Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Laugh reaction

187 replies

Itsjustsodepressing · 28/04/2025 16:12

I know when MN introduced the reaction button which included the Laugh emoji a lot of posters weren't happy about it. And there have been various comments by posters about its misuse.

It is just being used so commonly now to mock and deride serious comments that are in no way funny. That can no way be interpreted as light hearted.

It would appear to be being used to try and drive posters off threads. And the impression I get is that it's actually often certain posters ganging up together to try and silence people who don't agree with them.

I think MN having guidelines for posters to stick to civilised responses to other posters is being undermined because they have given those who are minded to be unpleasant to other posters the perfect tool to be nasty to them without having to verbalise anything and risk getting their post removed.

I'm failing to see any benefit in providing the laugh emoji reaction when it's principal use now is to upset and drive away genuine posters.

I don't think it was a good idea in the first place and I would like to see MN remove this reaction option.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 07/05/2025 15:32

I'm currently on a thread on Chat where multiple posters are using the laugh emoji to mock posts

Some people post absolutely ridiculous preposterous things here though. So, I guess people assume they have come here for that sort of attention, as it’s sometimes hard to believe someone could actually be that dense or completely lack any self-awareness, so they are being deliberately goady. Any attention is better than none for some people, and posting ridiculous shit is their way of doing it. In those cases, it’s no different, to looking at someone in physical life, and giving a laugh and saying ‘good lord, Sharon, pull your neck in, don’t be so ridiculous’, or telling them their thought processes are not normal and they may be best to seek assistance if that is the case.

SirChenjins · 07/05/2025 15:10

You'll see them on the most recent one/s though. If you were to start a thread for advice the chances are you would be following the replies and you would see all the emojis someone has left you.

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 07/05/2025 15:04

SirChenjins · 07/05/2025 15:00

You don't have to check your emails - the emoji shows on your post. I've just given you a laughter emoji so you can see what I mean. No-one else will be able to see it though.

Edited

Yes, but I don't look back over my own previous posts in order to see whether there are any reactions to them.

SirChenjins · 07/05/2025 15:00

You don't have to check your emails - the emoji shows on your post. I've just given you a laughter emoji so you can see what I mean. No-one else will be able to see it though.

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 07/05/2025 14:56

BIWI · 06/05/2025 22:07

Not when it’s a pointless contribution.

It is not a pointless contribution at all. This thread is seeking opinions about the laugh icon, and I posted my opinion, which presumably differs from yours. Since MNHQ may well read threads such as this one and form policy based on them, it only makes sense for everyone to have their say, whatever their point of view.

My view on any given topic is no less valid than yours.

I get emails telling me that people have reacted to posts I've made, but it appears that unlike many posters, I don't care enough to go and check what those reactions are. If anyone is likely to be offended or upset by reactions, then the issue is easily avoided. Just don't look. And that is why I don't think the laugh reaction is a problem.

SirChenjins · 07/05/2025 06:27

CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 22:42

No, not suggesting that at all.

I have always seen a huge amount of support on those boards.

I'm sorry you seem not to have.

But you are (indirectly) suggesting that - because the laughter emoji is used by posters on those threads. It’s been suggested on other threads that the emoji function be removed on certain threads but MN haven’t done that.

You will only have seen the supportive posts because you won’t see anyone dishing out a 😆 - that’s the whole point.

CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 22:42

No, not suggesting that at all.

I have always seen a huge amount of support on those boards.

I'm sorry you seem not to have.

LittleGreenDragons · 06/05/2025 22:30

CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 22:13

It is a valid point.

Much earlier in the thread, people have pointed out that is you are not able to ignore or roll your eyes at a stranger on the internet doing something you don't agree with, then you probably aren't in the best place to be posting on public forums on the internet.

Edited
Show quote history

Mumsnet have sections for Bereavement, Divorce and Relationships amongst others. All are used by people who aren't in the best place but are seeking support and advice, are you trying to suggest they shouldn't be here? I have had the laugh emoji on Relationship posts where I have been trying to support the OP, including on ones where I've posted links to Women's Aid or The Freedom Programme. There's nothing funny or amusing about either of those and yet some twat thinks it's great fun to do the laugh reaction.

CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 22:13

BIWI · 06/05/2025 19:49

So why post then @BeNiceWhenItsFinished? How nice for you that it doesn’t bother you. When it clearly does bother others. Hmm

It is a valid point.

Much earlier in the thread, people have pointed out that is you are not able to ignore or roll your eyes at a stranger on the internet doing something you don't agree with, then you probably aren't in the best place to be posting on public forums on the internet.

BIWI · 06/05/2025 22:07

Not when it’s a pointless contribution.

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 06/05/2025 21:48

BIWI · 06/05/2025 19:49

So why post then @BeNiceWhenItsFinished? How nice for you that it doesn’t bother you. When it clearly does bother others. Hmm

It's always useful to have a balanced view with a variety of opinions, don't you think? This is a discussion forum, after all...
🙂

LindorDoubleChoc · 06/05/2025 20:55

Agree. I've always felt it's really odd and a bit pointless that the reaction emojis are the way they are on Mumsnet. Either have them or don't have them, but don't half have them.

SirChenjins · 06/05/2025 20:38

LindorDoubleChoc · 06/05/2025 20:05

Which Chat thread is it @Itsjustsodepressing ? Is it the one about supermarkets or the one about photos from the Caribbean?

As I said yesterday or the day before, if you have evidence of multiple posters laughing at your comments when they aren't funny or meant to be funny, then you can screenshot them and report to HQ. I hope this helps.

Yes, you can report your own posts and ask MN to review the laughter emoji that someone else posted. The point is, no-one should have to do this - the emoji should be public so that other posters can challenge them and report if needed in the usual way. If someone is at a really low point or they’re really worried or upset about something, then being on the receiving end of a 😆 that’s hidden from view must feel awful.

LindorDoubleChoc · 06/05/2025 20:05

Which Chat thread is it @Itsjustsodepressing ? Is it the one about supermarkets or the one about photos from the Caribbean?

As I said yesterday or the day before, if you have evidence of multiple posters laughing at your comments when they aren't funny or meant to be funny, then you can screenshot them and report to HQ. I hope this helps.

RubyRubyRubyRubyAhAhAhAhAhAaaah · 06/05/2025 19:51

That does sound really unpleasant, but I have to say that I've only ever taken it to mean that I am being hilarious (deluded person that I am) and also have only ever used it when a post says something funny

BIWI · 06/05/2025 19:49

So why post then @BeNiceWhenItsFinished? How nice for you that it doesn’t bother you. When it clearly does bother others. Hmm

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 06/05/2025 17:58

I periodically get an email telling me that people have reacted to posts I've made. Rarely do I ever bother looking at them, so this issue simply doesn't bother me at all.

Original poster
Itsjustsodepressing · 06/05/2025 17:38

CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 15:43

I'm currently on a thread on Chat where multiple posters are using the laugh emoji to mock posts.

As you can't see the emoji's unless it is your post, this is either not true, or you must be posting a lot of erm, 'interesting' things to be getting that reaction so often from multiple other posters.

I posted a very innocuous post, not controversial. Actually agreeing to some extent with the OP.
And I got a laugh reaction.

I reported the post to MN .

I then queried with the poster who had laughed as to what they found amusing.

I then got more posters laughing at my original post.

I entered a dialogue about the laugh emoji and every single one of my posts got laughs. Some multiple laughs.

Nothing I said was remotely funny.

Nothing I said was remotely controversial.

I think I said up thread about posters working in tandem with each other to bully people off a thread. This is what happened today. And it's on Chat where the most unpleasant cliquish behaviour is imo - much more so than AIBU.

What the posters on the thread were saying made a mockery of the supposed MN line that the laugh emoji is not meant to be used in a negative way.
The posters on that thread are openly admitting they use it if they disagree with a comment and want to dismiss the poster as stupid.
So I think MN are being disingenuous if they really didn't expect this react button to be used in that way.

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 06/05/2025 15:43

I'm currently on a thread on Chat where multiple posters are using the laugh emoji to mock posts.

As you can't see the emoji's unless it is your post, this is either not true, or you must be posting a lot of erm, 'interesting' things to be getting that reaction so often from multiple other posters.

LoafofSellotape · 06/05/2025 12:52

Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 14:57

Well you are assuming everyone should be the same as you and you are here criticising people who aren't like you.

You have no idea what is going on in people's lives.

