Thread deletions

I see quite a lot deleted with that message though, and the OP here requested it and was denied.

The message here is ‘don’t bring your problems to us because if we want to shit on them we will’.

A thread I was on really didn’t seem to be receiving the replies/validation that the OP had expected to get - imagine my surprise when I saw the deletion message, the wording of which seems to suggest ‘Ask and ye shall receive’ 🤨 There’s certainly something odd going on behind the scenes.

"Thank you but no, that wouldn't help as my daughter could still find the thread. I'm very worried. I would like it to be deleted."

But seems like that wouldn't be dramatic enough for you.

You’ve now also deleted the one about the wife and step kids going yachting with the ex husband/dad for the 18th birthday because you’re ’taking a look behind the scenes’. A thread that you obviously think was made up but therefore wasn’t causing distress to anyone, unlike the distress caused to @Radrover ☹️.

A clear deletion policy should be there anyway. Again, they could do it if they wanted to! Sometimes I think maybe they’re not actually women? I would find this more believable if it was a bunch of male employees sitting in an office somewhere deleting or not deleting threads. That’s how it feels like. Cold and impersonal. No concern for women, just doing the basics so they don’t get called into the boss’s office.

Is Becky really Steve, a 27 year old fella who really wanted to go into banking but failed the interviews?!

That completely contradicts what you've said. It literally says they don't usually delete threads. It wasn't subtle.

@Radrover I think the real answer is that could Mumsnet do something about it? Yes. Should they do something about it? Also yes. But they don’t care. They don’t care about you and they don’t care about your daughter and your relationship in the future with her is also something they don’t care about. They care about Facebook and putting peoples personal and private business (that they chose to share only on Mumsnet) onto a global site with many more members. That’s good. That’s free advertising. They care about the newspapers because that’s free advertising. Also good. When they say they are here to support people, they mean it the same way Elon Musk means it and the same way Mark Zuckerberg means it. But the only difference is that Mumsnet can’t even run a smooth website without crashing and all the problems that are there on Site Stuff every day.

When a newspaper or other social media picks up threads it's like a runaway train. You're no longer on Mumsnet but on other areas. That must be distressing. To be honest if a member is distressed it should be deleted even if others are invested in it.

@Radrover I’m still waiting to see why the two threads (yours and the football one) were treated so differently.

Other than saying ‘we fucked up and have no consistency’ then I’m still not clear. And if that is the reason, then why can’t Mumsnet just say that? 😵‍💫

Becky has just said some words, that’s all. But those words were irrelevant to the questions asked.

That's because deleting an entire thread can affect everyone who's taken the time to contribute to it.

For those of us who have taken time to answer an OP or just offer support it's not really anything more than disappointing that a thread has been removed, but the decent among us will understand it's because the person who started the thread is not in the best place and they'll have their reasons. Then there will be those who will be disappointed not to get an update 🙄

Is there another way can it affect everyone @LilyMumsnet ? I'm genuinely interested to know.

Some forums don’t allow thread deletions at a posters request at all. Though I can understand why people would be annoyed about inconsistent policy.

So why was the football thread deleted then? You could have moved it like you've just said.

Sorry, that last bit should have been together.

and “We try, as far as possible to let the conversation flow and not to over-moderate. Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups.”
So bearing that in mind, can you let us know why you deleted the football in the garden thread and not the other two mentioned on this thread?

Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups ups so let us talk about children playing football in gardens and delete the threads where the OPs are distressed by your repeated refusal to delete.

increasing the likelihood that my dd would find it causing all sorts of problems.

I think this is a really good reason to both request a post to be deleted, and in fact to have it deleted. Posters sometimes need advice and need to put a certain amount of detail in a post to receive relevant advice.

But there are two posters on this thread who have used the word ‘distressed’ re asking for their threads to be deleted and still Mumsnet have chosen not to answer them or delete the threads concerned.

It’s just a shame a post about children playing football can be deleted immediately, whereas these posts weren’t.

It does strengthen my feelings that occasionally a poster can come here with a distressing situation, get incredible help from multiple people, then can have the post containing all sorts of private distressing information deleted and consigned to the internet shredder.

But mostly that does not happen. Their threads to descends into snipping, correcting grammar, nastiness, individual posts are not deleted despite reporting, the poster can even come on their own thread and ask people not to make things worse, ask them to not cause harm, and still the thread stays up for anyone to see in the future.

Mumsnet is not a good place currently (and hasn’t been for a long time actually). You might get help and you might not, it’s a game of roulette and no one should think this is a place of shelter.

But at the same time, Mumsnet should not declare themselves to be a place of support, they should drop all the talk of “Make parents’ lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support” and “We try, as far as possible to let the conversation flow and not to over-moderate. Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups.”

So bearing that in mind, can you let us know why you deleted the football in the garden thread and not the other two mentioned on this thread @LilyMumsnet?

It seems mysterious and inconsistent the reasons given for deletion.

I've seen someone recently making a thread where they slagged off a specific generation and blanket blamed them for their unpleasant holiday.

When multiple people questioned this in a measured and non rude manner, she had the whole thing taken down because it 'hurt her feelings' being told respectfully she was being ageist.

I don't understand the reasoning behind that whatsoever.

I’ve never understood why threads can be deleted due to privacy

obv the poster knows it will be seen and replied on and some give major details that to some reading they must thing omg I know this person

I do think trending and sharing on fb should be stopped as thats where many issues start and then get deleted

Perhaps the football in the garden thread wasn’t as ‘juicy’ as real people’s real distress? Wasn’t pulling in as many views?