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MNHQ

The Sex topic - an update on moderation

465 replies

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 01/03/2023 09:43

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all your comments over the past week regarding the Sex board. It’s become clear from the discussion that we needed a rethink about our approach to this part of the site and so we’re going to introduce some rules to help ensure that posters can get the support and advice they need from the board and that everyone has clear expectations of the behaviour we expect.

Posters must be at least 18 years of age - Mumsnet has always been a site for adults but we want to be crystal clear about this for this board.

The board is text based - we don’t allow NSFW (not safe for work) images.

We don’t allow links to any NSFW sites or personal profiles on other sites

We will not tolerate creepy or harassing behaviour in particular from male posters

We’ve also had concerns raised about the ongoing ‘sex chat threads’ including the risks involved with allowing users to PM each other. Our approach has always been to allow consenting adults to make their own judgement when it comes to what they’ll share and, broadly, that is still the case across the site - but we acknowledge there are additional vulnerabilities here that we ought to consider.

With that in mind, we will no longer allow users to ask for or to offer to send PMs for the purposes of sex chat. For one thing, we can’t guarantee that the person you’re chatting with is who they say they are and we can’t realistically safeguard these kind of off-board discussions. We’ve looked at the moderation principles of similar boards on other sites and this is indeed the policy on several others.

We’d also like to address some of your other comments if we may. Last year we reduced the time required from joining to posting on Sex from 90 days to seven. We’ve no plans to change this at the moment because this timeframe has proved to be a sufficient deterrent to bad actors and we believe that 90 days is too long if you’re a new user with a genuine concern. We’d also like to be clear that our commercial partnerships have had zero bearing on any changes we’ve made (nor did anyone ask us to make changes) and MNHQ does not (and would never) post affiliate links to products under the guise of a regular MNer. We may be many things, but we are not underhand!

As with everything, we’ll continue to monitor the situation and we hope these new rules will go some way to reassure you. If anyone has further questions, please post here and we’ll do our best to answer them.

Thanks.

OP posts:
RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:46

It was never a thread for people to chat on. It was always a hook up thread.

This is BS. Just delete the bloody hook up thread or nothing has changed.

Agreed.

Rhondaa · 01/03/2023 17:44

BIWI · 01/03/2023 17:40

Oh @Janiie- you love to get the wrong end of the stick, don't you?

Oh Biwi. I think you have the wrong end of the stick with your macro view that mnhq are moving towards a sexually explicit site. Read the op! It's all there.

BIWI · 01/03/2023 17:40

Oh @Janiie- you love to get the wrong end of the stick, don't you?

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 17:38

So, what I’m hearing from mumsnet is,

The sex chat hook up thread remains.
Don’t ask for PMs, that’s no longer allowed, it’s against our rules, and as long as you don’t do that, we will turn a blind eye to it happening.

The pervs will love it as it’s just become even for ‘secretive’ and ‘taboo’. Fucking hell.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 01/03/2023 17:36

Is the move towards more sexually explicit content and posting something you have included in your latest business plan, to grow revenue and user numbers? Are you targeting a different demographic now?

This is what gets me. Mumsnet are pretending that it is a sex advice board when for anyone with eyes it clearly isn't. It's a sexy chat board which is different and if that's the route mumsnet wants to go down then that is their choice but own it, be open about it so posters can make their minds up whether or not that's a place they want to be.

Rhondaa · 01/03/2023 17:36

'Is the move towards more sexually explicit content and posting something you have included in your latest business plan, to grow revenue and user numbers? Are you targeting a different demographic now?'

🙄

My 'macro view' is they couldn't have been more clearer. I certainly didn't get they are moving towards a more 'sexually explicit site'. They are allowing the sex board and chat to stay with conditions. All explained.

Unless you mean advertising sex toys is 'sexually explicit'. It isn't, they are very common and available all over the place and not remotely disgusting

Report anything you see (while you are not looking at the awful board) that breaks TGs. It will be deleted.

Dm requests are now not allowed. I'm not sure what people aren't getting here.

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 17:24

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:23

If it was a woman.

That thread was deleted by MNHQ and you took it upon yourself to start another one.

Show quote history

Exactly.

BIWI · 01/03/2023 17:23

So, stepping back a little bit for a macro view of all of this. Given your tie ups with Ann Summers and Smile Makers @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet and @JustineMumsnet, what's the longer term 'direction of travel' for Mumsnet?

Is the move towards more sexually explicit content and posting something you have included in your latest business plan, to grow revenue and user numbers? Are you targeting a different demographic now?