Do you really not realise that some people have very little , or no validation , in real life? And to come on MN and try and make a helpful or supportive or valid point and then to be mocked for doing so then this is yet another reason to feel worthless.

Edited
Show quote history

I honestly think if you have some much going on in your life that you can't brush it off when someone uses an emoji then gently, you should give the internet a miss for a while. I say that as someone which an awful lot going on.

BIWI · 06/05/2025 12:23

@Itsjustsodepressing don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely behind you on this issue. But:

I'm currently on a thread on Chat where multiple posters are using the laugh emoji to mock posts.

Given that they’re private (i.e. only the poster who receives these emojis can see them), how do you know that multiple posters are using them?

Original poster
Itsjustsodepressing · 06/05/2025 10:47

I think the MN response on this thread is totally inadequate for the problem.

I'm currently on a thread on Chat where multiple posters are using the laugh emoji to mock posts.

And posters on that thread are openly admitting that is what they are using the emoji for.

And they are openly proud of the fact they are mocking other posters.

What is the point of talk guidelines when so many posters actually believe the whole point of the emoji being provided is to enable them to mock others ?

I've reported some of my posts that have been laughed at but I'm certainly getting the impression using the emoji in a negative way is most certainly the norm and not the exception

Perhaps NN should now be upfront and admit they are actually enabling unpleasant posters by providing them with the means to express themselves in this unpleasant way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 20:12

CarpetKnees · 30/04/2025 15:33

If someone sending an emoji is enough to drive you off MN completely, then I would suggest you are not in a good enough place mentally to be starting threads on the internet, criticising people.

MN is an incredibly supportive place for so many for so much of the time, BUT anyone posting on an internet forum of any kind has to be able to understand that other people will hold different opinions, and that other people have different senses of humour, and that other people interpret things differently.
There will also be some idiots who set out to upset people.

I mean, personally, I use the laughing emoji if people have made a joke / said something where I appreciate the wit of what they have written, but if someone sent one on one of my posts and I deemed it to be sarcastic, I'd roll my eyes and move on with my day.

Show quote history

Firstly I started the thread on Site Stuff to raise the issue with MN about the misuse of the Laugh reaction. That is totally different from starting a thread to " criticise people".

And secondly you are more or less saying anyone with mental health issues, low self esteem, neuro diversity or whatever shouldn't post on MN because they will be targeted by the " mean girls" who think laughing at people on an anonymous forum is the way to go.

Doesn't that negate a lot of what MN is supposed to about: offering solidarity and support and advice to people who's problems often stem from the very issues you think should stop them from posting in the first place?

As for differences in sense of humour: I admit in a very few cases there is dubeity as to whether the poster intends to be humorous or not. But in most cases it is quite clear that the post is serious and made in good faith but people still use the emoji to mock it.

You obviously have the self confidence to " roll your eyes". I'm sure a lot of people would love to be in a position in life to be able to do that. But instead of having any empathy for thsoe who don't your answer is just to tell them to stay off the Internet. You just want to marginalise them.

OP posts:
GingerPaste · 30/04/2025 19:53

Itsjustsodepressing · 28/04/2025 17:34

This is exactly the type of thing that it is being used for by a certain section of poster: bullying others because they are perceived as different from themselves.

Show quote history

Unfortunately, laughing emojis or not, there’s an awful lot of bullying on MN. And I think it’s getting worse.

Nothing will happen about it though because nothing ever does…

NameChangedOfc · 30/04/2025 19:52

ilovesooty · 30/04/2025 19:36

I reported my own post, referencing the poster who'd done it. As I said, I got a swift reply confirming that the poster would be dealt with.

Show quote history

Well, thank you: I've learned something new today!

I too find the mean-girl use of the laughing emoji quite offputting, OP. And I've had it sometimes myself. I completely ignore it and doesn't affect me, personally. But I agree that it favours a bully culture. I'm not sure how you could counteract it, though. It seems to me that MN tried to do it by limiting the range of reactions to just positive ones. But clearly that is very artificial, because people have all kind of opinions. Maybe get rid of all emoji reactions?

ETA: I personally use the emoji reactions quite often. With the laughing emoji I've had to limit myself, precisely because I feared it being interpreted as mocking when it was not my intention (talking about posts where maybe there's some dark or self deprecating humour, for instance).

Swipe left for the next trending thread