This thread has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of its author.

The step mum went poof overnight

I did feel for her and every one jumped in on her

she asked how to make things better

@HebeMumsnet - let's be honest here and call a spade a spade.
When xenophobic posts are brought to the attention of MN Admins, they repeatedly ask for evidence of same and don't even delete threads or posts on those threads....but if someone doesn't like that they are being told they are being unreasonable multiple times....threads go Poof! in the night.

The posting guidelines could do with a review and perhaps it would be useful to get feedback from the people that actually make up the posts for that??

Sometimes there might be mental health reasons or similar why it is the right thing to do to look after the op.

Many years ago I posted an AIBU and got horribly rounded on by a number of posters (others were quite balanced to be fair) and it caused me excruciating mental distress as I was in a vulnerable place anyway. I was new to Mumsnet and didn't realise that AIBU was often just used as a place for people to get out their anger . People often don't stop and think that there is a real person behind the post.

At the time MN didn't delete and just told me to hide the thread, which I did but in all honesty it would have been much better for my mental health if it had been deleted.

I felt like someone in the stocks having tomatoes lobbed at me, and it was on an evening when I was low and vulnerable and alone and had just had a very traumatic experience (which was what I posted about)

I think it's a shame when a couple of derailing trolls mean a thread is deleted, I even think it is a shame if a troll thread gets deleted if it has sparked interesting debate. But the Ops mental health or well being is worthy of protection with deletion.

If the tone of a thread turns nasty, as they sometimes can, it's vital that people can get them removed.

There's nothing to be gained from contributing to someone's misery. People start threads ill-advisedly, when vulnerable, when angry, when drunk. It'd be irresponsible and exploitative for MN to refuse to take them down.

I also agree with a PP this is not new, it's always been that way.

You’ve always been able to do that. Honestly, I’ve had threads deleted before, years and years ago (like 10+ years ago).

I think it's fine that threads get taken down.

No one has any rights over someone else's story, and what real difference does it make to anyone else if things are taken down?

Once threads become a pile on I think it's ok for the OP to ask for it to be removed.

I find the desire for a thread to stay up against an OP's wishes quite strange.

I'm sure I just responded yesterday to a wind up merchant but the thread is surprisingly still standing...

It's really annoying responding when the thread ends up being pulled.

Well we've had one today where the poster didn't like the replies and seemed to be setting out to get it deleted by becoming increasingly abusive to other posters. I'm sure if a poster behaves like that and gets the thread removed their abuse to others is dealt with too.

This

if you post about yourself /family /work issues etx then anyone can surely say please take own due to privacy issues

esp if they don’t like the answers

It's frustrating to get the "deleted due to privacy concerns" message but at least it is better than "we are taking a look behind the scenes". So vague, might as well not have a message there at all!

There's identifying and identifying. A woman intending to flee her abuser could have genuine reason to be worried about being identified; a poster on a Bridezilla thread - not so much.

I think the situation they are posting about can be identifying. You don't need to say "I'm Joe bloggs from Basingstoke" to be worried you've said too much and people can guess who you are, look at your other threads or even just get some opinions on something that you wouldn't chose to tell them. I know you know all this but I often see "it isn't identifying" commented but to some people it defo will be.

Not strictly true. I asked for a thread to be removed as I'd been recognised in real life twice, and MN wouldn't remove it, they just moved it to 30 days only.

I listened to the first book in the series after watching Rivals, I'm hooked!

@RupertCampbellBlacksEgo thank you fellow Cooper fan

Thread about a thread

What does TAAT stand for? I've just seen this anachronism used on a deleted post as the reason why it went

Posters know that if they cite privacy concerns they'll get their thread deleted. They use it when they don't like the answers they're getting. It makes me more reluctant to respond sometimes because what's the point.