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Is it acceptable to imply another poster is a pervert because they disagree with you about a topic?

88 replies

TheHateUGive · 11/06/2026 13:10

So in a feminism thread, the members leep insinuating that I am a man with some sort of pee fetish because basically I disagree with them that women have to strip half naked or routinely wear several more layers than men. I've reported these posts as personal attacks but they dont seem to get deleted.

Can I clarify that it is ok to insinuate that someone is a different sex and a pervert because they disagreed with me? I'm asking before I head to other threads.

OP posts:
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LilyMumsnet · 11/06/2026 22:01

Hi all

We're closing this thread now as it's become a pile-on. Can we remind you that talk guidelines apply everywhere on site - including site stuff? Continued personal attacks will very likely lead to suspensions.

OP - please report concerning posts to us using the report button so that we can take a look and remove anything that breaks TG.

TownClock · 11/06/2026 20:51

I bet you're right @BrownTroutBluesAgain .

Of course he would have had a Groom of the Knob Nozzle. The job title probably still exists in name only. I bet Charles is saving it for Farage's elevation to the peerage.

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 20:38

TownClock · 11/06/2026 20:35

Yes, but can you imagine how long it would take to unscrew the 'knob nozzle' with those articulated tin gloves on?

🤣🤣 I really don’t want to imagine
but

I’m guessing if you had armour
you had money
so you had a man to unscrew your knob nozzle 😳😂

Knob nozzle is a much better description than cod piece Townclock 👏👏

TownClock · 11/06/2026 20:35

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 20:20

Think Youre missing the obvious access arrangement for toileting purposes thing sticking out at the front

of note
King Henry’s had to be the biggest.

Yes, but can you imagine how long it would take to unscrew the 'knob nozzle' with those articulated tin gloves on?

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 20:20

TownClock · 11/06/2026 20:05

This get up has to take forever in the gents.

Think Youre missing the obvious access arrangement for toileting purposes thing sticking out at the front

of note
King Henry’s had to be the biggest.

TownClock · 11/06/2026 20:05

This get up has to take forever in the gents.

Is it acceptable to imply another poster is a pervert because they disagree with you about a topic?
HalzTangz · 11/06/2026 19:46

TheHateUGive · 11/06/2026 13:46

Honestly? It's triggering as a Black women because it is something that white people use against Black women often as part of their overall racism. I'm not saying they all know i am Black, but that is why it is genuinely upsetting.

@Anotherdayanotherexcuse And no I cant imagine the numerous extra layers that women wear that men do not.

Ok so for me, underwear following by cycling shorts to stop legs rubbing then dress/skirt/trousers so at least 3 layers. Typical man, trousers and boxers.
Other women, underwear, tights, outwear. So yes women on the whole wear more layers, and as a woman yourself I'm seriously shocked you couldn't work out for yourself what layers women generally wear without persistently asking

MandyMotherOfBrian · 11/06/2026 17:46

TheyAreLovelyLovelyPeople · 11/06/2026 16:59

ofc whilst we are arguing about whether shifting our pants and trews from our arses to knee level, or holding skirt up and pulling pants down, to allow for non-wetting of our clothes whilst we urinate is 'removing' or 'adjusting' we are not mobilising against the patriarchy.

Cop on, wims. I include myself in this light admonishment.

Yep, but at least the derail has been taken away from the main thread.

Frankly, who fucking cares if women wear more clothes than men, or if takes them more, or less, time to remove, or not remove, them? Even if my fifteen minute loo break involves me whipping my tights on and off multiple times (or not) or standing in front of the mirror (without the cubicle) putting my lipstick on and brushing my hair VS my DH's three second 'whip it out and piss' visit - SO WHAT? I want to do all of that WITHOUT MEN BEING IN THE LOO WITH ME.
Which was the point of the original thread that the OP nicely derailed.

TheyAreLovelyLovelyPeople · 11/06/2026 17:05

Troutie I am so sorry you have to put up with such bobbins at work.

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 17:03

TheyAreLovelyLovelyPeople · 11/06/2026 16:59

ofc whilst we are arguing about whether shifting our pants and trews from our arses to knee level, or holding skirt up and pulling pants down, to allow for non-wetting of our clothes whilst we urinate is 'removing' or 'adjusting' we are not mobilising against the patriarchy.

Cop on, wims. I include myself in this light admonishment.

Agree
It has been a bizarre conversation and I was hoodwinked into it but it’s just so much part of what I have to put up with at work 😒

TheyAreLovelyLovelyPeople · 11/06/2026 16:59

ofc whilst we are arguing about whether shifting our pants and trews from our arses to knee level, or holding skirt up and pulling pants down, to allow for non-wetting of our clothes whilst we urinate is 'removing' or 'adjusting' we are not mobilising against the patriarchy.

Cop on, wims. I include myself in this light admonishment.

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 16:51

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 16:10

Yes, but the fact that one of us is using the common definition of remove to mean remove and one of us is using remove as short hand for partially remove (being generous here) doesn’t make either of us a pervert or any of the things other posters have alleged on here.

I think I’m being just as logical as you. For example when a nurse asks me to remove my trousers and knickers for my smear, I’m going to take them off completely. I’m not going to partially remove them like I’m just going for a wee.

It is much better, don’t you think, to discuss things reasonably like we are?

