I’m getting really fed up of my posts being deleted.

Maybe they are more intelligent than you and understand the nuances, which would make you the more stupid one for not getting what they mean.

No, that would be asking if they don't understand.

I'd argue that "Are you stupid?" is actually considerably more offensive than "You're stupid".

The former is essentially saying the latter, but with a really nasty, sneering, bullying undertone.

I mean you’ve asked posters here if they’d cry in real life, said we’re not in high school, accused us of being delicate… as well as stupid.

I mean you’re pretty free with the insults. I’d be interested to know whether you had something interesting to say round the edges of all the insults, tbh.

I wouldn’t burst into tears, but neither would I stay to chat with someone so ignorant.

Remember you are talking to strangers. Not family members or old friends but people who have no idea what kind of person you are.

Round here you can swear and be emphatic but you don’t call other posters names.

It’s not a difficult rule to follow. For most of us. Remember MN don’t read every post. Other posters must be reporting you for being hostile.

And absolutely yes, it isn’t compulsory to hang out here if you don’t like the delicate immature flowers you’ve described us as.

“It’s was never meant as an insult or personal attack. It’s something that is thrown into conversation to make someone reconsider their stance.”

it’s not exactly a compliment either though is it?

Having put your point across on the matter in hand, if what you intended was for someone to then reconsider their stance on the subject, then why don’t you just say that instead of asking them if they are stupid?

I understand that it may be a common turn of phrase for your family/friends/local area, but MN users come from all over, so how would they know?

you sound scary ngl

Exactly

I think we can all see what the problem is. Mumsnet don’t always get it right, but I’m as sure as I can be, that they’re getting it spot on with this poster. 👀

Just move on…sometimes people want a debate without drama and being called stupid, if you want a post/debate taken seriously remove emotions from it before just posting the first thing that comes to mind

If it is only one phrase ...'are you stupid' which is getting you deleted then make your points without preceding them with this phrase. Simple! If you still get deleted then you need to look at the tone of your arguments. And yes .. the phrase ' are you stupid' is rude. It makes a mockery of the other person's argument before you present your own point of view. This may be acceptable within your own family in the course of discussions where you know each other well and maybe all equally feel free to use this phrase, but in general discussion with those you don't know it is poor form. Derogatory and not within the realms of respectful, polite differences of opinion.

I'm pretty thick skinned but that is an outright attack in my book!

Also Mumsnet can't partially delete a post, so the whole thing has to come down.

I see it as a North v South issue.

Where I’m from we call a spade a spade and will be blunt, but perfectly honest and clear.

However, a lot of southerners take offence as they’d rather ‘tell little white lies’ than actually speak honestly with someone and tell them what the problem really is.

Luckily, just like in real life, we can choose to ignore them. 😂

I'm wondering that too - how can anyone not realise that saying "are you stupid" is rude?

Asking someone ‘are you stupid’ is a deliberate turn of phrase where I’m from.

I'm interested where (approximately) this place is, as everywhere else it's deemed to be insulting and a personal attack.

The irony of not knowing it’s rude to call someone stupid.

You ask someone if they're stupid and then wonder why your post is deleted? Good grief 🤣🤣