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I've been around for 18 years

44 replies

JockTamsonsBairns · 25/05/2025 21:20

What the heck is going on?

I've just posted an inoculous thread on AIBU, and I've been torn to shreds.

I've been around here since 2007, and I genuinely don't understand this hostility.

When did the vibe change so massively?

Are we all ok with this?

This isn't what Mumsnet used to be.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
DaisyChain505 · 08/06/2025 09:26

Hope you’re feeling better @JockTamsonsBairns

JulianFawcettMP · 08/06/2025 01:00

@JockTamsonsBairns Fair play to you for coming back. I hope things have improved for you

JockTamsonsBairns · 08/06/2025 00:55

Just seen this.
I was in a pretty bad place a couple of weeks ago, so definitely shouldn't have posted on AIBU.

And, I agree, I wasn't "torn to shreds" at all. I was just feeling a bit emotionally fragile, and all out of sorts.

There was other stuff getting to me a few weeks ago, but I put my focus on to this - which wasn't the right channel.

I've been around long enough now to know that posting on AIBU isn't really a good move when feeling emotionally fragile.

Feeling slightly embarrassed now at being so 'delicate'.

I'm no stranger around here, and I knew what AIBU was like.

Apologies.

OP posts:
YourQuirkyLimeSnail · 26/05/2025 14:16

LoafofSellotape · 26/05/2025 14:05

If you're an oldie then you should know not to start a thread in AIBU 😉

Penis beaker is what happened to MN, ruined the place.

It wasn't all fields even before PB.

I got ripped to shreds on many occasions in my pre-PB posting on AIBU days. Even what seem to be the most straightforward threads have always had people willfully misreading or misinterpreting and going in on the attack.

It's always been that way from my experience from 2009.

LoafofSellotape · 26/05/2025 14:05

If you're an oldie then you should know not to start a thread in AIBU 😉

Penis beaker is what happened to MN, ruined the place.

TrolleySong · 26/05/2025 14:01

DaisyChain505 · 26/05/2025 07:36

@JockTamsonsBairns the pattern I usually see with AIBU threads is that the poster doesn’t really want helpful suggestions (because they’ve probably already thought of those themselves but they don’t want to pick those options) they just want a place to have a moan and be told their feelings are valid.

Yes I see the annoyance in your situation with booking a Drs appointment but there ARE many ways around it, you just want a solution that falls into your lap.

Yes, or just say you’re venting!

YourQuirkyLimeSnail · 26/05/2025 13:43

I've been around on and off since 2009 and it's always been like that.

As have the 'MN didn't used to be like this, why is everyone so horrible?' threads that occur every few days :)

MsDDxx · 26/05/2025 13:36

Posters were just frustrated with you OP because the solution was simple and obvious - ring on your day off and book the day off for your appointment. It’s what we all have to do.

DaisyChain505 · 26/05/2025 07:36

@JockTamsonsBairns the pattern I usually see with AIBU threads is that the poster doesn’t really want helpful suggestions (because they’ve probably already thought of those themselves but they don’t want to pick those options) they just want a place to have a moan and be told their feelings are valid.

Yes I see the annoyance in your situation with booking a Drs appointment but there ARE many ways around it, you just want a solution that falls into your lap.

ARainyNightInSoho · 26/05/2025 07:32

I’ve been on MN for 18 years. There have been lots of changes but I don’t think people have got nastier. If anything, I find it a bit blander than it used to be. People used to ‘know’ each other on here which which meant it was funnier, but often resulted in cliques and personal attacks. I rarely see that now. But, I stopped going on AIBU very soon after I joined as it like being in a room with drunk people. Avoid AIBU OP. Try Chat instead.

innocuous

Spudthespanner · 26/05/2025 07:29

You must be hard work in real life if you think you were “torn to shreds” on your thread. Were you bollocks. I can’t stand people who just want to moan and aren’t actually interested in a solution because if they’re giving a solution they can’t moan and whinge anymore.

ilovesooty · 26/05/2025 07:19

Everygrain · 26/05/2025 07:14

It's dreadful here, I don't post much but would never start a thread

No one is forcing you to stay if there is nothing on the whole site that you find positive.

Everygrain · 26/05/2025 07:15

healthybychristmas · 25/05/2025 23:29

You haven't been here with that name though.

Are you stalking

Everygrain · 26/05/2025 07:14

It's dreadful here, I don't post much but would never start a thread

screwyou · 26/05/2025 06:47

I joined when DD was born in 2003 and it was always known then that AIBU was a board not for the faint hearted. Where do you think the term vipers came from?

GoldLash · 26/05/2025 06:25

Just don’t engage though with the posters making snippy comments.

don’t bite with them because that’s what those particular keyboard warriors want.

So I don’t give them what they want.
They’re no fun for me to read either. I get no enjoyment from the spiteful posters. They bore me.

GoldLash · 26/05/2025 06:16

MN was really nasty around 2005 when I joined

Posters used tear each other to shreds in quite a vile way

So I stopped for a few years

Apart from a few savage posters it’s much better now

FortyElephants · 26/05/2025 06:16

Dude. One person wrote you a slightly snippy response. Mumsnet has ALWAYS been like this. I've been here 17 years and seen SO MANY of these threads. I even started one once when I was feeling sensitive!

CurlewKate · 26/05/2025 06:16

Blimey! If you think that’s being “torn to shreds” can I direct you to the Education or Politics or Royal Family boards!

I remember you from a million years ago, by the way! I remember someone questioning your user name. Nice to “see you”

isthismylifenow · 26/05/2025 06:09

You should know better than to post in AIBU then OP.

I've been here a very long time too. I have never started a thread on that board. You just never know which way it's going to go.

countingthedays945 · 26/05/2025 06:01

Been around longer than that and it amazes me that this surprises you!

SummerIce · 26/05/2025 01:31

ladeedarrrmmy · 26/05/2025 01:17

How can you not know that posting in AIBU is certain death? I posted there in 2015 and had to leave the site for a while lol

Except OP’s thread had nothing of the sort!

bibliotek · 26/05/2025 01:21

ladeedarrrmmy · 26/05/2025 01:17

How can you not know that posting in AIBU is certain death? I posted there in 2015 and had to leave the site for a while lol

Same!

ladeedarrrmmy · 26/05/2025 01:17

How can you not know that posting in AIBU is certain death? I posted there in 2015 and had to leave the site for a while lol

TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 23:38

RareGoalsVerge · 25/05/2025 23:29

Checked out the thread.
Nope. All perfectly normal.
You got plenty of practical suggestions, some sympathy, a relatively modest about of sarcasm. No shred-ripping at all.

Yes, this. I’ve been on here for 14 years, and that thread seems perfectly in line with the kind of brisk, broadly sympathetic, but no-nonsense advice with the occasional outlier you’d associate with Mn. A thread where people go to a lot of trouble to make genuine suggestions, only for an OP to tell them that literally everything they’ve suggested is impossible, tends to make people slightly cross , though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread