Political threads, bullying and echo chambers

At least I don't name change just to goad and insult people! Unlike some on this thread it seems.

Recollections may vary and names may change 🤣

There's no such thing as a closed thread.

Maybe OP should have put a message up in her first post of this thread. "I have created this thread to have a moan about some posters on Mumsnet, and if everybody doesn't agree with me about how jolly mean they are then I am going to flounce".

Also, I'm totally loving MN's "Recollections may vary" type post 😆

I’m talking about the general issue of closed threads as I thought I explained in my post. I see it crop up fairly regularly on site stuff and more by posters confused that threads on a public discussion forum would be closed to posters outside a subgroup.

Trigger warning? Good grief, we have very different ideas of the use of TWs.

On the long running closed type threads it just makes sense for that to be clear from the outset. It saves other posters wasting their time and the thread regulars from having their private chat/bubble burst. It reduces threads like this coming to site stuff.

It is really not obvious on some of the long running threads that new joiners are not wanted. MN is a public discussion forum, if a thread is meant to be a closed group of posters then it needs to be clear from the outset.

As for it being a breach of MN etiquette to post to a publicly posted thread - not unless they are trolling or making personal attacks it isn’t.

Exactly. There was alot of purposeful goading as well.

I think MNHQ's statement on this thread made it politely clear that what the OP was engaged with on the other thread simple wasn't cricket.

The thread in Q has a very clear and transparent title and is on #20 of said thread. A person of average intelligence should be able to deduce the topic + that it is a long running thread from those elements.
OP went on to purposely goad then name chanted and kept 'contributing' to the thread before making spurious accusations on here. They were never posting in good faith.

To be fair it’s right there in the opening post of the series of threads OP’s complaining about. She can’t claim ignorance.

Well, tbf the thread the OP has gotten so upset about has it's actual aim in the actual title itself.

Maybe a disclaimer in the stem post to say “just a bunch of like minded mates, not looking for wider discussions” would work.

Oh my god, do we really need to put a TW on threads for those who can't read the room and get all victimised when it's explained to them?🤦‍♀️

I’m amazed how people cannot just walk away when the conversation becomes circular on an anonymous forum. OTOH I’ve been amazed by this since at least the time of bitnet and bulletin boards so I don’t imagine it will change anytime soon. I suspect liberal name changing aggravates problems on MN and most forums don’t permit frequent name changing for good reason.

The subject of “long running” or “closed” threads comes up moderately regularly, I’m not sure the pub analogy fully holds for all types.

There are threads which are small groups of MNers who may have met, know each other and have entirely innocuous conversations which are meaningless to anyone not involved. The pub group speaking Klingon - its pretty obvious others will have nothing to contribute.

There are the long running threads in topics which are topic specific eg some of the telly threads or gardening type threads where anyone is welcomed if they are interested in the subject. Joining a Christian topic thread to evangelise atheism or Vegan topic thread to extol the virtues of rump steak is plainly a dick moveon these threads. Both these types would be the pub table labelled “garden discussion club get together, new garden enthusiasts welcome”. Again easy to recognise within a few posts.

Then in between there are small groups sharing a particular viewpoint on politics, religion, child rearing etc which look like regular public forum discussions on mainstream topics but are not. In a pub you would have the visual cue of the closed circle of friends, but when these “closed” threads appear in active from a general or wide ranging topic then its hardly surprising people assume it is another discussion thread open to all, not a small group of like minded posters not wanting new joiners. Its this last group which seem to generate threads in site stuff. Maybe a disclaimer in the stem post to say “just a bunch of like minded mates, not looking for wider discussions” would work.

Agreed. I reported at least one personal attack which was deleted but there was little point in engaging with them.

Indeed! And I exercised my choice to walk away from that particular thread because I felt that certain posters were just picking a fight and not actually wanting to engage in good faith. We all have that choice.

It's very easy to get sucked in and feel like you have to respond, but we are all grown ups - even if some don't act like it! It is sometimes quite freeing to realise that we don't actually owe anyone a response, and even less so if they are behaving like a playground bully.

