Page 5 | LGBT children board title

ArabellaScott · 2024-09-27T06:28:59+00:00

Given that the Cass Review says social transitioning is not a neutral act, and refers to 'gender incongruent' or 'gender questioning' children, the use of 'trans children' looks startlingly out of date and incorrect on Mumsnet. The board should be renamed 'LGB and gender questioning children' to better reflect best practice. The new school guidelines likewise use 'gender incongruent' and 'gender questioning' and not ever 'trans' when referring to children.

alittlebitonthego · 03/10/2024 02:42

TheCentreCannotHold · 02/10/2024 12:27

@CassieMaddox I think the benefit lies in there being a distinction: I'm a parent of a young autistic lesbian and were it not for my previous experience with close family -see above- I might not have been able to discern, when starting to look around for help with how best to support my child, that the L really is a world of difference away from the T and that sexual orientation is not synonymous with gender-questioning. This is generally not made clear at a 'first-point-of-enquiry' for parents venturing into LGBTQ+ spaces, looking for ways to support their children and young people. Instead, it is easy to have your mind slightly blown by the broad presentation of gender identities, a use of language that is often ambiguous to the uninitiated, and a subtle message that anything but affirmation will render a parent 'part of the problem'.

Separate boards would be supportive for parents like me whose child is same-sex attracted and whose gender identity is frequently questioned in LGBT spaces: it provides the assurance that it is possible to be 'just' gay.

It might also be helpful to parents who believe their DC may be gender-questioning or same-sex attracted, whose first port of call has not been MN but one of the more inclusive online LGTB spaces where aforementioned ambiguity prevails: being encouraged to question which of two distinct MN boards to access might prompt further reading and a broader understanding of the issues, thus enabling better support.

Excellent post, fully agree.

Mirahelp · 02/10/2024 21:04

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:17

Adult children are still your children...

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Yes that was my point really. It would be a board for those with trans or gender questioning offspring without the implication that it's just about minors & 'transkids'. It makes sense in my head anyway.

ApplesinmyPocket · 02/10/2024 20:41

MrsOvertonsWindow · 02/10/2024 12:00

An excellent suggestion. I've every confidence that MNHQ will do what's best in the light of the all the new evidence and guidance, especially the reminder that socially transitioning children is not a neutral act. As a site for parents, safeguarding children should be central to everything. It's long overdue to get rid of the mythical "trans child" label and call these children what they are - gender questioning.

This, absolutely.

Ladyof2024 · 02/10/2024 19:50

I agree.

ReadWithScepticism · 02/10/2024 19:49

Surely the googling thing is a red herring! As PP have said, pages can be tagged with words that don't actually appear on the page, so the board could still return hits on the word trans, especially given that the word will appear in posts in any case. It isn't just going to disappear from google results because of a name change!

At most it would drop down a bit, but I'm not sure it is imperative that the MN board should be super-high in search results on the word 'trans'. It is a useful place for parents to talk. That's all. Opinions posted there are as unexpert and erratic as anywhere else on MN. I doubt that many professionals would regard it as a suitable place to signpost for the parents of children needing support with sexuality or gender.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:48

I couldn't say with any great certainty what I would search at this point tbh, resources were very limited when I need the help and I googled many variations of things just to try and access some support.

Even so, I'm not saying don't put 'gender questioning' in the name, just don't exclude the word 'trans'.

All of the parents I've met over the years have searched some variation of trans child, and that's how they have accessed help and support.

It would be ridiculous for a support site for parents to change the name for people who don't need that support, which could prevent the people who do need the support from accessing it.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2024 19:42

Pretty sure some will google 'gender questioning' and some 'trans'. How many of each is somewhat irrelevant, each is about a child. It'd be shame if the latter only found the likes of mermaids.

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:38

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:27

The hundreds of parents that I've met and spoken to over the last, almost, 20 years, and my own experiences.

If a kid tells you they are trans then you're not going to say "sorry sweetheart, according to this review that's factually incorrect so I'm going to Google gender questioning actually".

I'm not saying every parent, but the vast majority will use 'trans'.

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So what would you search?

Because
"is my child trans"
Vs
"Gender questioning"
Vs
"Trans child help"

On Google trends suggest gender questioning is more common.

https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&geo=GB&q=gender%20questioning,Is%20my%20child%20trans,Trans%20child%20help,Do%20I%20have%20a%20trans%20child,how%20can%20I%20support%20my%20trans%20child&hl=en-US

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:27

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 19:21

What are you basing that assumption on?

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The hundreds of parents that I've met and spoken to over the last, almost, 20 years, and my own experiences.

If a kid tells you they are trans then you're not going to say "sorry sweetheart, according to this review that's factually incorrect so I'm going to Google gender questioning actually".

I'm not saying every parent, but the vast majority will use 'trans'.

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:23

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:20

OK? Most people wouldn't.

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Why do you say that?
My then 5 year old was saying he was a girl. He's not transgender but was asking questions.

I googled what was happening, gender questioning.

Original poster

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 19:21

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:20

OK? Most people wouldn't.

