stand. I really really like the way with Reddit you can give them a down click, and show your disapproval. But they are two very different websites, it’s easier to respond directly on Reddit and your words of disapproval/disgust are more direct.

If I remember correctly, people were saying they had spoken about their child who had died and they were receiving a laugh emoji, and obviously it was very upsetting for them and they were right to get rid of it, some people are shits and love to hurt people.

I used it a lot but for the funny posts, now I have to use a love (= extremely funny) or an agree (= funny).

No thanks, I'd rather not give people a handy and convenient way to put others down. Let them explain themselves using words instead of snipey little finger taps.

I'm not sure why it would be helpful to know that people disagree with you, if you don't know why they disagree with you. There could be lots of reasons.

Just what Mumsnet needs a button to show more aggression. Can we have a kick them emoji?

I find it very odd people don’t want the laugh emoji or the disagree one, when this whole forum is often utterly brutal.

I think they should be visible too.

Better still, can we take all of the buttons away please?

One finger up would be fantastic 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Don’t the management call it ‘robust discussion’ or something? I don’t see that much, mostly I see sniping, rudeness, looking down on people, ‘well I know you’re writing about this traumatic thing that happened but you don’t use paragraphs appropriately so I’m going to focus on that’, and the admittedly very entertaining way two posters will not let the other have the last word so they resort to name calling, and it would honestly just be quicker to have a button to press called ‘you fucking weirdo, fuck off’ or similar.

I’m not sure I believe the management want the reactions to be positive only as the amount of upset they allow to stand is laughable. Like teachers watching the kids beat the shit out of the vulnerable kid who is in care, then break time is finished and the next lesson is colouring in little love hearts and blue tacking them on the classroom wall.

If some disagrees with you enough to want you to know about it, then surely it would be better for them to post and actually say what it is they disagree with you about.

It's a discussion, a disagree button adds nothing, not to mention that it's invisible.
I would rather like the existing buttons to be visible. When someone makes an excellent contribution I do click "agree" but I often wonder how many people agree.

It’s Mumsnet. I think it’s fair to say that 500 people probably disagree with you on any one thing.

I’m innocent @AnAutumnCrow 😇 someone took against me and then HQ joined in