Can we have board for parents of trans identifying children and young people

Thank you for saying a bit more @greensharpie. FWIW I think you're right, MN is unlikely to be a place that encourages or embraces young people transitioning.

Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but I guess I was commenting on the trans/neurodivergence overlap, which must surely be almost total? Parents of DC who identify with trans issues need to understand that their children are likely ND and therefore need quite specific help/therapy.

I think trans is a different ‘issue’ to LGB.

Increasingly, I wonder if trans is an autism presentation. It’s almost never popular/outgoing/happy kids who ID as trans, it seems to be linked to depression/anxiety and social/communication/sensory issues. It really is the new goth/punk/emo/tribe.

Writing the paragraph above was really difficult because I want outsider-y kids to be popular and happy (DS1 is AuDHD). But I think we need to help kids find community in shared interests outside of identity and ‘feeling different’.

What I mean is that MN is - on the whole - hostile towards being trans. Being trans is seen by many posters as a pathology or a mental illness. My DC is a trans person, I personally am unlikely to find it supportive or helpful to share my experience of being their parent in a place where their existence is described as "heart breaking", "self harm", "theory", a "time bomb" and "really sad" (examples drawn from this thread alone).

As I said, I completely respect the right of posters to hold gender critical opinions. It's also clear from this thread that other parents of trans people may find a gender critical environment supportive. Each to their own.

What I would find helpful is an environment where people are curious and open-minded, and where it's possible to explore the whole range of possible responses to having a trans child. I think we all know that MN cannot provide this.

As an outsider it seems like a good idea to me. However it would need some self-moderation from the parents / posters to accept that different families will have different approaches to having a trans child. Every parent is trying to do their best by their child, however there may well be vastly differing views as to what 'doing their best' looks like in practice. Otherwise there may well end up being 3 groups arguing the affirmation group v the watchful waiting v actively trying to dissuade. (And calling different views 'hate' or 'child abuse' will probably not be constructive.)

I don't have any say in this other than being a lesbian, but it sounds like a good idea to me as the issues are so different.

However I have seen the responses by anti trans activists when people post with concerns for their trans child.

It might be a good idea to have a clear rule that anti trans activists and trans activists are not welcome to post on the board and will have their posts reported and removed. That it is just for parents, plus trans adults and professionals who have valid experience or suggestions to add. Of course as parents you may have a different view on who would be helpful but I would suggest strong guidelines.

While I respect the right of gender critical posters to express their opinions, I would not dream of posting anything about my child or my efforts to support them in such a hostile environment.

I'm not sure this is the best place, but as a parent in this situation, what hostility do you experience? In what way are other posters hostile towards you, would you say?

I’ve seen no hate. All I’ve seen is love and worry from caring parents who want the best for their kids. Parents trying to get as much information from all sides of the debate. Parents trying to slow it all down and give their child/young adult time to figure it all out without making irreversible medical changes.
I support my child presenting however they want to. I want them to be the best they can be, enjoy the freedom and fun of being a young adult and to give themselves time to really figure out who they are.
That’s love not hate.

You already have the fwr board for your hate. I don't think you need more places to try to persuade parents to alienate their children honestly.

Another worried parent of a FTM transgender child here.. DD was on suicide watch a couple of weeks ago but got local medical help (we are some distance away, she is 19 and at Uni).

Yes please.

Mother of a lesbian, autistic girl who is going through this. Sadly lesbian seems to be cosplay for males or a porn category now. It is heartbreaking.

In all honesty, I am the parent of a trans teenager, and this site is the last place I'd seek support. That makes me sad as it is such a great resource for almost all other topics.

While I respect the right of gender critical posters to express their opinions, I would not dream of posting anything about my child or my efforts to support them in such a hostile environment.

I'd support this too.

Although I’d be glad for the T to be far away from the LGB in theory, I think a trans board has the potential to be invaded by trans activists. At the moment, the LGBT board gets a wider audience. It could end up with worried parents being told to be kind and shut up by trans activists if it has less of an audience. Maybe not, but that would be my concern.

I think that's a sensible idea. Same sex attraction is a a completely different topic to being trans and the other letter is the LGTQIA+ thingy

It helps no one to muddle it all together

I would welcome a separate section as the issues can be very specific .

Excellent idea. It seems obvious that the subject of trans brings up a myriad of different issues to LGB. I speak as a bisexual woman, dismayed to see young women apparently driven to what looks very much like medically supported self-harm. This issue is a ticking time bomb and the parents need very different information and support and the opportunity to discuss the issues involved in one place, not complicated by conflation with a different group of people.

But, as OP says, it's not appropriate.
T and LBG are different things and need different boards.

I’d definitely prefer to have a separate board as like OP says, the issues are completely different and get conflated inappropriately. That can be really confusing for parents who are trying to support a child with their emerging sexuality, as well as parents whose child has absorbed the theory that humans can change sex. Totally different issues, for which both need care and support in different ways.

Yes you are right, it's LGBT not LGB @HumanSoapbox, my mistake. I find it sad because of the medical pathway that trans identified people pursue which makes them lifelong medical patients.

It's the LGBT board, not the LGB board. That's why there are trans related thread on there. It's not sad, it's literally where they go.