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What are you basing that assumption on?

OP posts:

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 19:20

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:15

I googled gender questioning 🤷

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OK? Most people wouldn't.

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:17

Mirahelp · 02/10/2024 19:15

I would also like 2 separate boards. I would like to throw 'trans & gender questioning offspring' into the mix so that my gender questioning son, who is technically a young adult, is included.

Adult children are still your children...

frenchnoodle · 02/10/2024 19:15

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 15:47

Because that's what parents will google when they need help.

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I googled gender questioning 🤷

Mirahelp · 02/10/2024 19:15

I would also like 2 separate boards. I would like to throw 'trans & gender questioning offspring' into the mix so that my gender questioning son, who is technically a young adult, is included.

TeenToTwenties · 02/10/2024 18:38

Split the boards:
LGB
Gender Questioning / Trans

KingOfPeace · 02/10/2024 18:36

Agree. It needs 2 boards anyway and a suitable name for the gender questioning kids

CassieMaddox · 02/10/2024 18:34

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 17:59

https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/tavistock-clinic-whistleblower-doctors-captured-trans-ideology/

'Dr Bell - who was a consultant psychiatrist at the Tavistock Portman NHS Foundation and raised concerns over the trust's gender identity development service - said "affirming a child in what they say is not an appropriate clinical stance".
...
Dr Bell said: "There is no such thing as being born in the wrong body. There isn't a kind of biological essence of gender that you're born into.
"You're born as your biological sex, and of course, you're the way you identify and your gender is mainly not completely, but it's mainly a constructive socially through your family and the social world that you live in.
"So I think it's right in a way to say there's no such thing as a transgender child in the sense that forecloses.
"Trying to understand a better term is gender dysphoria or gender stress. How this happens is part of a much bigger thing.
"It's not just about the clinic, it's about the it's about the whole culture. It's about the universities.
"It's about private organisations and businesses. The whole world has got invaded by a transgender ideology."

The problem with using this as a standard is no-one is posting as a clinician. We are posting as random Internet users. Trying to insist on the same standards that professionals would use is unnecessary.

I don't think mumsnet should be in the business of policing words. If some parents choose to refer to their own child as trans instead of gender questioning, that's up to them.

The last thing any parent posting for support needs is a lecture about terminology.

Blanketyre · 02/10/2024 18:15

No, it's because I meet parents where they are, and don't have a political agenda.

Anastomosisrex · 02/10/2024 18:13

And that would be because you disagree with the Cass recommendations of neutrality and concerns about affirmation, and would prefer affirmation only. And would prefer parents not to be exposed to concerns and information that makes them question affirmation. And view women with concerns about affirmation as having them through ill intentions and exposure to them not in the best interests of gender questioning people.

LGB children need support and information that is not coloured with this political bias and to always be seen through the lens of gender ideology.

Blanketyre · 02/10/2024 18:08

CAMHS use it. Not that I'd recommend any parents with a gender questioning child to visit mumsnet for advice.

Original poster

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 18:03

Using a term that is used by activists, and not by schools or the NHS, is also likely to confuse.

OP posts:

Blanketyre · 02/10/2024 18:01

I think doing anything that will confuse parents looking for support is not what Mumsnet should be about. Parents will be looking for LGBT info, whether you like it or not.

I hope they don't do this.

Original poster

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 17:59

https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/tavistock-clinic-whistleblower-doctors-captured-trans-ideology/

'Dr Bell - who was a consultant psychiatrist at the Tavistock Portman NHS Foundation and raised concerns over the trust's gender identity development service - said "affirming a child in what they say is not an appropriate clinical stance".
...
Dr Bell said: "There is no such thing as being born in the wrong body. There isn't a kind of biological essence of gender that you're born into.
"You're born as your biological sex, and of course, you're the way you identify and your gender is mainly not completely, but it's mainly a constructive socially through your family and the social world that you live in.
"So I think it's right in a way to say there's no such thing as a transgender child in the sense that forecloses.
"Trying to understand a better term is gender dysphoria or gender stress. How this happens is part of a much bigger thing.
"It's not just about the clinic, it's about the it's about the whole culture. It's about the universities.
"It's about private organisations and businesses. The whole world has got invaded by a transgender ideology."

'There's no such thing as a trans child': Tavistock clinic whistleblower claims doctors have been ‘captured by ideology’

Tavistock whistleblower David Bell has said "there is no such thing as being born in the wrong body" and the approach of immediately agreeing with a child has caused "considerable damage to generations of children and young people".

https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/tavistock-clinic-whistleblower-doctors-captured-trans-ideology

OP posts:

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 02/10/2024 17:58

ArabellaScott · 02/10/2024 17:57

Actually, I'd say labelling children as 'transgender' is potentially quite dangerous. It risks cementing an identity that involves off label medication and health interventions with serious consequences. Any website using the term is tacitly supportive of the idea of a 'trans child', which the government and the NHS are clear is not a thing.

Edited

And, as I said previously, not using the term parents will google when looking for support will drive them to sites where dangerous behaviour is encouraged.