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MNHQ

The Sex topic - an update on moderation

465 replies

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 01/03/2023 09:43

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all your comments over the past week regarding the Sex board. It’s become clear from the discussion that we needed a rethink about our approach to this part of the site and so we’re going to introduce some rules to help ensure that posters can get the support and advice they need from the board and that everyone has clear expectations of the behaviour we expect.

Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board.

The board is text based - we don’t allow NSFW (not safe for work) images.

We don’t allow links to any NSFW sites or personal profiles on other sites

We will not tolerate creepy or harassing behaviour in particular from male posters

We’ve also had concerns raised about the ongoing ‘sex chat threads’ including the risks involved with allowing users to PM each other. Our approach has always been to allow consenting adults to make their own judgement when it comes to what they’ll share and, broadly, that is still the case across the site - but we acknowledge there are additional vulnerabilities here that we ought to consider.

With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat. For one thing, we can’t guarantee that the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are and we can’t realistically safeguard these kind of off-board discussions. We’ve looked at the moderation principles of similar boards on other sites and this is indeed the policy on several others.

We’d also like to address some of your other comments if we may. Last year we reduced the time required from joining to posting on Sex from 90 days to seven. We’ve no plans to change this at the moment because this timeframe has proved to be a sufficient deterrent to bad actors and we believe that 90 days is too long if you’re a new user with a genuine concern. We’d also like to be clear that our commercial partnerships have had zero bearing on any changes we’ve made (nor did anyone ask us to make changes) and MNHQ does not (and would never) post affiliate links to products under the guise of a regular MNer. We may be many things, but we are not underhand!

As with everything, we’ll continue to monitor the situation and we hope these new rules will go some way to reassure you. If anyone has further questions, please post here and we’ll do our best to answer them.

Thanks.

OP posts:
AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 10:41

I really don’t get any sense of urgency from updates on this thread, it’s all very passive. A long term user leaves, quite politely despite the circumstances, and all that is said is “sorry to hear this”.

Reading things like this persisting on this site and then seeing pictures of Justine smiling next to prominent political figures is, I’m sorry to say, disturbing.

And yes as a previous poster has said, it is not restricted. And Mumsnet is not a secret place that only grown ups can find after the kids go to sleep, as much as we might like to feel that way when we are posting. You can continue to wave goodbye to users and ask people to wait for decisions to be made, but at the very least can you treat it with the urgency that it deserves? That you would if an authoritative board stepped in and told you to pull your socks up? Can you place it that high up on your priority list, please?

MeganTheeScallion · 14/03/2023 10:39

@HaroldsHoodie I don't blame you. At this point it's got to be wilful sticking their fingers in their ears and going "la la la." Far, far more knowledgeable and articulate posters than me have tried and failed to get them to understand. I'm not leaving yet but I'm done with this particular fight.

beastlyslumber · 14/03/2023 10:37

But mentioning CSA on the stately home thread is one thing. No one wants that to be stopped. Having a thread discussing CSA in graphic detail on the sex topic is something completely different.

No one is asking for a blanket ban on any mention of CSA. We are asking you to take safeguarding seriously and not be a forum where paedophile get their jollies.

Not sure why it's so difficult to say there is a ban on CSA discussion in the sex topic. Every other sex forum has a list of banned topics.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 14/03/2023 10:24

@HaroldsHoodie we're genuinely very sorry to hear this.

@beastlyslumber we want to be a space where people can get support from their peers and we'll always do our best to help vulnerable posters. If it's clear that posting isn't in someone's best interests then we'll step in. We don't want to prevent people from talking about their experiences.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 14/03/2023 10:22

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 14/03/2023 09:39

Hello @MeganTheeScallion over the past two weeks we've looked at several threads across the boards where users were seeking support for issues relating to CSA. If we were to have a blanket ban on all descriptions of CSA then most of those threads or a sizeable portion of them would be deleted. We would no longer be able to host the stately home threads, for example, which have provided years of support and camaraderie for hundreds of MNers.

If we believe a post may cause an OP harm - e.g if they've posted more information than they ordinarily would - then we think it's fair to withdraw their post and provide them with links to support. In cases where we have concerns about someone's motivations for posting, then we would remove their thread and contact them off the boards. (If it's a troll then that would be an outright ban.) We have been moderating issues like this on a case-by-case basis and we believe that is the correct approach, based on our experience so far.

@C8H10N4O2 Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups. We suspend posters who we suspect are underage.

Yes we know its a site for grown ups but if you don't put anything in place to restrict the sex topic to adults then its not restricted.

Anyone of any age can currently read the sex topic with no age verification. So unless you have something in place to manage this then its inaccurate to say that its an adults only topic.

In the OP you stated "Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board." So how are you ensuring that NSFW content is adults only? Otherwise you need to withdraw the claim because effectively you are publishing NSFW content with free access.

HaroldsHoodie · 14/03/2023 10:13

The matter is concluded for me, so I'll be de-regging.

