Page 4 | Met rozzers - update needed please MN

SirChenjins · 2023-12-23T10:50:59+00:00

Any news from the Met MN? If we’re all facing a spell in the choky thanks to Dawn Butler we need to know whether to pack the kids and pets off to relatives and take the sprouts off the boil, or if it’s safe to crack open the Christmas chocs and pour a large one.

LuluBlakey1 · 23/12/2023 17:13

Right- they've had their chance to arrest me. I'm off for a bath and to get dressed - DH and I are going out for dinner and drinks.

I have decided I will make a scene and resist arrest if they turn up at the restaurant. I'm not missing my favourite restaurant for Dawn Butler's huffing and puffing.

MisgenderedGiraffe · 23/12/2023 17:06

I'll tell you what's been keeping me up at night. The poor giraffes.
How do we know they're gay?

What if some identity as girl giraffes while they're doing whatever with the boy giraffes? Then they're deffo straight

Is someone guilty of misgendering giraffes?

festivetinseling · 23/12/2023 17:05

Jingle bells
Jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to be
In prison Christmas Day...

MinnieCauldwell · 23/12/2023 16:59

When they come for me I am claiming Non Binary staus, I'll get my own cell away from you lot and be treated like I am really 'speshal'

Kucinghitam · 23/12/2023 16:57

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 16:16

@ilovesooty

An MP threatens to report an entire group of women on the internet to the (weirdly, only the Met) police, and you’re having a sense of humour failure over a tongue-in-cheek chat about getting banged up? Do me a favour.

You must understand what is really important to those on The Right Side of History.

LarkLane · 23/12/2023 16:48

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 16:27

I was interested in whether Dawn Butler had reported and whether there was an update since this was in Site Stuff.

I don't think prisons are amusing but do fill your boots over multiple threads if you do.

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I'm hoping sincerely that Wayne Couzens is having a really shit time in HMP Frankland. Prisons are not meant to be holiday camps so hth.

As for Dim Dawn why not check up with her aides?

Not sure if they are the same ones who wrote The Tribute To Dawn on Parliamentary notepaper (oops) years ago, and pretended that Obama had written it all by himself?

MisgenderedPaul · 23/12/2023 16:48

KnowsWhatAGiraffeIs · 23/12/2023 15:32

To the tune of Do They Know it's Christmastime?

It's Christmastime,
Looking out for those Dawn raids.
At Christmastime,
The wine is being replaced with distilled 'tatoes.

But in our world of Mumsnet,
There'll be lots of smiles and joy,
Even though, we're all banged up, this Christmastime!

But take good care, care of the other ones.
Those left behind, cooking dinner, hosting FIL and little ones.

There's a copper outside my window,
And he's begging me to come in,

And the only water flowing,
Is distilled spuddy gin,

And the Christmas bells that ring there, are next to the naice ham.

Well tonight, thank Dawn it's them, and also you!
Well there won't be snow in Holloway, this Christmastime.
Put your arms around a viper this Christmas time.

Where nothing needs bigger clothes, because nothing there outgrows.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world,
Mum's banged up at Christmastime
Feed the world,
Childfree women banged up too.
Feed the world,
MILs and DMs banged up too.
Feed the world,
Do they know what giraffes are?
Feed the world,
No one's left to cook the roast.

Repeat ad nauseam.

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Genius

Soontobe60 · 23/12/2023 16:46

EarthlyNightshade · 23/12/2023 11:05

I've packed a grab bag - will I allowed my HRT does anyone know?

I think you can use it to bargain with the transwomen being held there with you

Redshoeblueshoe · 23/12/2023 16:43

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 16:27

I was interested in whether Dawn Butler had reported and whether there was an update since this was in Site Stuff.

I don't think prisons are amusing but do fill your boots over multiple threads if you do.

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Sooty mate they're coming for all of us - that includes you

PuttingDownRoots · 23/12/2023 16:42

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the land
Mumsnet was stirring
But Dawn was at hand

I've reported you all
No prison is too small
You'll all be banged up
While we raise our cup

But mumsnet they said
You are having a giraffe
The police can't hold us
Don't make us laugh

We make a big chicken
To serve with our salad
Well swap tales of subversion
And release a new book version

Our children will barely notice were gone
But cats and dogs through windows will look
Until the food runs out...
That's all it took...

