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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

'Goady and abusive' posts

118 replies

multivac · 28/06/2023 17:12

I received an email from ' Mumsnet HQ' today warning me that several of my posts had had to be deleted recently because I was posting in an abusive and goady fashion. This is absolutely not true. The only post of mine recently that's been deleted was on a thread that was deleted, and it was not in itself abusive or goady. I'm assuming this was an automated send - but it was upsetting and a little worrying to receive. Could someone at MNHQ please explain what's going on, and perhaps apologise?

OP posts:
WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 29/06/2023 03:24

swanling · 28/06/2023 21:01

I didn't see the thread, but it's always slightly puzzled me that "ODFOD" usually seems to be allowed to stand but "fuck off" gets deleted as a personal attack. It's the same message.

I got reported for a ODFOD

I'd only seen it on here so thought it was okay.

funnyo · 29/06/2023 03:07

multivac · 28/06/2023 21:19

From MN HQ:

These are some of the posts that we've deleted since we last contacted you about your posting style and you agreed to amend it:

"Is anyone on this thread an actual human being?"

"As I say. Bunch of cunts. That's it, really."

"Apparently I'm not allowed to say that people posting vicious things about people they don't know are cunts. Not sure why, really. Do you know either of the two people involved? In which case, grow up, get a life and wind your stupid neck in. Is that better, Mumsnet HQ?"

"You can fuck off right along with the OP. HTH, you utter arse."

Hebe
MNHQ

I have asked for dates and context. Because I post rarely these days; and the two 'cunts' posts are from the same thread, ages ago. And the first one?!

Why are you doing this publicly? I agree it's not doing you any favours

JeandeServiette · 29/06/2023 01:39

Calibre, not "silver" Confused

JeandeServiette · 29/06/2023 01:38

TBF, that post dissing teachers was dripping poison, (stuff about three Es at Alevel for a friend's child who was delighted it would get them on a teaching course and the poster being deeply withering about intellectual sliver and on and on) but I think the poster in question was indeed doing it to GOAD, and you took the bait OP. Best to just snort derisively and ignore.

I sympathise but chalk it up.

HirplesWithHaggis · 29/06/2023 01:31

"Goady" has been used as a word on MN for years - here's a thread from 2017, and it appears it wasn't new then .

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3011342-Goady

(Googling comes up with an urban dictionary meaning which doesn't apply - https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=goady)

But yes, it probably should be "goading".

Goady | Mumsnet

Threat about multiple threads. AIBU unreasonable in thinking that it's stupid to reply with "goady", "goady fucker" or "great another xyz bashing thre...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3011342-Goady

Peachy2005 · 29/06/2023 01:11

Off-topic but why are MNHQ using goady instead of goading - is goady even a word in this context?

Anonymouslyikes · 29/06/2023 00:44

Thanks!

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 29/06/2023 00:31

Anonymouslyikes · 29/06/2023 00:07

I don't swear much, but some of the kids where I live probably learnt to say F off before they could say mumma. We all have different thresholds.

What does odfod mean?
Thanks in advance for enlightenment.

Oh do fuck off dear

That's the meaning of ODFOD btw
I'm not telling you to fuck off.

MorrisZapp · 29/06/2023 00:21

ODFOD is fine because acronyms are much less offensive than written coarse language.

I use WTF in the family group chat and occasionally even in work emails, but I wouldn't dream of typing fuck in either scenario.

WTF gets used in loads of ways when fuck would be totally inappropriate.

ODFOD is just a MN polite swear.

Original poster
multivac · 29/06/2023 00:18

HotWithNoRain · 28/06/2023 23:54

😂😂😂😂

That's a win to MNHQ I think 🤔

Context

OP posts:
Anonymouslyikes · 29/06/2023 00:07

I don't swear much, but some of the kids where I live probably learnt to say F off before they could say mumma. We all have different thresholds.

What does odfod mean?
Thanks in advance for enlightenment.

HeddaGarbled · 29/06/2023 00:00

The only post of mine recently that's been deleted was on a thread that was deleted, and it was not in itself abusive or goady

You can fuck off right along with the OP. HTH, you utter arse

🤣

HotWithNoRain · 28/06/2023 23:54

😂😂😂😂

That's a win to MNHQ I think 🤔

Alcemeg · 28/06/2023 23:45

OP I sympathize but I think we sometimes just have to get over ourselves. My posting activity ramps up when I'm drunk, and I sometimes hold my head in my hands the next morning revisiting what I've posted. My reputation ruined!!!!!!