I know, I know - it's not an airport...but I've been here for many years so it deserves a proper goodbye.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet There's a (virtual) hamper on its way to HQ with a selection of delectable delights as a thank you for old times' sake: Gin, pombears, lemon drizzle cake (not smashed), naice ham...you know the sort of thing. Thanks for the efforts you went to in preserving this vital space for women to talk when nowhere else would.

beastlyslumber · 14/03/2023 10:11

Yet again showing that MN doesn't even understand what the problem is let alone how to protect and safeguard children and victims of CSA.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet MN isn't a site for adults just because you say so. Without age restrictions or verification it's a site for literally anyone.

AGreenProblem · 14/03/2023 10:03

I thought the issue was CSA being discussed on the ‘sex’ boards? Not on the website in general?

MeganTheeScallion · 14/03/2023 09:44

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet I and others didn't ask for a blanket ban and have stated that it is important to provide a platform for survivors' voices, so not sure where that section of your response has come from, but thanks for your reply. I disagree that your current policies and procedures are sufficient but it's not my website or my responsibility, so fair play to you. Again, thanks for taking the time to look into it and reply.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 14/03/2023 09:39

Hello @MeganTheeScallion over the past two weeks we've looked at several threads across the boards where users were seeking support for issues relating to CSA. If we were to have a blanket ban on all descriptions of CSA then most of those threads or a sizeable portion of them would be deleted. We would no longer be able to host the stately home threads, for example, which have provided years of support and camaraderie for hundreds of MNers.

If we believe a post may cause an OP harm - e.g if they've posted more information than they ordinarily would - then we think it's fair to withdraw their post and provide them with links to support. In cases where we have concerns about someone's motivations for posting, then we would remove their thread and contact them off the boards. (If it's a troll then that would be an outright ban.) We have been moderating issues like this on a case-by-case basis and we believe that is the correct approach, based on our experience so far.

@C8H10N4O2 Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups. We suspend posters who we suspect are underage.

OP posts:
MeganTheeScallion · 14/03/2023 08:56

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet and the CSA content too please?

C8H10N4O2 · 14/03/2023 08:38

Hi @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet any chance of an update on progress or an answer to my questions here:

C8H10N4O2 · 03/03/2023 08:20

In particular how you plan to implement the NSFW content not being accessible to minors and updates on the NITS policies?

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 05/03/2023 14:50

I love the idea of a women’s sexual health and well-being board. I think that’s a really positive idea.

Theyresexpeoplemn · 05/03/2023 14:46

LizzieVereker · 05/03/2023 14:36

This is an excellent idea.

Show quote history

This is a popular idea. People seem on board with this. I feel I should point out that I'm quoting @OhYouBadBadKitten though. I'm just agreeing!

LizzieVereker · 05/03/2023 14:36

Theyresexpeoplemn · 01/03/2023 11:49

A clean slate with a board really targeted at helping women with any sexual health or well being issues would be something I think that most people would be on board with.

Excellent idea. Please do consider this MN

This is an excellent idea.

Mermaidparades · 05/03/2023 14:28

@Theyresexpeoplemn you were the harbinger! 🤣 you tried your best!!

Theyresexpeoplemn · 05/03/2023 14:21

Sooner or later, we'll all be run off by the sex people.
They can't say I didn't warn them 😂

BaroldFromEastenders · 05/03/2023 13:04

You are starting to sound incredibly pompous - nobody cares if you stay or go and MN doesn’t owe you answers about any of it but you seem to think they do.

I never actually thought I’d agree with Janiie but some of you need to “touch grass” as the saying goes. It’s just an internet forum - I wanted the sex forum off active but now it’s gone, go on with your lives.

Rhondaa · 05/03/2023 13:00

'it isn't 'desperation' and your desperate attempts to paint it as such says a lot about you. It's no big deal, just some women no longer wish to hang out here.'

OK good, lovely hang out elsewhere just and your pals need to stop the ooh I'm trying femwah every 5 minutes <it looks desperate>.

Surplus2requirements · 05/03/2023 12:59

I don't see a problem with talking about other fora but discussing how to format one on a board specifically to discuss MN site issues with MNHQ....?

gamerchick · 05/03/2023 12:58

So you're just pretending to leave then? Gotcha.

TangledUpInDreams · 05/03/2023 12:55

@gamerchick I will leave when I've decided the matter is concluded for me. Until then I'm staying.

beastlyslumber · 05/03/2023 12:52

I'm not 'touting' for femvox, just joining in the conversation as a few people mentioned it.

gamerchick · 05/03/2023 12:52

Ah I know man, if people want to leave then leave.

Mumsnet is self moderated, it's been self moderated in the decade I've been on here and probably from its birth. If people want a moderated forum then there are plenty to choose from.

TangledUpInDreams · 05/03/2023 12:50

Personally I don't think we need to/should 'tout'. The smaller it stays the better and word of mouth is enough, I think.

However @Janiie it isn't 'desperation' and your desperate attempts to paint it as such says a lot about you. It's no big deal, just some women no longer wish to hang out here.

Mind you, on balance you can say what you like - once I leave here I'll literally never think about you again, so why would I care what you think or say now?