I don't think I'll make the poetry book somehow...

RadicalisedByMumzNet · 23/12/2023 16:37

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 23/12/2023 15:44

I actually have two Harry Styles tattoos so I'll happily add another, and it'll be free.
Hurry up polis.

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You can't leave it at that. Can we have a picture, real or drawn, give me some ideas

festivetinseling · 23/12/2023 16:28

Where do you stand on the sexual orientation of giraffes?

Out of their way.

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 16:27

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 16:16

@ilovesooty

An MP threatens to report an entire group of women on the internet to the (weirdly, only the Met) police, and you’re having a sense of humour failure over a tongue-in-cheek chat about getting banged up? Do me a favour.

I was interested in whether Dawn Butler had reported and whether there was an update since this was in Site Stuff.

I don't think prisons are amusing but do fill your boots over multiple threads if you do.

Boiledbeetle · 23/12/2023 16:27

pickledandpuzzled · 23/12/2023 16:25

I’m a little concerned MNHQ haven’t answered yet- do you think they’ve already been rounded up?

Anyone been deleted at all today?

LarkLane · 23/12/2023 16:26

I'm changing my name to Knuckles as my Tattoo will read:
TUNN OCKS

pickledandpuzzled · 23/12/2023 16:25

I’m a little concerned MNHQ haven’t answered yet- do you think they’ve already been rounded up?

Giggorata · 23/12/2023 16:20

DH has just bought a drone, so that means I'm good for contraband goods, like naice ham, Wegovy and Prosecco.
Oops, I meant tobacco and illegal drugs, of course (sounding like an old lag).

Can I bring my support giraffes Labradors in with me?

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 16:16

@ilovesooty

An MP threatens to report an entire group of women on the internet to the (weirdly, only the Met) police, and you’re having a sense of humour failure over a tongue-in-cheek chat about getting banged up? Do me a favour.

TerfTalking · 23/12/2023 16:16

We can’t all get banged up otherwise there won’t be any room in prison for the TIMs.

AgnesX · 23/12/2023 16:12

Here, we'll need to wait for Police Scotland to sober up or finish their paperwork. Seriously, they're conspicuous by their absence (without sitting right outside the Helen Street pokey).

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 16:11

KnowsWhatAGiraffeIs · 23/12/2023 15:41

The glossy brochure never turned up in the post as RM are prioritising parcels. Why don't you tell us all about it?

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I'll pass on that. There seem to be several threads painting prisons as amusing places to be and I only opened this thread wondering if it might be a serious one asking for an update on the situation.

Boiledbeetle · 23/12/2023 16:09

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 16:06

I do apologise! @Boiledbeetle.

It’s just the stress of my forthcoming stretch getting to me, you know?

(I actually bought a copy of the first book!) 👊

🍻

If we all end up in the same prison there will definitely be a volumes 3!

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 16:06

I do apologise! @Boiledbeetle.

It’s just the stress of my forthcoming stretch getting to me, you know?

(I actually bought a copy of the first book!) 👊

Terfosaurus · 23/12/2023 16:04

nothingcomestonothing · 23/12/2023 12:20

No it's not just posters on that thread, it's the entirety of Mumsnet she's reporting. So if you've so much as asked for an opinion on a fixed-term mortgage deal, or commented on a baby name, you're stuffed. They're going to need a pretty big holding cell.

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Will the length of our sentence correlate in some way to how long we've been on MN? I've been here a long time.

Mind you, I'm so fed up with being a skint single parent that I'm up for a break. I mean, we get fed in prison regardless of our finances right?
As long as I'm allowed my kindle and crochet supplies I'm happy.

Boiledbeetle · 23/12/2023 15:59

SnowRoomAtTheInn · 23/12/2023 15:55

Snorting! 😂 @KnowsWhatAGiraffeIs

We definitely need a prison singsong. Your reboot of Feed The World, a mass rendition of the theme from Cell Block H and then when we’re all pissed on spuddy gin, a few verses of Fairytale of New York (‘I could have been a woman, well so could anyone’).

Also recitals of that Mumsnet poetry book.

'that mumsnet poetry book'!!

I'll have you know there's two of them now so it's "Those mumsnet poetry books"!

That! Huffs!