Edited

Maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree

Heres the Cambridge dictionary definition

‘ To remove means to take, move, or eliminate something or someone from a place, position, or existence. It is a versatile verb used across physical actions (e.g., taking off a coat), digital functions (e.g., deleting data), and abstract concepts (e.g., getting rid of fears). 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Remove can and does mean to move away from a situation
So remove from your backside, which in the definition constitutes the situation, when you need a wee

Its not a stretch to use this word as such, but we are all allowed to think differently of course

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2026 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Brunchatstephanies · 11/06/2026 16:40

Overtheatlantic · 11/06/2026 16:22

I think it’s challenging because it simply isn’t true, and I’ve been a female/woman for 58 years.

On another planet???

RaininSummer · 11/06/2026 16:37

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 15:15

🤣🤣
I felt the need to explain because tbh it’s not the first time I’ve had to

Im an architect and I am sick and tired of having to explain how women use a toilet to men around the boardroom to justify why
we need more cublucles
Why
no we can’t share whbs ( ever tried to explain mooncups to a bunch of 60yearnold males🤣)

why the toilet needs to be offset from the centre to allow room for a sanitary bin

Why, no, it’s not OK to sit half on a sanitary bin when needing a wee

Why our knickers don’t have openings at the front ( yes really !)

Why we take so much longer in the loo so need about 3 times the provision of shake and go men

so
sorry about that

Edited

I love this. Thanks for your efforts!

WinterBlues26 · 11/06/2026 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ghostofchristmaspasta · 11/06/2026 16:35

TheHateUGive · 11/06/2026 14:05

I dont think im being obtuse by wondering what these layers are.

I imagine the posters were thinking of things like tights and shapewear.

My favourite work outfit for example:
underwear
tights
shapewear shorts
shapewear bodysuit
skirt
high socks
+top half items.

spannasaurus · 11/06/2026 16:24

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 16:13

It’s not at all challenging to grasp that you think women have more clothes and actually have to remove them than men to pee.

I just disagree
a) it’s usually not more layers for the majority of women it’s the same as men,
b) no clothing is actually being removed for men or women
c) neither of us is a pervert or lacking in common sense or isn’t a woman and
d) this is not a defensible reason why we need women’s toilets for women only.

Edited

The discussion re women needing to remove more clothing than men was in respect to why it takes longer for a woman to use the toilet and that's why more womens cubicles are required than men's urinals. Not as a reason why women's toilets are for women only.

If you can simply unzip your fly and pee like men without needing to remove/move/displace any other clothing good on you.

Pickledonions12 · 11/06/2026 16:24

Overtheatlantic · 11/06/2026 16:22

I think it’s challenging because it simply isn’t true, and I’ve been a female/woman for 58 years.

I see. 🤣

Overtheatlantic · 11/06/2026 16:22

Pickledonions12 · 11/06/2026 16:02

I'm sorry? Are you inferring that I'm telling untruths? I'd really rather you didn't do that, thank you

Women generally have more clothes to remove than men when they pee.

How is that challenging to grasp?

I think it’s challenging because it simply isn’t true, and I’ve been a female/woman for 58 years.

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 16:13

Pickledonions12 · 11/06/2026 16:02

I'm sorry? Are you inferring that I'm telling untruths? I'd really rather you didn't do that, thank you

Women generally have more clothes to remove than men when they pee.

How is that challenging to grasp?

It’s not at all challenging to grasp that you think women have more clothes and actually have to remove them than men to pee.

I just disagree
a) it’s usually not more layers for the majority of women it’s the same as men,
b) no clothing is actually being removed for men or women
c) neither of us is a pervert or lacking in common sense or isn’t a woman and
d) this is not a defensible reason why we need women’s toilets for women only.

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 16:10

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 15:56

I think it’s a stretch really
I remove my trousers from my backside to wee
If we are talking about bathroom situations, which we are, people using the term remove are not referring to stripping off entirely

To me that’s just logical
Remove doesn’t have to mean get rid of entirely
it’s situational based

Yes, but the fact that one of us is using the common definition of remove to mean remove and one of us is using remove as short hand for partially remove (being generous here) doesn’t make either of us a pervert or any of the things other posters have alleged on here.

I think I’m being just as logical as you. For example when a nurse asks me to remove my trousers and knickers for my smear, I’m going to take them off completely. I’m not going to partially remove them like I’m just going for a wee.

It is much better, don’t you think, to discuss things reasonably like we are?

Pickledonions12 · 11/06/2026 16:02

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 15:46

I have never worn tights/panty hose, a slip or shapewear, most women don’t these days. My grandmother did.

It feels like you’re adding in extra layers that are not worn by the majority.
They do have shapewear for men as well as women, so that’s a wash.

I'm sorry? Are you inferring that I'm telling untruths? I'd really rather you didn't do that, thank you

Women generally have more clothes to remove than men when they pee.

How is that challenging to grasp?

BrownTroutBluesAgain · 11/06/2026 15:56

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 15:50

Well that’s the crux of the matter isn’t it.

You think remove doesn’t mean, well, remove.
to take something or someone away from somewhere, or off something. The men came to remove the rubbish from the backyard.

All we do is adjust our clothing by pushing down trousers & knickers or lifting a skirt/dress and pushing down knickers, we aren’t removing any of our clothing. I do remove my coat and hang it with my purse if there is a hook on the back of the door.

I think it’s a stretch really
I remove my trousers from my backside to wee
If we are talking about bathroom situations, which we are, people using the term remove are not referring to stripping off entirely

To me that’s just logical
Remove doesn’t have to mean get rid of entirely
it’s situational based

AmberTigerEyes · 11/06/2026 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I am a woman with common sense and I can count. I also don’t think we have extra layers of clothes that must be removed to pee.

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