Ageism should be against Talk Guidelines

It’s ageist to assume there is a singular way of dressing for 60 year olds. Don’t treat people as though they belong to an homogenous set, which can lead to stereotyping. Don’t assume that being in that age group means dressing is a way that’s inferior. Which bit of this do you struggle to understand? The casual ageism on mumsnet is offensive.

Difficult one. Because to quote a line from in the OP's opening post:

"The discrimination I experienced as an older woman amongst predominantly younger staff was extremely upsetting . "

Two mentions of age in that sentence. Is that not differentiating between people based on age? Yes it is.

Having read through the thread quickly, what I do not see is mention of bodies changing as we journey through life. Bulges developing where there was none before. Changes in mobility and flexibility, and how those factors might influence what people choose to wear. How there will be a statistical gradient in the styes people choose to wear.

Then throw in hormones, sex drive and mate seeking, things that are evolution driven that means any group A might style themselves different from group B,C,D etc.

And I don't think comparing ageism to other 'isms really works. Because there are many factors in the style people choose. Cultural, religious and so on. I think eventually most people will get to the point where strappy heeled sandals will be ditched in favour of more comfortable slip ons that feet can be pushed into while holding a door frame for balance.

Add it all together, and I don't think it is ageist to see different demographics in terms of what style they wear. Because in general it is true.

And now I will be accused of being ableist.

Don’t get upset darl, I’ve seen it all on here

I started full-time work in 1975. Most women weren't encouraged to pay into the company pension scheme. We expected to be able to claim our state pension at the age of 60. Then it eventually got raised by a further six years with very little notice to enable us to prepare. Most of us never received a letter about this. Men of our age only saw their pension age raised by a year. How can this be fair?

Christ. Why do people take offence at so much these days. The woman in that thread is entitled to describe her dilemma in whichever way she wishes. It is NOT offensive. Get a life, OP.

I think denigrating or dismissing people's opinions simply because they're older is distasteful and ageist. But as someone in my late thirties, I have said both: "This doesn't look too 'teenage' on me, does it?" and "This isn't too old lady-ish, is it?"

I'm not denigrating either - it's just a shorthand way of saying I don't want an item of clothing to make me look like I'm trying to compete with my teenage children and clutch at a desperate second youth, nor do I want clothing to age me and make me look much older than I am, more comparable to my mother's generation.

What I absolutely hate is the assumption that older people are right wing Tory or even worse, Reform voters.

More older people did vote for Brexit but again if you acknowledge that fact it some how equals ageism

How could MNs ban ageism? There are so many threads berating young people!

I was told it was ageist to refer to a 70 yr old as old 🙄

What I absolutely hate is the assumption that older people are right wing Tory or even worse, Reform voters. I've just reached 70 and a lot of my friends are 'left wing loonies' as the press liked to call us, who protested at Greenham Common.

Do I dress like a Muslim woman? Scroll down to picture of person in full burka.

That’s equally offensive

You’re in your 20s? Wow you could never tell.

Utter bollocks

Seems like you are never too old to be insecure and seeking validation.

FFS, is that all you can see here? Nobody's said we think we look like teenagers, nobody's said we're all gorgeous, we aren't that bloody stupid or desperate.

Being aware of discrimination and negative stereotyping against your demographic is not the same as demanding compliments & pats on the head 😡 Do you accuse brown-skinned people, LGB and those with disabilities of seeking validation or is it only clever to dismiss & patronise old people?

I can't describe what a pain in the arse it is to always be in the vanguard of fighting prejudice. We started work without equal pay, continued on to win the rights & freedoms women now enjoy (and take for granted), and we're still having to battle for recognition as fully human beings - in this case, against the same women whose rights we bloody got for them!

Not validation. Basic respect.

Or they could say that it looks grannyish and everyone will know what they mean. Just like some people might describe someone as dressed like a teenager or reference the mum uniform or dressed like a grandad or say someone is dressed like they are going on a cruise and everyone will know what they mean.

The question is why grannies care that younger people might think that their clothes are ugly? I thought mumsnet was full of women insisting that after the menopause they dgaf what people think of them? Seems like you are never too old to be insecure and seeking validation.

@Trackstar Yeah.
So they could say it's ugly, or too loose or it's old-fashioned (all of which they probably mean). Or keep it simple with it doesn't suit your figure.

See? All clothing-specific, with no need to reference 20% of women as emblems of ugliness.

So should ableism and transphobia, but you know, these things bring traffic and revenue, so mn allow them.

Well it probably is ugly to a 20 year old. Just like the threads here about leggings or leggings with short tops or short shorts etc that 20yr olds might wear where they are deemed ugly. People have different tastes and those things tend to change as you age whether that's fashion or wine or food and people often describe things they don't like as ugly or chopped or whatever denigrating word you want to put in there.

It's not about differences. It's about stereotyping and denigration. Old women are assumed to all dress in a similar style, and that style is deemed ugly. Both of these judgements are insulting.

But maybe some PPs are the same ones who, on another thread, couldn't see what was wrong with a statement that black women don't swim because of their elaborate hairstyles.

Exactly. The insistence that there’s no difference between the styles worn by 20 somethings and 60 or 70 somethings is just not rooted in reality, and actually betrays a deep insecurity about being older. It’s pure denial.

Can you explain what you mean?

On the WASPI thread there were numerous posts from women born in the first half of the 1950s saying that they didn’t agree with the WASPI campaign and that they had been informed of the changes in plenty of time.
Some posters still banged on about entitled boomers, completely ignoring that there were a variety of opinions.
It’s the generalisations that are ageist.
I don’t think the style thread is the worst example but I do notice that when relationships are discussed older women get a rough ride on here and negative assumptions are made.
There’s a lot of ageism on MN and it doesn’t get taken seriously. It’s the stereotyping that’s the issue. I haven’t noticed that many posts from older people complaining about the younger generation to be honest. I don’t go on Gransnet though.

How so?

Some older people very much need to grow up.

Hush Puppies? I am nearly 70 and haven’t seen a pair of those for at least 30 years. Do they even still exist?
They do, and I have a beautiful pair of Hush Puppies long brown boots from a year or two back (age 37 if relevant).