Except that no one gives a fuck.
I imagine myself centre stage, with a whole audience hanging onto my every word, applauding my wisdom and humour or grieving my lack of sensitivity. In reality this site serves many purposes, from support to entertainment, and my role in it is about as significant as a pebble on a beach.

I'm sure the factors influencing your censorship are completely random, like uptight people on the thread reporting you. There's no real justice on public forums, just things unfolding as they do. Try not to take it to heart ❤️

I HOPE YOU ARE IMPRESSED BY MY WISDOM!!!!!!! 😆 Hopefully all my eager fans who lap up my every word will read this fabulous post and forgive me all my trespasses!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

Original poster
multivac · 28/06/2023 23:43

Go and say it to someone in the street and see what happens - a trip to the dentist I imagine*

Say what to 'someone in the street'?

I was responding to a pile on on an internet thread.

OP posts:
WTFAreYouForReal · 28/06/2023 23:40

multivac · 28/06/2023 23:02

I'm doing both of those, thanks. As I say, I referred to a bunch of people expressing cunty (which to me, means cruel, harsh, entitled) opinions as 'a bunch of cunts' sometime last year. I've troubled the MN algorithms very little since. Unlike many others.

Show quote history

You've probably been reported by one of the in crowd. You'll be deleted for fuck all if they report you.

Deathbyfluffy · 28/06/2023 23:37

Monsterjam · 28/06/2023 21:57

Is anyone on this thread actually human- this doesn’t seem goady ( spell check really hates that word) or a personal attack tbf

Go and say it to someone in the street and see what happens - a trip to the dentist I imagine!

PencilsInSpace · 28/06/2023 23:35

Mustardseed86 · 28/06/2023 23:05

If you're reclaiming it shouldn't it be to use positively? I've not heard of a slur being reclaimed negatively before.

Show quote history

I agree with this.

What's wrong with 'arsehole'? Everyone's got one of those.

Original poster
multivac · 28/06/2023 23:33

I'm still waiting on information about the timing.
The email from MNHQ referred to 'recent' posts - as an occasional poster, I find that confusing.

OP posts:
LochnessMonsieur · 28/06/2023 23:28

I think it's about being reported. For some things, if you're reported then mnhq will take action. Otherwise not. So it depends on who's posting on the thread and if they care to report or not.

OdeToBarney · 28/06/2023 23:24

swanling · 28/06/2023 21:01

I didn't see the thread, but it's always slightly puzzled me that "ODFOD" usually seems to be allowed to stand but "fuck off" gets deleted as a personal attack. It's the same message.

I got deleted for an "ODFOD" once 🤷‍♀️ I'm never quite sure what the rules are really.

CallieQ · 28/06/2023 23:20

similarminimer · 28/06/2023 21:28

Not sure this thread is doing you any favours. Hth

This

Come on... 2 posts calling people the C word etc and you think that's not offensive??

Apricotflanday · 28/06/2023 23:18

Yes, it should probably be used self-referentially or positively, to be reclaimed. :)

I call a spade a spade too, OP, so I sympathise, but it's their site, their rules, and, well, calling people names IS abusive whether deserved or not.
.

Mustardseed86 · 28/06/2023 23:05

multivac · 28/06/2023 22:54

Whereas as a feminist, I reclaim it. Both stances are valid.

Show quote history

If you're reclaiming it shouldn't it be to use positively? I've not heard of a slur being reclaimed negatively before.

Original poster
multivac · 28/06/2023 23:02

IncomingTraffic · 28/06/2023 22:56

You’re really not helping yourself with this thread OP. Maybe just don’t call other posters ‘counts’ and it’ll all work out.

or reply to MNHQ’s emails. They will discuss stuff with you.

I'm doing both of those, thanks. As I say, I referred to a bunch of people expressing cunty (which to me, means cruel, harsh, entitled) opinions as 'a bunch of cunts' sometime last year. I've troubled the MN algorithms very little since. Unlike many others.

OP posts:
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