I’m getting really fed up of my posts being deleted.

I mean, you were the one who did the search and posted the link, why would it be your fault 🫣

you are ridiculous

I don't know of any language or culture where asking someone if they're stupid was ever anything other than a personal attack. Acting like it's normal is disingenuous.

all you need to do to stop having your posts deleted is to stop being rude. Maybe take a deep breathe and don't over-invest to the extent you have to insult the person to get a point across. It really isn't difficult.

I’m northern and would still consider being called or asked if ‘I’m stupid’ and very rude. The OP should argue with factual based opinions, keep it civil and you’ll find your arguments will be listened to more. IRL it’s akin to adopting a moderate engaging tone of voice in discussions. Much more powerful than name calling

Calling it a turn of phrase doesn’t erase its meaning. You are calling the OP stupid. If you criticise the actions, not the person you will be fine.

‘You total idiot’ is a no. ‘That might not have been a wise thing to do’ is totally fine. They do actually mean the same thing though, so I get your frustration. I’m a teacher and we have to do this all the time to avoid complaints from parents. My son’s teacher didn’t get the memo on that one though and still speaks to them in a refreshingly blunt way!

Off you pop then 👋

You were rude on a number of occasions. Not clunky....rude

I sometimes think that posters are being a bit doollally and you know what I do (generally) ? ....I scroll. I don't post, I scroll on by!

Try it. Its very freeing 🙄

You don't have to appease anyone. You just have to be courteous and polite

If you don't want to be kind , then find a way of saying what you want to say which isn't accusing someone of being something WHICH YOU HAVE ZERO IDEA ABOUT

You potentially have committed a crime, ableist language which you’ve continued to use could fall in the criteria of a hate crime.

As you like a link:

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210330-the-harmful-ableist-language-you-unknowingly-use

Lord knows how you didn’t find anything more recent than 2013.

The expression is ableist and will get reported. But it also sounds like you were actively encouraging discriminatory behaviour.

Well it definitely won't help if you have reported it.

Ooh OP, this isn't helping your case at all.

And yes I have reported this.

I find the best way to avoid falling foul of the personal attack guidelines is to not respond to specific posters to make your point. So rather than quoting or using the @ feature, I make my own response and say "some of the responses on here are so stupid/miserable/ridiculous". You can make your point without directing it at individuals.

Now you're bordering on being insulting again. Either it's deliberate or you just don't understand rational argument. Or maybe you are TOO thick-skinned!

You've got your answer. All you need to do is avoid writing 'Are you stupid?' (or similar) in your posts. You might not mean it as a personal attack but it can be interpreted that way. It's easy to rephrase it in a more constructive way: 'have you thought about...?', 'I wonder why you think...?' etc.

I think MN can be a bit like primary school sometimes with posters calling each other names and others running off to tell the teacher on them.

Perhaps it isn’t. Bye.

How do you deny being stupid? Do you just say ‘no, I’m not stupid’? Not overly compelling is it.

One of the reasons I hate personal attacks like that on mumsnet is because they’re such discussion-killers. Ironically they are usually employed by those struggling to keep up with the conversation themselves and can’t think of a better way to articulate their point.

Surely if somebody calls you stupid, especially online then you'd have the intelligence to reply denying their opinion.

If somebody calls you a cunt, there is no comeback other than too right, you know your cunts, I'll give you that.

Sorry @WellingtonBootilicious, I haven't even finished all of your posts yet, never mind the Mumsnetters responding to you, but I just couldn't bring myself to wait that long - there are already 9 ages to read through - as I found your above post genuinely (definitely not nastily) absolutely hilarious.

To paraphrase a little, and unfortunately I am not known for my paraphrasing skills:

"I am struggling to understand why calling someone a descriptive word like 'stupid', when they are patently too thick to understand the point I am trying to make, is being considered rude or insulting?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Do you think that if you keep on with this thread OP, that you might actually be able to comprehend that generally speaking (that the man on the Clapham omnibus) would find you questioning their mental ability, rather rude, and/or insulting? This is Mumsnet's site and they have told you it is rude, many of the responders to your post have told you they find it rude. You even appeared at one time to accept that it is considered rude on this site, and you apologised for it; but deep down you can't have meant that apology - although I am sure you thought you did at the time - so you came up with the above quote. Like I said, I am finding that so funny, please tell me that you get the irony of it!

By the way OP, this probably isn't reciprocated, but I think that I would like you quite a lot in real life!

I hope I haven't broken any Mumsnet rules here, but if I have I will accept my 'punishment' with good grace, and of course apologise profusely.

Serious NB: I have had a few of my posts deleted over the years, I think at least one of them was because I voiced - well typed - my thought that the particular OP on whatever thread it was, might have been a troll. Having re-read the rules after that, I think that Mumsnet actually have very good reasons for not allowing that sort of behaviour. To my lasting shame, on one occassion, under a different name, I once made an awful error of judgement, which I think Mumsnet could have reasonably banned me for. I have no defence for myself really, except that the OP had unintentially (of course) triggered a traumatic memory of mine, and I didn't stop to think before replying. I was, and still am, very sorry about that, I just hope and pray that it didn't actually cause that OP any damage.

In reality, I really appreciate this site, it has actually made quite a huge - and sometimes a very painful - contribution to me learning about myself, and that although I already thought myself to be generally kind and compassionate, I had, and still have a long way to go. One of the most important things that I have learned so far, as both a MiL and a grandmother, is to try to lose my ego. I don't believe that either of those wonderful titles benefit from me having an ego. I am still working on other situations!

Sorry OP for side tracking! 💐 xx

In some ways I think stupid is worse. Cunt is a horrible word but as an insult I find it fairly vague and meaningless. Whereas stupid implies thick / low IQ / dense. More insulting I’d say.

Gosh, that's a bit much.

I think there's a lot more deleting going on than there used to be. I have been deleted a few times, once I was so shocked that I contacted MN myself to find out why (by email). They told me that lots of people had reported my post as "highly insensitive" and that they agreed. They didn't actually elaborate on what made it insensitive and I thought "what a bunch of snowflakes" but since then I have been careful with everything, turns of phrase, questions, not getting riled up, not addressing others who are clearly riled up. It takes a lot of discipline to "fit in".

Ah, well you've taken such a pounding that you and your tail deserve some rest regardless.

That means switching off and not replying to every new poster wanting a pile on.
Don't wake up with anxiety in the morning. I know you will. This is an online forum, nobody else will have anxiety - they'll want to see the fight continued for entertainment.

Maybe ask about getting this deleted, then crack on with what is important.

You've got a shit way with words. I've seen plenty worse that doesn't get button pushed.
Don't rise to it.

Sleep well.

And yes, I can be a right arsehole but you've taken enough for a comment that doesn't justify the vitriol. So switch off and ignore. Don't try and cut your own head off, it won't end well and you'll end up with a scratched neck!
Night night wally.