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Original poster

Another thread on 'active' being destroyed

114 replies

saraclara · 26/01/2025 22:06

A parent who posted about her children in care, on the fostering branch, is being ripped apart, unfairly.

This is only happening because her thread appears on active/trending/whatever, so people who have no idea about anything are abusing and judging her.

I've reported some posts, but what really needs to happen in these circumstances, is HQ quickly removing the thread title from active. Some particular branches' OPs need this kind of protection.

Can you please consider this?

OP posts:
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dollymixedup · 30/01/2025 00:15

Thankyou :)

dollymixedup · 29/01/2025 23:54

@NiteWotcha @HebeMumsnet

I've reported one of my own posts on a different thread that I think might be at risk of a pile on if it ends up trending. Not sure if posting here will help bring it to your attention but thought it might

DerekFaker · 28/01/2025 21:54

FictionalCharacter · 28/01/2025 03:01

I completely agree.
Not the same issue, but I think it's time for some firm policing of AIBU. It's become a bloodsport for cruel people who have no real interest in Mumsnet and don't see posters as humans with feelings. People post genuine questions, not realising that it's like painting a target on yourself these days, and some have been clearly very upset by the viciousness they've been subjected to. It might once have been a legitimate board but it isn't now, and it's dragging MN down.

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Totally agree.

C8H10N4O2 · 28/01/2025 12:28

HebeMumsnet · 27/01/2025 12:08

To be honest, I've no idea if that's possible but it's certainly something we'll look into. Good idea.

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I would use that and would suggest using the notes section for nominating a target topic.

Maybe its time for a bit more shepherding of threads to the relevant topic as this seems to be a regular AIBU problem, quite often with "posting for traffic" due to underuse of the relevant topic.

For any new joiner the site feels like it is AIBU due to its dominance. If we move more and more topics out of active/trending they become even less visible and magnify the sense that AIBU is the only place to get much response.

Possilby also when we respond to topic threads the rider "this is not AIBU" could be added! If only we could make it mandatory to read the OP before replying (not a problem unique to MN of course).

FictionalCharacter · 28/01/2025 03:01

FastTealWriter · 26/01/2025 22:22

You need to exclude certain sensitive branches from being identified as Trending. This should be extremely simple to apply for a list of branches from a coding standpoint and not require manual intervention.

The safety of posters on the forum should be your priority not driving traffic.

I completely agree.
Not the same issue, but I think it's time for some firm policing of AIBU. It's become a bloodsport for cruel people who have no real interest in Mumsnet and don't see posters as humans with feelings. People post genuine questions, not realising that it's like painting a target on yourself these days, and some have been clearly very upset by the viciousness they've been subjected to. It might once have been a legitimate board but it isn't now, and it's dragging MN down.

DenialisAriver · 27/01/2025 12:45

Can't the fostering section (and some others) just be removed from active as default? with a message about if you want more traction post in chat (or similar)

peachystormy · 27/01/2025 12:45

I agree the comments and judgment was awful

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 27/01/2025 12:08

saraclara · 27/01/2025 10:44

Thank you @HebeMumsnet . Your mea culpa is appreciated and it's reassuring to know that HQ is taking this seriously.

Is there any way that the report options could include a tick box where people can ask for/suggest that a thread be removed from active?

To be honest, I've no idea if that's possible but it's certainly something we'll look into. Good idea.

dachshunddaft · 27/01/2025 11:36

It's good that the thread was deleted but there should be a longer-term solution to inappropriate and confrontational comments.

Comments on the site (and the Internet generally) are increasingly aggressive and judgmental. Sensitive topics that were "safe" in active a few years ago might not be now so their visibility may need a review. Are more bans and deletions also needed for aggressive posters?

justasking111 · 27/01/2025 11:36

Thanks. I did report a thread days ago as did others. It's been closed this morning after 40 pages. Things do need tightening up.

Original poster
saraclara · 27/01/2025 10:44

Thank you @HebeMumsnet . Your mea culpa is appreciated and it's reassuring to know that HQ is taking this seriously.

Is there any way that the report options could include a tick box where people can ask for/suggest that a thread be removed from active?

OP posts:
Yowchers · 27/01/2025 10:29

Re the points about will a post get enough responses if it doesn't show up in active...I'd say that it is up the poster to decide that? If they've put it in a section which doesn't feature in active (as clearly many shouldn't) they can always repost somewhere else if they don't get many repsonses. There's many topics though where just one person replying with experience/expertise is more useful than 20 people just saying what they feel/think.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 27/01/2025 10:11

Morning, everyone. Thanks for your feedback about this thread. It was hidden overnight and we've since deleted it as we just couldn't see that it was helpful for anyone any more.