You missed my point entirely - OP is saying "she's never seen a thread like this".

My response is that most threads are like this and it's impossible to be a long term poster without seeing such threads. False naivety, why?

NB. Re handback and charity - why do you think people who buy expensive handbags don't contribute? and even if not, why do you think such post will make them change their mind re handbag, not just irritate and put them off charities completely?

You were subjected to a disgusting pile on a couple of days ago.

There are some vile posters on MN, and yes, there are sometimes group pile-ons. I have been the target of petty, bullying posts myself on occasion.

But the thing about MN is that you are always free to just walk away. You aren't under any obligation to keep posting on a thread. Just scroll on by and leave the children to play in the playground. You can even name change if you want to.

It's an Internet forum. These people are not your friends or family. It doesn't really matter what they think. Don't take things too much to heart!

I agree I'm quite happy to post on generic threads that I hate Christmas but wouldn't seek out threads where people were asking for advice on Christmas menus or presents to do it.

I think reading the room is always a good idea, ie reading at least all the OP’s posts on a thread before commenting.

It’s very annoying when a parent plonks onto a childfree thread to tell us all what they think we’re missing, and if someone came into the long-running chat threads in the Litter Tray to tell us all that they hated cats, I think it would be entirely reasonable to give them very short shrift.

Do you not think though that if you have people talking about expensive handbags then if someone suggests giving money to charity instead one of them might think 'You know what, I think she's right, maybe I should give something to charity?'.

Or if you have people talking about Christmas in November then if someone suggests life would be easier for us all if we didn't have 2 months preparing for Christmas one of them might think 'I not going to be so obsessed by Christmas'.

A forum isn't a forum if you don't have different opinions. It isn't free speech to feel that you can't contradict somebody. Threads can't be 'derailed' just because it goes a different way from what you intended. If you don't like what someone is saying you can ignore them but even better if you think what they are saying is incorrect then you can tell them why you think that.

Would you be equally surprised if those people then told you to fuck off, ignored you and carried on with whatever it is they were doing though?

I'm not saying they're right, just that it's a bit naïve of you to think you can elbow into a group to declare your completely opposing views and not receive backlash for it.

I'm sorry you feel ganged up on and bullied @TenLittleSweetWrappers It's not nice to feel like that, and it can appear - when many people are disagreeing with you, don't like your opinions, and start ignoring you - that you're being bullied.

However, after going through the thread in question, I don't think it was the case on this occasion, I think people were just getting annoyed. I don't think calling people flag shaggers is particularly nice, and it raises my hackles when someone says this, just because someone isn't left wing, and may like to fly an England flag. So that would have got my back up if I'd been on the thread. (Although I do agree painting them all over town/on traffic islands etc is a bit ludicrous!)

As has been said, it's poor form to hop on a thread (for example) where people are saying how it would be a good thing if Nigel Farage was Prime Minister, and start attacking people, accusing them of being thick, racist, flag shaggers etc. Or to go onto a thread about being an atheist, and tell people they're wrong and stupid to not believe in God. Or to go onto the childfree board, and tell posters they won't know love until they've had a child, and they'll 'change their mind eventually.' Or to go onto the Christian board and tell people they're daft for believing in God, and call God the sky fairy and so on...

Even if you don't share the views, it's pretty rude to plop onto a thread and start being combative with the posters on there.

I'm guessing MN didn't tell you to stop posting on the thread. More like 'feel free to hide the thread.' I doubt they would ever tell you to stop posting.

Also, I didn't see people telling others to ignore you, just someone saying 'posters are free to not engage with any given poster.'

As I say, I'm sorry you feel victimised, and I hate pile-ons, (and some posters did have a go at you,) but I think you're in the wrong here, and most of the posters were just being defensive, and actually had some valid points, as you were being quite argumentative. No need to leave the site though. Have a break for a few days and then come back...

I came in just after the Moldies.

Then there were the Wolefs, & Shiney’s crowd, & later on the insanity that was the Thighs…

Good times.

ETA: Flouncers' corner is >>>> that way.