Why was my post deleted?

It's because the 'leech' comment wasn't reported I would imagine.

@BlackMilk As has been said, it can be the way you word things.

'I think you many need to do some research OP, and learn more about this..'

.........is fine.

'You sound as thick as pigshit OP!'

.........not so fine.

It can be hard to know what to say, and what not to say, but some people will report a post if they see personal insults. (And calling someone thick is rude.)

I mean calling someone a fucking leech is rude, but if someone doesn't report it, then it will probably stay.

Yes, I know - she was asking why the posts calling the OP's friend a 'fucking leech' had been allowed to stand while her post calling the OP ridiculous was deleted.

You must know the difference between 'robust discussion' and insulting someone.

It wasn't even a thread that invited robust discussion, like someone wanting to discuss religion, politics or the welfare state. It was someone with a dilemma about a friend. There was simply no need to insult them.

I'd like to see more of those kinds of comments deleted actually. They add nothing to the discussion or the site as a whole. They are just one poster lashing out at another for no real reason.

This section is for site issues like ad display problems, logging in problems, etc.
You need to email mumsnet at [email protected] and ask them why your post is deleted. That is the email address regarding post deletions, bans etc.

But this poster DID personally attack the OP, if you see her further posts on this thread. That will explain why it was deleted.

The OP of that thread did not deserve to be called ridiculous.

I’ve read that thread and it sounds like your post was much worse than any of the others. It was attacking the OP. Calling her ridiculous is going to get your post deleted.

It’s this bit-
I did say she was being ridiculous (as in by getting over involved) and that I thought she must be enjoying the drama to come on here and give all the details

That may not have used offensive language but it is an attack on the OP.
A bit like if I were to say ‘you’re being ridiculous posting on site stuff about getting a deletion. You're obviously a real drama queen.’.

Can you see how it’s a bit different when you say it about the person posting? You aren’t just disagreeing or offering a different opinion, you are saying she’s ridiculous.

Yeah you can say you think the things someone are saying are unpleasant or rude but you can't call another poster a direct insult. You can disagree but if someone finds it too personal and reports then it's usually removed.

Try and think of how you could've said what you did in a less offensive way. Making it plain it's your opinion on how someone seems or sounds by their words on here or by their actions in OP. Rather than an attack on their character.

You can say anything you want (as long not racist or something) about the person who is the subject of the post but you can’t say insulting things about the OP. Just need to give your opinion with careful use of words. Sometimes I think mumsnet go too far with the deletion, particularly if an OP is being unkind about a third party but no one is allowed to be unkind to the OP.

This is undeniable.

What makes you think it's ok to attack posters because they post in aibu though? What is it that makes people think it's fair game? A personal attack is never ok, on any part of the site.

Sorry, you're quite right!

Well, as your post isn't there anymore it isn't possible for us to guess!

If you'd called the OP a fucking leech you could be reported and deleted.

But you just called a third party a fucking leech.

Less likely to be deleted for being harsh to a third party mentioned in the OP, than to the OP herself, as it can't be deemed a personal attack. If they'd called the OP a leech, they'd probably have been deleted (if reported).

Similar happened to me @BlackMilk . No idea why. The mind boggles.