We must apologise that it wasn't moved out of Active more quickly. We usually would do this immediately with a sensitive thread like this. It's our fault entirely - we were fairly overrun with reports on this thread and it was overlooked unfortunately.

We're always happy to have a nudge though if you ever see a thread going pear-shaped and it looks like it shouldn't be in Active. Please just hit the report button. We're going to look at our systems, too, and see if we can put anything in place to make sure this doesn't happen again.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 27/01/2025 10:04

@DerekFaker Totally agree. Also what does not help is so many posters seem to treat every single thread as if it's an AIBU, regardless of which topic it has been posted in.

I think the only saving grace on the thread @saraclara is referring to is that the OP didn't get their spelling or grammar pulled apart too. But I had to stop reading midway so that might still have happened.

DerekFaker · 27/01/2025 09:42

Hard agree. This site has gone from a nest of vipers to a tank of hungry sharks. We need to do more to protect vulnerable posters and stop aggressive ones.

rainbowunicorn · 27/01/2025 08:04

wandawaves · 27/01/2025 01:53

But what I'm saying is, do enough posters actually go through individual forums? Maybe they do, and in that case, it's all good then. I've just never used a forum in that way myself.

Although in saying that, you can follow a whole topic/forum and then you get notified of a thread being posted, so perhaps if enough people know that and they follow their relevant topics, that could work? Do people use this feature?

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Yes, I use this feature as do lots of others.

HelloCheekyCat · 27/01/2025 08:01

WaitingForMojo · 27/01/2025 07:18

The Adoption boards don’t appear in Active. It should be easy to do the same for the fostering boards and other sensitive topics.

I'm sure IVF doesn't either for the same.reasons

Shortpoet · 27/01/2025 07:54

I once posted about nearly falling for a phishing scam, but just in time spotting something that made me question it.

I shared on mumsnet chat thinking it might be helpful for others, and others could also share near misses.

His wrong was I? Basically told how thick and stupid I was by multiple posters. How could even think for a second my post would help other mumsnetters, none of which would be stupid enough to fall for it like thicko me. That there must be something deeply wrong with me not to have spotted it immediately.

I wasn’t particularly attached to the topic, just thought it was helpful but I’ve never started a thread like that again.

I can’t imagine how it would feel to post something deeply personal and vulnerable particularly about your children in care and get attacked like that. It’s horrible. It’s so hard to ask for help when you feel shame and then to have an awful pile on just isolates the person further, which means they are even less likely to reach out for help in the future.

strawberrysea · 27/01/2025 07:35

Wallawallakoala · 26/01/2025 22:23

Completely agree. Is it now unsafe to post a genuine question without getting judged to the extreme and attacked when looking for sincere help about something specific. It’s taken a horrible turn.

I agree. MN never used to be like this. Cruel remarks and judgement, it's become a horrible place.

Original poster
saraclara · 27/01/2025 07:34

WaitingForMojo · 27/01/2025 07:18

The Adoption boards don’t appear in Active. It should be easy to do the same for the fostering boards and other sensitive topics.

That's good to know. So it's doable.

OP posts:
WaitingForMojo · 27/01/2025 07:18

The Adoption boards don’t appear in Active. It should be easy to do the same for the fostering boards and other sensitive topics.

Original poster
saraclara · 27/01/2025 07:14

POTC · 27/01/2025 01:43

It possibly wasn't helped by her also posting in AIBU though, I can see why it went the way it did as if you'd read one in aibu you would naturally read the other in the same way

Again, you're missing the point. The only reason that those who had read the AIBU thread got to see this one, is because the algorithm put it in trending.

OP posts:
VotingForYourself · 27/01/2025 06:24

wandawaves · 27/01/2025 01:53

But what I'm saying is, do enough posters actually go through individual forums? Maybe they do, and in that case, it's all good then. I've just never used a forum in that way myself.

Although in saying that, you can follow a whole topic/forum and then you get notified of a thread being posted, so perhaps if enough people know that and they follow their relevant topics, that could work? Do people use this feature?

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I do. Eg. Style and beauty. Step parenting. However I did see the thread in active and didn't realise it was in active. I was shocked at the responses.