None of this - to me - sits comfortably with a site which was set up to be 'By parents, for parents'. There are plenty of places on the internet where people can look for no-strings sex talk or sex. Why does Mumsnet have to expand into that arena?

I feel that you have listened to some of the points being raised by other posters - your content providers - but you haven't really heard. Or perhaps you're listening to a different kind of user now?

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:23

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:21

The original sexchat thread on here was started by a woman.

Show quote history

If it was a woman.

That thread was deleted by MNHQ and you took it upon yourself to start another one.

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 17:22

So do we start reporting all the ‘M 57, not getting any at home type posts’ 🤮

I’ve got a lot of time on my hands over the next few days. 🤷🏻‍♀️

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:21

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:17

everywhichway is the OP of the Sex Chat hook up thread and is a man.

The original sexchat thread on here was started by a woman.

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 17:19

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:17

everywhichway is the OP of the Sex Chat hook up thread and is a man.

Yep. Telling us all how reasonable it all is. So there you go ‘ladies’. 🙄

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:17

everywhichway is the OP of the Sex Chat hook up thread and is a man.

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 17:16

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:02

My reading of what MNHQ said was that they are not trying to put a stop to the sexchat thread but rather to put some safeguarding rules around it. Rules which look quite reasonable to me.

Show quote history

They’re basically going to let the PMs continue as long as you don’t explicitly ask for them, but as it’s already established that’s what the thread is about, nothing changes. Of course you think it’s reasonable, you want your cheating hook ups corner to continue.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 01/03/2023 17:11

You aren't personally, every but other people are certainly using the thread for that - since the MNHQ message there are posts along the lines of "I'm NOT looking to meet a bi-curious woman" etc.

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:10

....and I've advised against others tring to circumvent the new rules too.

LucyLeave · 01/03/2023 17:09

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:08

I'm certainly not trying to do any such thing.

Show quote history

🙄

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:08

LucyLeave · 01/03/2023 17:06

Rules that you and the regulars on there are trying to get round by being oh so clever.

Show quote history

I'm certainly not trying to do any such thing.

LucyLeave · 01/03/2023 17:06

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:02

My reading of what MNHQ said was that they are not trying to put a stop to the sexchat thread but rather to put some safeguarding rules around it. Rules which look quite reasonable to me.

Show quote history

Rules that you and the regulars on there are trying to get round by being oh so clever.

everywhichway · 01/03/2023 17:02

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 16:53

Yes, I got that. I was talking about the people who do want PMs, not even think about the critical posters getting unwanted ones.

My point is, if mumsnet are going to try to tell us they’re putting a stop to it, when all they’re doing is stopping the actual requesting of PMs, nothing will change. You will simply ‘exploit the loophole’. It will be known that its a thread for people who do want PMs, they just can’t explicitly say that.

So the problem still exists. Your hook up cheating thread needs to go. There are plenty of other sites you can use that don’t market themselves as a place for women’s voices to be heard and a place that makes parents lives easier.

My reading of what MNHQ said was that they are not trying to put a stop to the sexchat thread but rather to put some safeguarding rules around it. Rules which look quite reasonable to me.

RockClimber · 01/03/2023 17:02

Given what you have posted, why has the Sex Chat hook up thread not been deleted yet, @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet ?

It's still there, with all the older posts touting for PMs, and new ones posted since your update basically mocking the new rules and openly attempting to bypass them.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 01/03/2023 17:02

I don't understand why people want to use Mumsnet as a hook-up site; it just doesn't make sense to me. I understand using it for chat on all kinds of general things - as a non-parent, that's how I use it. But if you want to "meet up" with people privately, rather than chatting on a forum, there are so many sites dedicated to that kind of thing, why would you not just go to a site where you know everyone is there for the same purpose?

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 16:59

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet Please can you address my posts I made at 16:12 and 16:25. Thank you.

And confirm, is the sex chat staying up? And if so, do we have to report all the posts from the past months that are asking for PMs, in order for them to be deleted. If so, this is a joke.

OutOfThisState · 01/03/2023 16:55

CrotchetyCrocheting · 01/03/2023 16:54

Off topic but there is something gross about a person that repeatedly calls women 'females'. I mean, I presume you are taking about women and not female cats or female dogs etc?

Well it’s usually ‘ladies’.

🤮

CrotchetyCrocheting · 01/03/2023 16:54

Off topic but there is something gross about a person that repeatedly calls women 'females'. I mean, I presume you are taking about women and not female cats or female dogs etc?

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